Monthly Archives: August 2009

Creative Writhing: The Taking of Orders Part 1

Somewhere in the American Unorganized Territory 1850

 

The dog days of winter.
It was so cold I had to start a fire to warm up my wood before I could start a fire.
I was sitting at my kitchen table drinking coffee from my only cup; I’d heard having more than one cup would keep me awake at night. Being awake in the daytime was bad enough these days.

Looking out the window I saw a figure coming out of the horizon vertically.
It was Rankin Order walking in the snow away from the distance toward the cabin. He must have burnt all his britches cause he was in his underwear.

I’d recognize him in any wear anywhere.

He was tough as snails and as cruel as a cucumber. He was rough like a sanded table top with sand on it. He was as hard as a soft boiled egg cooked for too long. If he hit you, you’d squeal like a stuffed pig and probably run around like a cow with its head cut off.
I’m sure walking a smile in his boots would produce a frown or a sneer as I can tell.

He was Rankin to most, but to those close to him, he was just Rank.

He’d always been Rank to me; I was his brother.

As he came closer to the cabin, he called “Justin! You in there?

I answered “no“, but that didn’t fool him.

When I opened the door I asked, “What happened to you?

Got ambushed” was his reply.

By who?” tumbled out of my mouth.

More like ‘By what?’    By bushes!

 

This may sound strange, but I didn’t disbelieve him for a second.

 

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In My Dreams … #8

my next house

 

In my dreams  I visit a world of violent earthquakes that are followed by amazing snowfalls.

I think it’s called “Paperweightia”.

  

note: photo taken in one of the DisneySea sections.

double note: #1  and #2  and #3  and #4  and #5  and #6  and #7  are still slumbering along.

triple note: “My Most Newest New Experiment” has just started. It’s up there in the header along with the other ones.
I’ve actually started 2 new experiments, but I’ll hold off on the other one for a while: I don’t want to get Tony  too excited. 

 

 

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My Fanta”sizing” Is Extra Large El Grande!

I ain't never growing up!

 

I’m a hunter and gatherer of wool.

 

note: flower added by Mariko.

double note: How old do you have to be before you can’t say what you want to be when you grow up?

triple note: I know “Cyclops” isn’t politically correct, but “one eyed monster” is misinterpreted as something else these days.

quadruple note: Can you be misquoted if you speak sign language?

quintuple note: Pirates don’t seem to be very limber.

sextuple note: watching kids coloring something is better than … 

septuple note: I may have put on 4 entries tonight … if you are in to that sort of thing.

 

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Looking On A Less Than Darker Side

It will kick your ass ... in a while

 

 

note:  it’s $50 to fix … and imagination is free … so I’m going with the latter.

double note: I wish my side mirror would break so I wouldn’t have to look at it though.

triple note: looking back while driving forward is like reviewing stuff from a different angle. 

quadruple note: “I’ve been there! I know what I saw!”

 

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Paying For Sex

I'm buying a camper and will see what the neighbours do!

 

I think all males pay for sex at some time in their life.

It’s perfectly natural and I don’t see why some people think this is such a horrible thing.

Personally I pay for sex regularly: sometimes 10 to 20 times a day.

 

Oh! …  did I say pay for sex?

… I meant pray for sex.

 

note: if praying is bad, then I’ll just wish.

 

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Inefficiency Expert

a deflated person with flated tires

 

I’m going to paint my house with a paintball gun

right after …

washing the van with a water pistol.

But first I have to wait until I’m finished flipping these pancakes with the slingshot.

 

note: My friend always wins at paintball … he uses clear paintballs with stealth technology. I don’t even know when I’m hit! … he just tells me. He’s pretty good at poker too; I don’t know half the rules he does!

double note: paint cannonballs would be awesome!

triple note: a water Gatling gun would probably just be a hose.

quadruple note: Singapore Slingshots would be a great drink!

quintuple note: peashooter snipers are underrated.

sextuple note: I had  third degree Indian burns for most of my childhood.

septuple note: I know “Indians” isn’t politically correct, but “First Nations People burns” or “Native American burns” just doesn’t sound right.

octuple note: I was missing a few cards as a kid, so I only know “49 pick up“.

nontuple note: Do you remember “Conkers“? It sucks in Japan … they actually eat chestnuts.

decuple note: I can make a game out of anything as long as you’re not big on rules: I’m unruly!

 

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Gag Reflexpectations

I've kept all my Ya Yas in ... forever!!!!!

 

Eternal Ecstasy … is a pretty big pill to swallow.

 

note: eternal anything must have an after taste in it somewhere.

double note: if you are eaten by a Raptor, does that classify as rapture?

triple note: “my ex Stacy was intense … but there was no joy”

quadruple note: I don’t know anyone called Stacy, I just made that up. … but if she’s got a Mom, I bet she’s got it going on! 

quintuple  note: the thing in the photo is just across from the other thing with the long snout I put on here.

 

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A Lifetime of Doodling

so this is where those stupid kids came from!

 

Someone has been doodling on my “Tabula rasa“!

 

note: I know if “nature” calls I will answer, but if “nurture” calls tell them I’m busy.

double note:blank rastas” are everywhere!
                                They should “dread Locke“!

triple note: I think all people are innately and inherently people when they are born. I could be wrong; I was told since birth I usually am.
hee hee!

 

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In My Dreams … #7

my next house

 

In my dreams  I can fly!

… but when I try to land anywhere something always tries to swat me.

It’s really annoying!

  

note: photo taken in one of the DisneySea sections.

double note: #1  and #2  and #3  and #4  and #5  and #6  are still slumbering along.

 

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Icarus

clouds cloud my judgement: I think I am solar powered.

 

On Sunday I was Icarus: I flew toward the sun and ended up in the ocean.

Actually, I escaped the cloudy skies of home and found a sunny day 2 hours away at the beach; but it sounds so much better when I throw in that Greek Mythology stuff.

… I think I have a Minotaur imprisoned between the screens and windows in the livingroom too!

 

note: I live on the wrong side of the clouds some days.

blue sky miner

 

double note: Daedalus should have made some wax parachutes to go with those wax wings.

triple note: I’m working on a little video, so I may not be around too much this week.

 

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