Banan Apeel

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It’s actually quite difficult to slip on a banana peel.

I never find one in my size

… or the right occasion.

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note: if you slip on a banana peel, do you do the banana splits?

double note: slipping on something more uncomfortable … sounds like work … or work related clothing.

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Things I’ve Seen With My Own Two Eyes #5:     Invisible Ink … maybe.

Air Transport

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Do you know what security x-ray technicians at airports can’t see?

Inflated balloons in luggage.

I’m going to hide something in one next time.

… they probably won’t be able to see that either!

I could be wrong; I usually am.

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note: I brought this balloon back from Canada in my backpack.

         security x-ray technician: Why are you carrying an empty backpack?

        me: hee hee!

double note: why this balloon? … my sister thought it was a planetross
thing … and saved it for me for 4 years.
My family knows me too well.

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Things I’ve Seen With My Own Two Eyes #2:
reading glasses approaching.

It’s Under There

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Sometimes I wear the same underwear for 2 days

… but not consecutively.

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note: wearing 6 feet underwear sounds like a really bad thing.

double note: being an under werewolf sounds not so desirable either.

triple note: it’s my birthday today.
I walked in a straight line all day, but I still turned 48 years old anyway.

quadruple note: if I had a choice, I’d have my birthdays out of order … wouldn’t that be nice.

Matching Outfitters

 

My mother never used to dress us kids alike … intentionally.

However, we did kind of look the same at 2 year intervals.

 

note: I’m the youngest, but photos of me seem the most faded … and patchy … for some reason.

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Today #248

Today was hump day! … I humped around for most of it.

Influessentials

 

Characters have to have character:

… or they are just left on the drawing board.

 

note: what makes Miffy, Hello Kitty, Snoopy, Bart Simpson and Mickey Mouse so special?

double note: Does Mr. Gucci only wear Gucci? Does Mr. Armani only wear Armani? Does Mr. Levi only wear Levi’s? Does Mr. Loom only wear Fruit of the Loom?
Planetross wears Planetross stuff, but only because it’s not cool. I’m sure if it ever caught on, I’d never wear that trendsetter stuff … unless I could get a lucrative endorsement.

triple note: I spend more time telling people that the teeth are pickles. For some reason, people think they are caterpillars: dill pickles aren’t very popular over here to be fair.

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Today #228

Today none of my students wanted any of my imaginary ketchup sandwiches.

Room For Change

 

The changeroom was somehow different than the last time I went into it.

 

note: change for changesake is vending machinations.

double note: change for the better sounds like an overtipping recipient.

triple note: I think personal change, for the better, is just losing crap you don’t really need and acquiring crap you do: like a piece of cheese being molded into something better … like penicillin.

quadruple note: I’ve been preoccupied following the Vancouver Canucks make it to the Stanley Cup Final: hopefully I’ll be busy until they win The Cup. This blog may suffer for a few more weeks.
(On Planetross there is only one cup … but there are a lot of bowls, plates, and silverware.)

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Today #202

Today was as easy as spelling “easy” “EZ“.

Animal Tracks … Or Prints … Or Something Like That

 

In a perfect world,

 animals would probably use “fashion designer” patterns when they created clothing.

 

note: “it’s my natural selection … selection”

double note: baboon print jeans never really caught on.

triple note: “It’s real Armani … can’t you tell by the genuine cracked Italian leatherface surface on this bag?”

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Today #136

Today as I sat in an outdoor onsen, I saw a Japanese serow wandering off into the woods.
… I’ve seen them before, but not while naked sitting in a hotspring bath.
I may start something called “Naked Animal Spotting Animals“! … or NASA for short .

Citizen Kane

 

It’s just a hunch, but …

Citizen Kane would probably be a more famous movie if it was called “Citizen Titty Lip Service”.

 

note: I’m sure this is a hamster character’s name in one of Tooty Nolan‘s books. … or it should be!

double note: I should read shopping centre directories more often.

triple note: I was watched outside of “Citizen” and remained mute around “Lip Service“, but I couldn’t resist “Titty & Co.“.

quadruple note: “What’s in fashion this season?”
                                        “Two”

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Today #118

Today rolled off the tongue like some German word I can’t pronounce.

Material Bystander

 

Some books are made into great movies.

Mine is more t-shirt and coffee mug material.

 

note: I think my next book will be thicker … I need some sweaters for the winter.

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Mean Things I Say About People #3

“No, you don’t sound like a broken record … you sound like a half broken record … cause I can still hear you.”
(the italicized section is usually muttered inaudibly)

Fashionably Loud

 

 

I don’t follow fashion,

but to be fair

… it doesn’t follow me around either.

 

note: people who read fashion magazines are material witnesses.

double note: tailors, farmers, and uncaring people like to sew/so.

triple note: double stitching is so-so.

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Today #16

Today is the first day of the rest of your life … but so were all the others.
I guess people can only print so much on buttons and fridge magnets.