Monthly Archives: November 2010

By Proximity

 

I’m like a cactus, if you get too close to me I’ll burn you.

Oh! I’m a burning cactus!

… I thought you knew that.

 

note: an elephant cactus probably has cactusks.
Those elephant cactuses are badasses!!!

double note: if I encountered a “burning bush“, I’d look around for some kid with matches before I thought it was a visitation from an all knowing being.

triple note: do people eat cacti/cactuses? … they must be really hungry.

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Today #87

Today felt like a Monday with the wrong people in it.
… maybe Tuesday had something to do with it.

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Hoopla!

 

I don’t jump through hoops … people throw them at me.

… I’m not in the circus or anything!

 

note: seals clap like me … not the other way around.

double note: imitation is the best flattery … unless monkeys are involved.

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Today #86

Today was today …tomorrow is tomorrow … yesterday … well that shit’s gone!

My Cybernation Has Ended

My computer is finally fixed!

I’m quite happy:

… playing with the slinkey was getting pretty boring.

 

note: being offline wasn’t so bad … reading books, doing things outside, watching movies, cleaning the house, going places, trying to get a solid 30 degree celcius room temperature, watching socks grow, listening to bananas … but not taking their advice, wondering if I should buy stone furniture because it will last longer, debating if 6 dwarves would have been better than 7 … and which one wouldn’t make it into the lifeboat, and experiencing the exact moment when an icecube becomes more like a chunk or a shaving of ice.

double note: having no computer made me crazy!!! … I could be wrong; I usually am.

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Today # 85

I felt human today … but I guess I didn’t really have a choice about that.

Unplugged

I’m going all MTV and unplugging my computer for a few days.

Actually it’s going into the shop for repairs.

I hope they find something wrong with it … because if they don’t, that would mean there is something wrong with me!

I could be wrong; I usually am.

 

 

note: see you in a few days hopefully.

double note: if I had a child, I’d call him or her “Bongo Friendee“. … I guess that’s one of the reasons why I don’t have children.

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Today #84

Today should be the last day, for a while, that I have to put up with a computer working at about 20%.

 … except for the crap computer at work … I think that one will be crap forever.

Numb … ers

I guess this isn’t a “cardinal” sin … it’s an “ordinal” one.

 

 1st note: I don’t even know what those “primary, secondary, and tertiary ones” are called! … I’m sure I wouldn’t do well during secondary Jeopardy on that show … which I’ve forgotten the name of at the moment.

2nd note: long division with roman numerals is all latin to me.

3rd note: mi

4th note: fa

5th note: so

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Today #83

Today I walked into the “women’s” side of the onsen/hot bath by mistake. It was early, so I was the first in. I didn’t know my error until a half hour later, when I walked back inside after lounging in the outdoor pools and wondered why the old guy in the indoor bath had tits.
I thought she was in the wrong place until I checked the door, … then I quickly slapped on my underwear, crept next door with all my possessions bundled in my arms, and  suffered the stares of old men wondering why I was coming into the change room soaking wet in my underwear.

(I told the staff when I left, and they just laughed)

I Feel It In My Fingers, I Feel It In My Toes!

 

Why is a thumb sticking up seen as a good thing … in some countries?
Why is the middle finger sticking up seen as a bad thing … in some countries?

It seems all individual fingers … and different combinations of the 5 available fingers … and combinations of individual fingers, from both hands, have different meanings to people in different countries.

Is there somewhere that uses toe language?

If not, I guess toes are meaningless.

 

note: apologies for the monkey sitting on an example of a non-renewable resource in the above photo.

double note: sticks and stones may break my bones, but the flaming well sharpened dictionary full of words sitting in that archer’s bow scares me too!

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Today #82

I don’t think I did any good deeds today.
… no badges for me, I guess.
There’s always tomorrow!

Stars

 

When I look up at the night sky, I think …
 “People don’t draw stars very accurately.”

 

note: I would wonder “Why am I here?” when I look at the stars, but I’m sure enough other people do that “I wonder why planetross is here?” stuff already. hee hee!

 double note: if everyone in the world did this, I may start to feel a bit paranoid.

triple note: I only feel paranoid when I’ve had a few drinks: I’m imparanoid then.

quadruple note: paranoid people are parannoying.

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Today #81

On a nice sunny day like today, the stars are the furthest thing from my mind … and a lot further than the sun technically.
(I know the sun is a star, but nobody draws it star-shaped, so it doesn’t count)

Alienational Team Sports

I think there is an illegal alien on the soccer pitch.

 

note: it’s a Worlds Cup Team.

double note: “our National Anthem would kill every person on this planet, so we’ll just use the theme song to “The Jeffersons” if you don’t mind.

triple note: get it? … there are 12 on the field! … oh, nevermind.  It was funnier in my mind … earlier … for a moment.

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Today #80

Today was easier than KFC chicken … I mean greasier!

Animalosity

People don’t make food in the shapes of too many animals.

I guess people don’t really want to eat a piece of pork, beef, or chicken that has been molded into the shape of a pig, cow, or chicken. It’s unsettling or unappetizing for many.

But chocolate! … you can mold any animal shape out of that stuff and people will eat it and ask for seconds.

People must be chocolate desensitized.

I’m glad I wasn’t born a chocolate animal.

 

note:It looks like a human baby! I get the head!”

double note: the things in the photo are Butaman, pork filled dumpling thingeys.

triple note: I didn’t eat one of them this time. I tried the venison filled ones.
… there were no cute deer faces on them though.

quadruple note: I eat vegetables and fruit that are shaped like vegetables and fruit, … but that’s different.

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Today #79

Today was like a Pink Floyd concert. I think it was good, but I don’t really remember too much about it.

Warning Signs … And Labels

I think it’s great that other companies have finally started following the lead of the tobacco industry and have begun to put health warnings on their products.
… not your health warnings … more environmental health warnings.

Sniff … and use less of our product” is what I see when I look at these tissues.

I’m sure “Don’t Wipe” toilet paper, “Use a Sponge” paper towels, and “Forks are Better” disposable chopsticks will be released soon.

 

note: no one advertises “rainforest pencils” for some reason.

double note: looking at the paper on my cigarettes gives me the funny feeling that I’ve smoked a few trees in my lifetime.

triple note: Uncaring Lazy Bastard” plastic bags could be a hit!

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Today #78

It’s recycling day today! I wish there were more of them … because I love them so much and would make sure to have a lot of stuff for them everytime!