A Natural Occurrence That Occurs … Naturally!

 

When I’m out in cold weather, I seem to have to urinate more frequently than usual.

I’m sure if I was frozen solid, I’d piss myself!

 

note: I probably wouldn’t have to urinate at all on the sun.

double note: you know those days when you have nothing to say in a blog post? … I have those everyday. hee hee!

.

Today #291

Today I thought, “Hey! Tomorrow is payday! Treat yourself to a nice lunch; you’re worth it.” 
Mmmm drive-thru or counter service … decisions decisions.

At The End Of The Rainbow

 

If you were standing at the end of the rainbow, I suspect that it would look like a straight vertical red line.

Just a thin red line protecting that big pot of gold!

 

note: rainbows make me think of Judy Garland and chocolate coalitions pissing off whalers and the French.

double note: I’m sure there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but it’s probably filled with effluence from people who wanted to be affluent … but couldn’t lift that heavy pot.

.

Today #286

Today I did the “finger in the mouth” maneuver like this:

… and may have sang a bit of the song.

Torrential Sunshine

 

Weather and I have come to an agreement:

it does what it wants, and I don’t complain about it.

Weather or not I like it.

 

note: why isn’t there “push-up underwear” to make a guy look like he’s got a chest instead of a gut? … I don’t really care; I’m just wondering … or wonderful … or something like that.

double note: a wonder-ring sounds better than a wonderingworm.

triple note: why do I imagine those statues holding pizza boxes?

.

Today #229

Today I threw out the extra set of shoelaces that came with some shoes that I can’t remember ever having. Black shoelaces??? It’s a mystery.

A Near Mist

 

Returning home yesterday I thought my house might have been destroyed by the rainbow, but it wasn’t.

It was another near miss.

I’m lucky like that.

 

note: I better buy “rainbow insurance” this year.

double note: weather people never predict rainbows.

triple note: I have money saved for a rainy day, but not much put aside for the rainbow days to follow.

.

Today #221

Today I told students that July 11th was “7-11 Day” … and everything was free at those stores.
I may have forgotten to tell a few of them that I was just joking.
It’s okay though … the police are pretty lenient on minors over here probably.

It’s Getting Clouded In Here

 

Everything becomes the past, but you can still see it all.

We have rearview mirrors and reflective surfaces in our heads. 

Some people use them: some don’t.

 

note: I thought this was a “Mirage“, but it was just a “Voxy“.

double note: this was a pretty funky cloud!

.

Today #216

Today was “Clock work …………………………… Orange.“

Cure

 

I’d be a good “curator”.

“The person died. This is not a good cure.”

 

note: “To preserve (meat, for example), as by salting, smoking, or aging.”
I’m curing myself right now! … through all 3 methods.

double note: the cure to driving straight is adding a “v”.

.

Today #214

I was threatened all day today … by rain.
… but it was an empty threat.

Migration! … Themgration!

 

Birds don’t fly south for the winter; they fly south for the summer.              … don’t be so egocentric.

The Sun revolves around all of the things here on Earth!

 

note: Do people in Southern areas say “The birds are flying North for the winter.“?

double note: equatorial birds don’t fly anywhere I guess.

triple note: global warming will be pretty anti-climatic for birds I guess.

quadruple note: coast line living used to be unfathomable for many … but now it might be fathomable.

“I saw some fish move into the Johnson’s. There goes the neighbourhood!”

quintuple note: “Six feet under! Over my … I’m moving up!”

.

notes to myself #132

Our Mother takes us to “Animal House” at 13!!!!
It’s a big deal … and very cool!!!!!
I still can’t believe it!

Icicles

 

An icicle will last just as long at 35°C as it does at 0°C.

… I eat them pretty fast.

 

note: Icicle Racing should really be a Winter Olympic sport.

Icicle icicle icicle
I want to ride my icicle icicle icicle
I want to ride my icicle
I want to ride my ice
I want to ride my icicle
I want to ride it where I like

(apologies to Queen)

 

double note: Are there stalagmite like icicles?    (that’s hard to say)

.

notes to myself #115

The expression “waterlogged” doesn’t have anything to do with wet logs.
… but it could.

Evidense … Maybe

 

Sometimes snow isn’t very good at covering up stuff.

 

note: “Mom! Jason’s been making snow angels outside again!”

double note: “No, I haven’t seen your cat.”

triple note: sorry if this one’s a bit macabre. I carry myself away sometimes.

.

notes to myself #107

Don’t play with the Robson’s down the road: they put rocks in their snowballs.

Properly Attired

 

I had to buy 2 new snow tires last weekend.

They don’t even gift wrap them at the gas station anymore.

 

note: I didn’t play with the guitar keychain in the photo … very much.

double note: why do vehicles always seem to run so much better when you get something new put on them?
I swear my van goes faster when I change the air freshener.

.

notes to myself #89

When you get a flat tire have it fixed right away: 8 months of sitting outside flat kind of ruins it forever for some reason.