It’s actually quite difficult to slip on a banana peel.
I never find one in my size
… or the right occasion.
note: if you slip on a banana peel, do you do the banana splits?
double note: slipping on something more uncomfortable … sounds like work … or work related clothing.
Things I’ve Seen With My Own Two Eyes #5: Invisible Ink … maybe.
Posted in comedy, fashion, funny, humor, language, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, wordplay, wordplay, words
Tagged Banana Splits, bananas, invisible ink is everywhere!!!, slipping on banana peels, slipping on something more comfortable, the right occasion
If humans only had 4 digits on their hands and feet,
– metric would be just as confusing as the imperial system.– nail polish would last longer.
– no one would be giving anyone the middle finger.
-sign language might have less words.-ape hands would look so weird.
-base 8 would be pretty standard.
-cartoon characters would probably only have 3 fingers.
-Agatha Christie may have written “ 8 Little Indians“.
– one of those little piggies either would not be going to market or not going wee wee wee all the way home.
… and would we be saying …
Four Finger Discount.
double note: having your finger cut off in the Yakuza would probably mean more too!
Today was like a bananaless banana split.
Posted in comedy, funny, humor, language, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged 4 digits, 4 finger discount, 8 Little Indians, Agatha Christie, ape hands ... and feet, Banana Splits, bananaless as a hungry monkey, Base 8, cartoon characters, fingers, hang 8, high 4, humor, imperial system, metric, Mickey Mouse, nail polish, one less little piggy, sign language, the middle finger, the space bar, toes, yakuza
Here is a little video Kelly Pettit and I made.
It’s a mixture of the “ Really Bad Things” series with a bunch of new ones thrown in too!
note: a very very very very special “ thank you” to who did all the work on this one: director, producer, cinematographer, sound engineer, and most especially editor. I really couldn’t have done this with out his expertise in things I know nothing about. Kelly Pettit
He also carried half the pool table around with me looking silly for a few hours.
double note: I should have smiled more in this video.
triple note: , Really Bad Things , and More Really Bad Things are still being bad. Still More Really Bad Things
notes to myself #10
When you are 9 years old do not do Morris’ paper route for him. He’s not going to pay you; and him and his dad are douche b … oh! … you don’t know those words yet! … they are jerks.
Posted in comedy, funny, health, humor, Japan, language, life, medical, movies, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged a doctor's bill and ted's excellent adventure, a half full body cast of thousands, acting lessons, air con, air concussions, ambulanced boils, ambulances, amphetamineral water, amphetamines, amputations, an esophagust of wind, Are you feeling lucky today ... Punk?, Are you feeling lucky today punctured lungs, arthritis, athlete's foot, athlete's foot in mouth disease, B flat, B flatulency, backward flips, bad kidneys, bad kidnieces and nephews, banana split ends, Banana Splits, barbituaties, baritone deficits, baritones, beavis and butthead, beavis and buttheadaches, Ben Hernias, Ben Hur, bend over, bend overdose, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, black eye tests, black eyes, blisterfried veggies, blisters, body casts, born again Christians, bowlegged, boycotts, bridges, broken backs, broken backwards flips, bullwhiplash, bullwhips, burst blood vessels, cab drivers, cast of thousands, catastrophe, catastrophever, cemetary plot summaries, cemetary plots, chip dip, chipdiptheria, circumcisions, cold soaring eagles, cold sores, collar bones, colon cancer, concussions, constipation, cookie jars, cookie jarthritis, Cowboys, cowlicks, Crazy Horse, Crazy Horse throats, crowbarbituates, crowbars, cupcakes, cysts, DEF CON, DEF CONstipation, deficits, dermatologists, desklamps, desklamputations, despair, desparalysis, diabetes, diptheria, discographies, dislocated shoulder, dislocated shouldermatologists, do or diabetes, do or die, doctor's bills, drum kits, egg shells shellshock, egg shellshock, elbow macaroni, emus, emutilations, enemas, esophagus, eulogies, eulogy strings, eye testicles, eye tests, fecal material, fecal material witness, fever, flatulency, floozies, flying saucercumcisions, flying saucers, foot in mouth disease, freemen, full body search parties, full body searches, funerals, G-strings, geriactric wards, graveyard sales, graveyards, gravy stains, Gunma, gust of wind, hamstrings, hangnail guns, hangnails, hangten, hangtenemas, Harry Potter, Harry Potter's fields, headaches, hemofiliac, hemofiliacting lessons, hernias, hiccupcakes, hiccups, hoarse throats, humor, internal organic food, internal organs, Ivy league schools, Japan, kelly pettit, kellypettit.com, killer bees, lanced boils, lean cuisine, leg warmers, leprosy, leprosy saws, lobotomeasles, lobotomies, madcow disease, madcowboycotts, madcowlicks, magic mushroomatism, magic mushrooms, material witness, measles, meningitis, mineral water, molemen, molemeningitis, more really bad things, Morgan Freeman, morgues, Morgues and Freeman, mutilations, nail gums, nieces and nephews, Numata, obscene phone caller bones, obscene phone callers, obscure, obscurvy, organic food, overdose, painkiller bees, painkillers, pancreatic cancer, paralysis, pigeon toe trucks, pigeon toes, planetross, planetrossities, playing pool in a rice field, playing with words, plot summaries, poison ivy, poison ivy league schools, pots and pancreatic cancer, pots and pans, potter's fields, psoriacysts, psoriasis, pulled hamstring quartets, punctured eardrum kits, punctured eardrums, punctured lungs, rainbowleggeds, rainbows, really bad things, rheumatism, rice fields, rice paddies, rivers, salmonella, scab drivers, scabs, scurvy, search parties, seasickness, see saws, semi colon cancer, semi-colons, severed leg warmers, severed legs, shallow graves, shallow gravy stains, sheep skin, sheep skin grafts, shrines, side salads, skin grafts, slipped discographies, slipped discs, smoked salmon, smoked salmonella, soaring eagles, spinal tap dancing, spinal taps, spleen cuisine, spleens, split ends, starburst, starburst blood vessels, still more really bad things, stillborn, stillborn again Christians, stir fried vegies, Stitch and Lilo, stitches, stitches and a few lilos, string quartet, stubbed toaster ovens, stubbed toes, suicide, suicide salads, swine floozies, swine flu, tap dancing, tape worm holes, tapeworms, tennis elbow, tennis elbow macaroni, testicles, third degree burns, Thurston Howell the 3rd, Thurston Howell the Third degree burns, toaster ovens, Tom and Jerriactric wards, Tom and Jerry, tone deaf, tonsilitis, tow trucks, trachiotomeandering, trachiotomeasles, trachiotomy, traumatadors, turberculosis, typhoonerals, typhoons, videos, vitamin C, vitamin seasickness, whiplash, wonton, wontonsilitis, wordplay, words, wormholes, yard sales, youtube, youtuberculosis