Category Archives: comedy

Meta 3 +1 Speaking

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I don’t like speaking metaphorically

… but metaphorically thinking out loud is okay.

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note: caterpillars and butterflies are the same thing metamorphically speaking.

double note: a maze is pathillogical.

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Things I’ve Seen With My Own 2 Eyes #10: battery operated batteries!!!

Can You Dig It?

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Shoveling snow is like gardening … sometimes a  bumper crops up.

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note: I’m glad you have a new laptop Tony.

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Things I’ve Seen With My Own 2 Eyes # 9:

snow-blindness: … I think you can see that.

A Word To The Not So Wise

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What’s the opposite of “the opposite“?

… “the same“?

That just doesn’t make sense; how can it be the same word?

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note: I’m not intelligent … I’m outelligent
… but I’m not sure what that means really.

double note: I put my fingers in the jar … pure insanity!!!

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Things I’ve Seen With My Own Eyes #8:      most of my nose.

A Belittle Belated For Christmas

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Sure, the 3 Wise Men were on to something,

… but those 3 Little Kittens weren’t too shabby either!

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note: I thought I put on my winter mittens … but they were really intermittens.

double note: I hope everyone had a good Christmas, except for Tony … who I hope is enjoying a good holiday.

triple note: when you are wearing 2 different socks, it’s the same as wearing one different sock really.

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Things I’ve Seen With My Own Two Eyes #7:    Goldfish walking in my kitchen … or maybe they were Silverfish.
I’m never sure about precious metals … and fish.

Waiting

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When I wait for a line of cars to go by before I can pull out on to the road

… the last one always seems the slowest.

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note: when I’m waiting for something bad … it usually happens right away.

double note: people who fly first class experience waitlessness.

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Things I’ve Seen With My Own Two Eyes #6: someone pulling out a ketchup bottle from their coat at a fancy restaurant.

Banan Apeel

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It’s actually quite difficult to slip on a banana peel.

I never find one in my size

… or the right occasion.

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note: if you slip on a banana peel, do you do the banana splits?

double note: slipping on something more uncomfortable … sounds like work … or work related clothing.

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Things I’ve Seen With My Own Two Eyes #5:     Invisible Ink … maybe.

Fueling Around

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Fossil fuels going bone dry?

… sounds like a renewable resource to me!

… or a viscous circle.

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note: in 650 million years I’m sure whatever I’ve become will be very
expensive at a gas station.

double note: if I lived for 650 millions years I might win the lottery!
… hopefully not on the last day.

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Things I’ve Seen With My Own Two Eyes #3:

peripheral visions straight ahead.

Air Transport

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Do you know what security x-ray technicians at airports can’t see?

Inflated balloons in luggage.

I’m going to hide something in one next time.

… they probably won’t be able to see that either!

I could be wrong; I usually am.

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note: I brought this balloon back from Canada in my backpack.

         security x-ray technician: Why are you carrying an empty backpack?

        me: hee hee!

double note: why this balloon? … my sister thought it was a planetross
thing … and saved it for me for 4 years.
My family knows me too well.

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Things I’ve Seen With My Own Two Eyes #2:
reading glasses approaching.

Aside

.  Anti-social butterflies are margarinalized usually. . note: apologies for disappearing, but it makes reappearing so much easier … for some reason. double note: nothing bad happened to me; it was just a break … not a breakdown. … I … Continue reading

Any Final Requestions?

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Someone left me something in their Will,

but I don’t understand what it is.

It’s an

incoheritance.

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note: where there is a Will there is a Wake sometimes.

double note: no one died, I just made this up.
… I do that sometimes here and there.

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what I’m listening to now #60: Brendan Benson‘s “Tiny Spark“.