X1. Mr. Lower Back (dead)

unnamed subject.

I bought a Hair Labo (see above picture). It cost $10. Was it worth it? Let’s find out.

The package says grass should start appearing between 5-12 days.

Hair Labo is made in Thailand and is sold by Plabo. e-mail address: plabo@violin.ocn.ne.jp



May 1st 2010: Mr Lower Back continues to live, but not very well. He still sprouts a few green blades of grass … that I pretend is hair. He’s not doing too bad for a 2 year old.


February 10th 2010: Mr. Lower Back lives … not very well, but he still lives.


October 26th 2009: Mr. Lower Back is still alive. That’s about all I can say: he lives!

a bit more than a bit spotty on the hair growing


September 23rd 2009: I’ve given Mr. Lower Back a little haircut, but he’s still the same as recently.

Mr. Lower Back 09 23 09



September 18th 2009: I’ve forgotten to look at Mr. Lower Back lately. He’s still limping along or a long or whatever.

Mr. Lower Back ... some friends.


September 2009: Mr. Lower Back is limping a long. How long will he last? It’s anyone’s guess!! He’s been with me since April 14th 2008: he is family now … or something!

Mr. Lower Back: 1 year and 5 months


End of July 2009: Mr. Lower Back has taken a turn for the worse. He’s developed a bit of a fungi problem on his head: he was growing a mushroom on his head! He’s also more of a white mold grower than a hair grower. I’ve cut him back and will see if he recovers.

end of July 2009


June 2009: Mr. Lower Back is still alive and well. He’s had his summer haircut and hopefully will get more of his green healthy hair back. At the moment with his short hair style, he looks a bit brown.

Mr. Lower Back June 2009


One Year or so (04 ’09): What a crazy year it’s been for Mr. Lower Back!  He has grown a lot mentally, physically, and spiritually since his arrival into my family … I’m not too sure about the mental and spiritual part as he doesn’t talk a lot … I’m just guessing.
I have nurtured him as if he were a seed and he’s sprouted into such a polite and handsome individual. I guess this proves the “nature vs. nurture” thing once and for all: he’s just like me! and I’m sure that I’m not his real biological father … or mother.

Happy Birthday Mr. Lower Back!

Happy Birthday!


Month 10 or so (02 ’09) : Mr. Lower Back is still surviving and thriving. He looks a bit moldyish looking, but otherwise is healthy and happy.

February '09



Month 7 and 8: Mr. Lower Back is doing fine. His hair still doesn’t grow all over his head; and he’s a bit grungy looking, but oh well! I may have to get him a friend or something: he’s become stale.

Mr. Lower Back


Month 6: Mr. Lower Back received his second haircut today. He’s still not growing his hair all over his head, so I have to take pictures of him from his good angle. Otherwise he’s doing fine and drinking water like crazy.


Month 5: Mr. Lower Back got his first haircut today! I’m no barber, sorry. He’s doing fine and still not growing hair on the top of his head, while still drinking heaps of water. I think he needs a shave as well.


Month 4: Mr. Lowerback has finally started to produce a good quantity of hair. It’s still not growing on the top of his head, but as long as I keep taking frontal view photos only I will be okay. He’s drinking an awful lot of water these days too. I fill him up every other day.


Week Twelve: Mr. Lowerback is doing okay. I don’t think I need to write about him so much anymore. I will update this every month from now on. Next update August 10th, 2008 or so.


Week Eleven: He’s well on the way to just another bad hair style.


Week Ten: visible growth, water level topped up twice, and 2 hairs on his head!

Mr. Lowerback is slowly improving his hair production. Maybe he is full of time-release seeds (like those cold capsules).

Observation: Well worth the $10.

Week Nine: visible growth and water level topped up twice.

Mr. Lowerback is doing well. Finally a hair from his head!! Only one, but it’s a start. I’m so proud.

Observation: I have to get a wider lense for my camera or give him a haircut.


Week Eight: visible growth and water level topped up twice.

Mr. Lower Back is growing hair, but still nothing on the top of his head.

Observation: I’m thinking of giving him a comb-over.

Week Seven: visible growth and water level visibly lower.

Mr. Lower Back keeps growing hair, but keeps not growing it in the designated hair growing area.

Observation: My friends have been trash talking Mr. Lower Back right in front of him. That’s not right.

Week Six: visible growth and water level topped up a few times.

Mr. Lower Back‘s hair is growing longer, but not too many new sprouts. He’s a thirsty little bugger; I found his glass empty one morning: not sure how long he was waterless. Hopefully dehydration hasn’t left him with any permanent brain damage.

Observation: I’ve spent $10 on worse things than this.

