Monthly Archives: August 2008

Albinos

 

I guess to albinos everyone else is just a “pigment of their imagination”.

note: Is “furmentation” when you are born with fur?   Or does it have something to do with grapes and stuff?

double note: Why are all snowmen albino?

triple note: planetross is off for a 3 day weekend and won’t be posting. Bet you thought I’d gone nuts with 5 posts all together! Have a good weekend. See you next week.

quadruple note: WordPress went weird with the post “Googling“. It’s out of order from the others for some reason. Check it out! I like that one.

http://humor-blogs.com/

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Secrets

 

“I’ve got a secret!

But I can’t tell you what it is because then it wouldn’t be a secret anymore.”

Is it human nature to want to share a secret with someone so you can get mad at them after they share your secret with others?

Or is it something else?

“Okay. I will tell you my secret if you promise not to tell anyone else in the whole wide world.

My secret is … ‘I don’t have any secrets that I’m going to tell you.’

note: Does “www. something” stand for “whole wide world”?

double note: Diary companies really do need to improve the security features on their products. That little lock is pathetic.

http://humor-blogs.com/

Marks

 

 

 

Does a scratched limousine have stretch marks?

Does a scratched ship have berth marks?

note: if you comment on this blog will they be re:marks?

double note: I tell people I have been in a limousine, but it was only a school bus. I stretch the truth sometimes.

http://humor-blogs.com/

FUEL

 
 
 
 
 
 
Are renewable fuel resources called “re-troleum”?
 
 

 note: The Dutch are sitting on a gold mine with all those windmills. I bet they join OPEC soon.

 double note: I have a retro-fit when I think about how much I spent on gas a few months ago.

http://humor-blogs.com/

Bicycle Seats

 

Is it just my ass, or are bicycle seats extremely uncomfortable?

Has anyone improved the seat?     No way!    They make padded bicycle shorts instead!

I may be way off here, but isn’t that like making pajamas better instead of making beds better?

I’m just wondering.

 

 

 

 

note: Is Lance Armstrong a “spokesperson”?

double note: Are unicycle shorts unisex?

http://humor-blogs.com/

Googling

 

 

 

Have you ever “Googled” your name?

No, me neither.

note: I’m sure if I did, there would be a bunch of cool stuff about … a bunch of people with the same name as mine, people with similar names minus a letter or two, people with my name reversed, or obituaries about dead people.

double note: you are just way out of luck if your last name is Google: maybe there is something on page … a billion.

http://humor-blogs.com/

Neighbours

 

 

The little house next to mine has been rented again.

A moving van came and unloaded a bunch of stuff. I couldn’t see too much from my front window, that I was standing at anyway.

I saw a little bit more from my bathroom window; but I started to cramp up from standing on the toilet, hunching over to see out the window, and twisting my neck at an extreme angle.

Most things were in boxes anyway. Why aren’t there see through boxes? It would make it easier to see what’s in them.

After everyone left, I walked over to the house because I had something to do over that way for some reason. They had already started to unpack; at least the curtains anyway.
The curtains are the right size and pretty thick; I couldn’t see anything else.

I hope the new neighbours are better than the last ones: they were a bit nosey.

 

 

 

note: I’m turning in to my mother.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Rain

 

When I’m out in the rain without an umbrella, I like to walk normally and pretend it’s not raining.

While others do the “panicky hunched over in a half-run” maneuver, I calmly walk upright as if the rain has no affect on me.

I feel a bit more dignified doing this.

I also get completely soaked; but dignity has its price.

 

note: anything that can stop a baseball game is fine with me.

double note: planetross is not anti-pro-baseball.

triple note: the above festival goer in Tokyo is trash.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Puddles

 

 

Is driving through puddles in a car just a natural progression from jumping in puddles as a kid?

It must be very anti-climatic at the wheelchair stage.

note: sidewalk tsunami victim in the rear-view mirror! hee hee!

double note: I think the unseasonable raininess here has precipitated this idea (and the next one).

http://humor-blogs.com/

The White Rabbit

 

When you see a white rabbit, it’s usually just a white rabbit.

Don’t be thinking you are Alice in Wonderland or in The Matrix or something.

 

note: If you see a white rabbit flying an iron, well that’s a different story all together.

 

double note: I’m waiting for “Jefferson Wormhole Technology” to come out with a new Cd. 

http://humor-blogs.com/