Monthly Archives: August 2011



I’ll have to update my resume … if I ever resume jobhunting.


note: I have no idea why it says “RESUME” outside this garbage point/elevator area in a local carpark.

double note: it must be quite rare for a person to have had only one job in a lifetime … even Jesus was a carpenter before he hit the big time!


Today 237

Today was like watching a cloud: it looked interesting, kept changing bit by bit, and then when I looked away for a second … it was gone.

I Feel Tense


There should be a new verb tense called:
Present Past Possibly Progressive
to use when you don’t know if the action is over.

What arewere you thinking?” … “I’mwas not quite sure.

Where is your girlfriend?” … “She iswas leaving me.

… because sometimes you just can’t be too sure.


note: It was called “Present Continuous” when I went to school, but I guess that’s “Past Incontinuous” now.

double note: the photo was taken on the grounds of a little museum near to where I live. If the sun is shining, you can see a rainbow on the inside of the building. … I guess using a waterhose when the sun is shining isn’t artistic.


Today #236

Today I sweat so much at the gym I’m pretty sure I was only 40% water when I left.

Bad Camouflage




note: insecticide is when insects take their own lives, right?


Today #235

Today was all caffeine, nicotine, and latrine.

Bang Bang Bang … Let Me Out!


I never used to be a “working stiff” … I used to be an “unemployed stiff”

… or a child.

I know! It’s hard to tell looking at me now!


note: benders seem to start with someone bending my arm … and then they turn into more weavy and staggery affairs.

double note: if I didn’t have to work, I would probably fart around on the computer more, more or less … or moralless … or something like that.

triple note: for newcomers to the blog, this is what it says if you hover the cursor over the photo: “This is how I feel at work.

quadruple note: I’m quite un-unemployable: it’s a curse.

quintuple note: somedays I know what The Tragically Hip were singing about in this video:

sextuple note: I don’t feel too bad about going into work normally … or usually though.


Today #234

Today my old lighter died, so I grabbed another one from my extensive back-up inventory. The new one is red: thanks for asking.

Decisions … Best Two Out Of Three


The only thing decided by a game of Tic Tac Toe … is probably a game of Tic Tac Toe.

It’s not like flipping a coin … or rock, paper, and scissoring.


note: slide hogs still bother me.


Today #233

Today I wished I’d kept a diary for the last 40 years … so I’d know I just wasn’t recently full of crap.

Today note: I’d probably have a kick ass lock on that diary too!



Bees give me hives

… or at least leave them in places where I can steal them.


note: why are they called “catacombs” … and not “catatombs“?

double note: I’ll think of the above things as “bees” … as long as they don’t sting me. If they sting me, then they will be a bunch of dead “wases”.

triple note: “Today, Adee Honey Farm in South Dakota, USA, (80,000 colonies) and Scandia Honey Company in Alberta, Canada (12,000 colonies) are among the world’s largest beekeeping enterprises.”
from Wikipedia

quadruple note: I  always thought “apiarists” were people who liked appetizers. 

quintuple note: I seem to be going through an insect stage lately on the blog. I think egg, larva, and pupa stages are over: I should be an adult pretty soon.


Today #232

Today I thought “glow in the dark lightbulbs” would be a good idea during a power outage … but not so good on a regular night, while I’m trying to sleep.



Stress means different things to different people;

I can’t stress this enough.


note: it’s always gondolas and cable-cars! … I’d feel safer in a cable-plane.


Today #231

Today I thought … if I build a house out of rulers I probably don’t need to use a measuring tape. I’m not an engineer, so I don’t know if I should go with inch rulers or metric ones.

Swimming Against The Grain


Fields are like pools:

if you aren’t sure of your ability, stay at the fallow end.


note: I guess the life preserver is for sticky rice situations. (groan)


Today #230

Today was like a piece of string with no kitten,
but definitely not like a kitten with no piece of string.

Torrential Sunshine


Weather and I have come to an agreement:

it does what it wants, and I don’t complain about it.

Weather or not I like it.


note: why isn’t there “push-up underwear” to make a guy look like he’s got a chest instead of a gut? … I don’t really care; I’m just wondering … or wonderful … or something like that.

double note: a wonder-ring sounds better than a wonderingworm.

triple note: why do I imagine those statues holding pizza boxes?


Today #229

Today I threw out the extra set of shoelaces that came with some shoes that I can’t remember ever having. Black shoelaces??? It’s a mystery.



Characters have to have character:

… or they are just left on the drawing board.


note: what makes Miffy, Hello Kitty, Snoopy, Bart Simpson and Mickey Mouse so special?

double note: Does Mr. Gucci only wear Gucci? Does Mr. Armani only wear Armani? Does Mr. Levi only wear Levi’s? Does Mr. Loom only wear Fruit of the Loom?
Planetross wears Planetross stuff, but only because it’s not cool. I’m sure if it ever caught on, I’d never wear that trendsetter stuff … unless I could get a lucrative endorsement.

triple note: I spend more time telling people that the teeth are pickles. For some reason, people think they are caterpillars: dill pickles aren’t very popular over here to be fair.


Today #228

Today none of my students wanted any of my imaginary ketchup sandwiches.