Week Five: visible growth and water level visibly lower.

Mr. Lower Back is not living up to expectatons. He’s got growth, but still nothing on his head. I punched a few holes into his head, but nothing coming out of them so far. I think the maker only put 5 seeds in his noggin. oh well, he doesn’t take up much space and if he does start doing what he’s supposed to do, I will be surprised.

Observation: I may buy him some sunglasses for the summer.  The new camera is great; thanks for asking.

Week Four: visible growth, water level visibly lower.

Mr. Lower Back is doing crappy. 5 hairs only! None from the supposed growing region. I went back to the store and checked out the display ones. They all have tons on hair. I must have got a bad one. Maybe his scalp is too thick; I’m going to poke holes in his head to see if that will help growth.

Observation: I’m bummed out. If Mr. Lower Back was being picked for playground sports, he’d be picked last.  Sorry for such a bad photo. My camera broke and I had to use my other broken camera. I will buy a new camera tomorrow; hopefully that will encourage Mr. Lower Back to grow hair. I’m going to change his name to Mr Ear Hair, if he doesn’t smarten  up.


Week Three: water level visibly lower, visible growth.

I go away for almost a week and Mr. Lower Back hasn’t done too too much. 2 new hairs, but still none on his head. He must be going for the fringe development look.

Observation: Maybe if I go away for a month, he’ll get his act together.


Day Fourteen: visible growth, water level unchanged.

What can I say? I don’t think Mr. Lower Back is really cut out for this hair growing business.

Observation: I’m getting tired of taking photos of him everyday. I will add a new photo and progress report once a week from now on. Stay tuned!

Next update: May 4th (if I remember)





Day Thirteen: visible growth, water level lower.

I didn’t expect the hair to grow in such a funny place. He has 2 long strands, but they don’t make him look cool or cute 😦  He looks proud of them though; I don’t want to hurt his feelings, so I put on my smiley face when I take his picture.

Observation: Hopefully the next hair come on his head!

Day Twelve: visible growth, water level visibly lower.

I’ve decided to put the most recent day on the top of this page instead of the bottom. I think people don’t want to scroll down; I know I don’t like to (I’ll cut and paste the other entries when I have time; I’m anal that way) 2 hairs today, but neither are where they should be growing. Nothing on the top of the head: preferred hair growing area. I must have bought the one made just before a Thai holiday. Where is inspector 37 when you need her (or him).

Observation: Maybe Mr. Lower Back will grow a beard and mustache too!

Day Eleven: visible growth, water level visibly lower.

A hair! A single hair! Finally. I came home not expecting anything and voila! One single, short, itty bitty, shute of grass! Way to go Mr. Lower Back! It’s not on his head, but it’s a start. Happy Happy Joy Joy!

Observation: I gotten way too excited about this.


Day Ten: No visible growth, water level unchanged.

Mr. Lower Back better start growing some hair soon or I’m going to get mad! Aaargh! Of all the ones on the shelf, I had to buy the slow one. I bet there are a lot of people out there who were enjoying there hairy Hair Labos after 5 days! Come on already!

Observation: Patience didn’t work. Time for alternative methods.


Day Nine: no visible growth, water level a little lower.

I remain optimistic that Mr. Lower Back is going to do big things. I’m sure I will  wake up tomorrow morning and he will look like Don King, or at least like my chin with a days growth. I can dream can’t I?

Observation: The Mr. Lower Back Experiment is a waiting game: like watching paint dry or snow melting.

Day Eight: no visible growth, water level unchanged.

I think I’m putting to much pressure on Mr. Lower Back. I’ll have to lighten up; maybe watch a hockey game over a few beers with him. Maybe that will get his mind off this hair growing business.

Observation: If he doesn’t grow hair, I will love him anyway.



Day Seven: no visible growth, water level lower.

It’s been one week and nothing is happening yet. If the package tells the truth, I will see some growth in the next 5 days. It’s been a wild ride so far!

Observation: I really need a steady girlfriend or more channels on the TV.

Day 6: no visible growth, water level unchanged.

I’ve decided to be an optimist and have pulled out my lawn mower in preparation for the abnormal abundancy of growth to come. I predict big things from Mr. Lower Back. I’m sure a few weeks from now he will be a serious hippie longhair listening to my Woodstock album and sucking on the bong when I get home from work.

Observation: In his chin area, he is starting to become a bit moist; similar to me when I think about spare ribs (I don’t think it’s drool though).

Day 5: no visible growth,  water level unchanged.

Mr. Lower Back is just sitting there doing nothing. No stubble, no single sprout of green, no nothing 😦  But I have to remain calm.  I’m thinking about taking him to a barber, so he knows how nice they are. Perhaps the sight of the lollipop he will receive after his first haircut will encourage him.

