Monthly Archives: October 2010

Shappy Shalloween!

In case I don’t get on here again for a few days:

Have a very Merry Halloween.

Be safe; don’t eat apples without cutting them into small chunks; watch out for firecrackers being put into your Halloween sack; stay away from Roman Candles; wear reflective clothing; maintain the buddy system;  don’t enter strange people’s houses; loot as much candy as you possibly can!

They are my everyday rules, but I thought they might come in handy now.

 

note: I treat sometimes … but never trickle.

double note: I think I have been Halloweaned by now.

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Today #72

Today was just just another day. It was touch and go for a while.

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The Solitary Tango

 

I don’t live alone!

I live with the consequences.

 

note: now that I think about it … I’ve only ever lived with a guy named Shannon Burger when I was 21!  He paid his half of the rent, so that was okay.

double note: people end up living with so many things … and they don’t ever pay their share of the rent!! … people should get rid of those things!

triple note: photo taken by Mr. Pettit. He has a new camera: I was an easy target.

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Today #71

Today unfolded like a nice warm blanket.

Fall Down … Winter To Go

There is a road that connects the back-of-beyond on one side of the city I live in to the back-of-beyond on the otherside of the city I live in.

I guess it’s for people who don’t like the front-of-beyond … or like narrow windy roads … or scenery.

In the Fall, when the leaves are changing colors, it’s a regular tourist attraction.

People seem to be disappointed with pine trees usually.

It’s not their season I guess.

 

note: no one ever mentions the trees … always the leaves. I think I know how milk feels in the cereal bowl now.

double note: my back has decided to go out on me. If I don’t post for a few days or leave comments, it’s nothing personal.
(it wasn’t that 3 Person Value Set … if that’s what you’re thinking)

triple note: I’m not looking for sympathy with that last note … I know it’s between “shit” and “syphilis” in the dictionary … like my father used to say.

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Today #70

Today was a Mr. T. prediction: pain.

Value

 

Why is there never a single patron discount at FastFood places?
It’s always a “Family Value Set” or “Party Pack” that only groups can enjoy.

Sure, there are individual sets … and sometimes burger or chicken promotions, but everyone can still take advantage of those.

I’ll continue to occupy boothseats by myself until something is done about this.

 

note: I bought a “Big Mac Set” and another Big Mac from the local McDonald’s for 970 yen … and then noticed there was a “3 Person Value Set” for 1,000 yen. I felt kind of ripped off.

My Order: 2 Big Macs, medium fries, medium drink.
3 Person Value Set: Big Mac, Teriyaki McBurger, hamburger, chicken McNuggets, 2 medium fries, 3 small drinks. (above photo)

double note:  in protest, yesterday I went to McDonald’s and ordered that stupid 3 Person Value Set, sat down with my stupid 2 trays, and stupidly ate it all.
… then I waddled home and groaned a lot. 

triple note: I guess I could have gone with someone and split the “3 Person Value Set” for a savings, but I didn’t think I could convince Mr. Pettit to eat that stinky Teriyaki McBurger.

quadruple note:Eating alone? … that’s half-price then.

quintuple note: sometimes “I Am The Pig”

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Today #69

I smelled the todaisies today … or whatever those flowers are called.

Cardboard Display People: Revisited

          

I don’t have children.
Never did.
I can’t watch them grow up.

I don’t usually take photos of my students.
Never did.
I don’t see too much change in them from week to week.

… But the adorable cardboard cutout girl, Nozomi Ohashi, has come to visit again!

Cardboard cutout children just grow up so fast, don’t they?

 

note: I bet if she had some pituitary gland abnormality, and grew like crazy, she would lose this lucrative contract.
… Hey! cardboard is expensive!!!

double note: the original post from last year is here.

triple note: I never did get the cardboard cutout last year. I “rock, paper, and scissored” for her, with some other person who wanted her, and won; but the other guy was just a little bit too disappointed … so I gave it to him. What a weirdo!

quadruple note: this year I’m getting her for sure!

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Today #68

Today at work was like a morgue, but at least there were handles on my side.

Semi-Probably

 

Never say die … when you have two die.

It’s a semi-proverb.

 

note: I semi-profess I semi-promised to semi-provide semi-protection to the semi-problematic semi-prophetic semi- protégé from semi-promiscuous semi-professional semi-prostitutes’ semi-projectile semi-prophelactics.

double note: I don’t think I used any semi-pronouns in that first note.

triple note:I semi-pronounce you man and wife.” hee hee!

quadruple note: is a “semi-prosthesis” a spare truck tire?

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Today #67

I’m todaydreaming.

Smoping Around

 

I smoke a pack of cigarettes everyday.

I don’t know how many I don’t smoke,

… but it’s probably quite a few.

 

Surgeon General’s note: I wanted to write novels, but the warnings on cigarette packages was the only thing I was good at.

note: I bet the Surgeon General doesn’t really write those notes. False Advertising!!

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Today #66

Today I thought about the unfairy godmother that seems to be alive and well … and messing with all sorts of people who aren’t me.

Memory Glands

 

I don’t remember anything as if it happened only yesterday

… unless it happened yesterday.

 

note: remembering something as if it happened only yesterday could cause “timeline-ups“.

double note: memories out of order are inconsecutivequential.

triple note: my memories are out of order: try back later.

quadruple note: I can’t pronounce that made-up word in the second note very well … just thought you should know.

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Today #65

Today I was like an old movie … not very specially effective.

Tree Of Knowledge

 

I ate a banana from the Tree of Knowledge.

Afterwards I thought, “That wasn’t the Tree of Knowledge.”

So I guess it must have been.

 

note: I’ll still try strawberry and pineapple trees next.

double note: maybe bananas grow on the “Tree of Just a Little Bit of Knowledge“?

triple note: obviously the persimmon tree in the photo isn’t the Tree of Knowledge … or maybe the owners just don’t eat persimmons … or it is the Tree of Knowledge and it’s just a really knowledgable thing to do to keep other people from eating that fruit!
Either way or the other … it looks kind of cool.

quadruple note: Thanks to everyone that voted for me over at Tacky Raccoons! … I smell another t-shirt … or I will after I’ve worn it for a while! hee hee!

quintuple note: I’m not thinking about adding a weekly feature called “Japan for Idiots“. What do you not think about that?

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Today # 64

Light years seem light because they are so far away. The years closer to me seem heavier for some reason. (I thought of that today, so it kind of fits)

Construction Criticism

The skyscapers have finished their work.

It’s just the landscapers that are holding up this project.

 

note: I’m a finalist in a “one liner“contest over at Tacky Raccoons. If you have a spare moment, could you click the link here and vote for planetross … or the other guy, Wheels.

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Today #63

Today is just another day, but when it comes down to it … most people would like just another day everyday.