BBQ & A

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Barbecues are like school

… some assembly required.

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note: propane BBQs are not sold in Japan … as far as I know, except on American Armed Forces Bases.
I rarely say it … and never during hockey games, but “God Bless the U.S.A.“

double note: I can count on 3 fingers how many propane BBQs are in this city of 50,000 people: 2 at my place and one over at Mr. Pettit‘s.

triple note: sometimes it’s good to know base people.

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what I’m listening to now #39: Ben Folds “Rockin’ The Suburbs” … because there’s a BBQ in the video … and I like the song.

Curiously Useless

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My friend tells me curious facts.
The latest:
“A peanut has 10 calories.”

This fact may seem harmless enough.
A throw away fact for most people: in one ear and out the other.

… but for me, it pops up in my head during the day and has me questioning …

“is that a single peanut or the 2 peanut parts in a single shell?”
“what kind of peanut: an African peanut or a European peanut?”
“a plain, raw, boiled, dry roasted, or oil roasted peanut?”
“what kind of peanuts do I eat? … I don’t think I’ve eaten a boiled one before. I wonder what they taste like? … who eats those ones?”
“Why is that Charlie Brown comic strip called Peanuts?”
“Why are Volkswagen Beetles called peanuts?”
“Peanuts don’t really look like peas. Who named them?”
“Do they use the same type of peanuts in “smoothy” and “crunchy” peanut butter? … or are there smoothy and crunchy peanuts?”

It’s kind of a useless fact:
I’m never going to eat “a” peanut
… my friend might as well tell me how many calories are in a single cow!

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note: 513,751 calories supposedly.

double note: sorry, the photo has nothing to do with the post … except there is a post in the photo and a photo in the post. hee hee!

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what I’m listening to now #30: The Lumineers “Ho Hey“

To Owe One Three

Happy New Year Everyone!

Apologies for disappearing in the latter half of 2012.
Nothing bad happened; just lack of motivation.
The motivation was motivacationing I guess.

… but this is a new year!
… anything could happen!

January first!
… at least that’s how the months on my calendars usually go.

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note: I think I’ll just scrap the “notes” and “Today” stuff at the end of these blogs … until I’m back into the swing of things.

double note: it says “a prize in every box” up in the right hand corner of the box. I should have written it bigger … I told you I’m a bit rusty!

Jockey Shorts: Other People Longs

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I guess jockeys don’t have a happy place.

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note: I may be back … or just behind where I will be in the future.

double note: thank you for all the comments.
I’m alive and well.
I hope everyone is healthy and happy, if not wealthy and wise … and still pounding out awesome blog material.

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Today #379

Today I didn’t have any kind of revelation … just an ordinary popsiclation.

Lazy Snowman

 

I thought a “planking” snowman might be funny
… and I had nothing else to do today.

But …

later in the day, Mr. Pettit  came by and found this a bit disturbing for some reason: maybe he doesn’t like orange.

So I fixed it up,

… after he left.

Sundays are pretty productive around here.

 

note: “People know that nothing rhymes with orange
          probably from the day that they are bornge“

double note: people are doing weird things out there to entertain themselves.

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Today #338

Today was violently mellow … or disturbingly peaceful.

 

 

Badvertising

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“Do you know that poster … ?” Mr. Pettit  asked.

“Yes” I replied without hesitation, knowing what he was talking about without any more information required.

“Why don’t you … ?”

“I will.”

We are mind readers sometimes … or no-mind readers … or something like that.

 

note: if you hang out with someone long enough, there’s not too much noose you haven’t heard before.

double note: no noose is good noose.

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Today #332

Today while sitting in an outdoor hotspring bath, I was hoping the big pile of snow on the roof, that was hanging way over the edge, would slide off while I was there.
… and you know what? … it did!

Not Only Elephants

 

How many straws are necessary to break your back?
How many buttons have to be pushed?
Where is the line drawn in the sand?
Water boils at  100 °C (212 °F) … when do you boil?

If you wake up in the morning with a straw, button, and a sandy line embedded in your skull, I may have stopped by.

I’m probably at home cooking with the boiling water.

 

note: I don’t hold grudges; I carry them in my pockets.

double note: I’m all about live and let live, but that doesn’t mean I’m forgetful.

triple note: this post has no relevance to things happening now. I’m just reminiscing … or reminisinging things.  hee hee!

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Today #271

Today I realized that I do remember most people in a positive way … and realized that my best friend‘s video needed to be posted again over here.

Friends And Underwear

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If fair-weather friends are around briefly,

real friends must be around longjohnly.

I’m not sure what kind of friends are around nudely,

… but I’m either going to like them a lot … or not at all!

 

note: “Hey Baby! … you really should put some clothes on … like a hat, socks, or maybe a real short scarf.” (sexy masculine hee hee!)

double note: I can’t remember the last time I was nude. Oh! wait a minute! … yes I can. Nevermind.

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Today #269

Today the new teacher said she’d left a Mr. Big chocolate bar on my desk: it was a miniature Mr. Big.
I thought my desk had gotten really big before I walked 3 feet closer.
It was pretty yummy … but they shouldn’t be allowed to do that anyway.

Jarred Memories … Or Memories In Jars

 

A friend in High School had a set of felt pens: you could only see the ink using a blacklight.

Over a few years he covered every inch of his bedroom with writing, doodles, and other stuff: the walls, ceiling, floor, furniture, stereo speakers, and even the inside of drawers. Nothing remained untouched.

It was pretty cool at the time.

I don’t think his parents ever knew about it.

I saw him a few years ago and asked him about his old bedroom.

“It’s all still there, but I don’t know what most of it means anymore.“

That’s how I feel about my hometown.

 

note: sure you can never go home, but people seem to write about the experience a lot of the time anyway.

double note: I like when people sum things up for me unintentionally.

triple note: it took me a long time to realize that something good came out of my hometown: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cowichan_knitting

… other than me of course. hee hee!

quadruple note: I haven’t forgotten anything about growing up, … I’ve just misplaced a lot of things for long periods of time.

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Today #160

Today an 8 year old student puked in my classroom. I don’t usually have that affect on people … or a stained smelly carpet.
(I always ask people what they ate as I clean up their vomit: it’s an anti-gag reflex reflex for some reason)

Key Balls And Chains

 

I’ve acquired quite a few key chains in the last 10 years or so.

Most of them were presents from friends or students who went on holidays: Saipan, New Zealand, Australia, other places in Japan, and Hawaii seem to be popular destinations for Japanese people for some reason.

I’ve bought a few as keepsakes from places I’ve visited: the “No Stress” one from Morro de São Paulo, Brazil supposedly floats, while the real piranha one would fall apart if you stuck it in your pocket, but it’s cool anyway.

Others just seem to have appeared magically with bottles of whiskey.

For me, the only problem with having so many keychains is … I don’t use keychains.

My keys are in the top left of the photo.

 

note: I should open a keychainstore.

double note: people seem to give me a lot of gloves as well, … but never those cool doctor ones.

triple note: the only person I know with an authentic keychain is Mr. Pettit.

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Today #155

Today I read that Cindy Lauper was on tour in Japan when the earthquake/tsunami/nuclear reactor stuff was happening … and she just kept on touring for another week. She goes to the head of the class.