Observation: I am not a patient person. I want to see instant results. I also forgot my camera at work yesterday, so I’m not expecting any big results on Day 6 either.

Day Four: no visible growth, water level visibly lower.

Looking at Mr. Lower Back, he reminds me of the Borg Queen in the 2nd Star Trek Next Generation movie. The part where Data wastes her and she is just a head and spinal column. Mr. Lower Back is just a head and a string. I wish he would grow legs as well, so he could fill up his own glass jar.

Observation: I should have looked at my previous day’s observations about taking pictures in the day time.

Day Three: no visible growth, water level visibly lower.

I’ve decided to change it’s name from John to Lower Back because:

a) this Labo should grow  (faux) hair sooner or later.

b) my friend John will not grow hair sooner or later.

c) my lower back used to be hairless, but then it began to grow hair.

Observation: I should take pictures of Mr. Lower Back before I go to work because the light is better.

Day Two: no visible growth, water level unchanged.

I have decided to call it John, because my friend John has no hair either.

Observation: watching it does not help growth; neither does leering, glancing, or peripheral vision unobserved viewing.


Day One: Removed from package, added water, and congratulated myself on being such a scientist/gardener.

unnamed subject.

28 responses to “X1. Mr. Lower Back (dead)

  1. Still no hair? What’s going on with that! Question though, when the hair finally gets long, do you have to take it back to the shop for a $10 hair cut?

  2. Yes, the no hair is a disappointment so far. But when or if it grows hair like grass, I’m going to let it grow long. Maybe I’ll make him a Rasta!

  3. two words~ “chia pet”

    by the way, i think bald is sexy

  4. Woah, i just lost 5 minutes of my life reading that. Did you try watering his head?

  5. Imagine how I feel? I’ve lost 5 weeks!!
    an affirmative on the head watering 🙂

  6. Maybe I could get one then transplant to my own head after the 4 moth period. I wonder if I should poke holes in my scalp, it may help…
    Guess it can’t hurt, no pain, no gain….

  7. I’m thinking you got robbed

  8. Month 5 is looking good albeit a bit lopsided, maybe sit him in a bucket of cow manure, just sayin’

  9. Your experiment is looking more and more like Michael Jackson at each update – whiter.

  10. He’s improved since I last checked him out at month 5. His roots look like little legs hanging down into the jar. I saw these for sale at a local plant nursery & was gunna get one but then remembered yours. I’m not patient enough….

  11. Wow, he has certainly improved since the last time I checked in on him

  12. Those seeds kind of look like maggots…

  13. A year on & he’s looking mighty fine. I’m sure any self respecting scientist would be proud to have one that good.
    Maybe he would prosper even more with some cow poo in his drinking water

  14. Golly gosh, Mr, LB has certainly aged dramatically since last time I checked in on him. I guess the mushroom was an added bonus, would’ve went nice with steak & chips.

  15. Tony: I think I have killed “My Newest New Experiment” so Mr. Lower Back is all that remains.
    A possible “brain transplant” might be in order for little “Nyoki“.

  16. Even in his dilapidated state he still has more hair coverage than me

  17. Good to know his mouldectomy was successful. So he’s a heavy drinker, eh? Could be what killed off his hair. Looked like it was growing from his ears at the end. A lot of older men have hairs growing out of their ears. (now I have stuck that image in your noggin!) Hope he will recover and grow hair again.

  18. S. Le and Tony: sorry I haven’t updated this for … about 6 months. Mr. Lower Back is still alive … and looks the same.
    He is a very heavy drinker! I just keep him over my kitchen sink these days, so he can be topped up with water every 2 days.

    note to self: update this page.

  19. Hay Missus S. Le wots rong wiv hairy eers, I got hairy eers & so duz Daddy. Oops I wozent suposd to tell the hole werld Daddy has hairy eers

  20. We want updates, we want updates!!!
    Does he still live???

  21. Still no updated photos Grrrrrr….
    Disappointment abounds today… 😦

  22. I promise to update Mr. Lowerback today … my time … later … today April 13th.

  23. November 2011 check in: Ummm… Does Mr. Lower back still live???

  24. Tony: Mr. Lowerback still lives. He’s just so sad looking that I am unmotivated about updating this page.
    The next update will probably be about how I euthanized him.

  25. euthanized or euthanazed

  26. Tony: I haven’t done it yet, but the thought crosses my mind sometimes.
    Mr. Lowerback will probably get lucky and just die of natural causes some time this winter.
    His demise or demase will be sad.

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