Semi-Probably

 

Never say die … when you have two die.

It’s a semi-proverb.

 

note: I semi-profess I semi-promised to semi-provide semi-protection to the semi-problematic semi-prophetic semi- protégé from semi-promiscuous semi-professional semi-prostitutes’ semi-projectile semi-prophelactics.

double note: I don’t think I used any semi-pronouns in that first note.

triple note: “I semi-pronounce you man and wife.” hee hee!

quadruple note: is a “semi-prosthesis” a spare truck tire?

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Today #67

I’m todaydreaming.

Day Breaks

 

Yesterday I spent a halfternoon cleaning and the other halfternoon shopping.

Having 2 halfternoons is very productive:

… it really breaks the day up.

 

note: havetonoons suck.

double note: I can’t wait for summer weekends … so I can do nothing for longer again.

triple note: I’m just a motivational listener.

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notes to myself #129

The older you get the less elders you have to listen to.

Midlife Crisis

 

I don’t think I’ve had a “midlife crisis” yet.

Does that mean I’m going to live a long time?

 

note: Do pregnant women have “midwife crisises“?

double note: Do prisoners have “midlife sentence crisises“?

triple note: The only midlife crisis I’ve had was when I had too many children to fit into the little plastic car while playing “Life“.

quadruple note:

“I must have made a wrong turn somewhere. I think we are in some kind of safari park. I knew we shouldn’t have bought this damn convertible!”

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Questions And Answers

“There are no stupid hypothetical questions; only stupid hypothetical answers.”
                                                        planetross

 

note: Can hypothetical questions be eliminated with hyposuction?

double note: Are hypothetical needles used on hypochondriacs?

triple note: Hypothermic needles are for cold shots, I assume.

quadruple note: Who actually looks for needles in haystacks?  I’m still trying to get struck by lightning!

quintuple note: “if” is the middle word in “life“, but it’s also the middle word in wife, shifty, and rift. It’s also almost the middle word in cauliflower too!

sextuple note: If you are dyslexic, is “if” the middle word in donutfilling, refill, and poolfilter?

septuple note: ask stupid hypothetical questions here .

octuple note: Isn’t “It’s a Wonderful Life” the best movie ever?

nonuple note: image from here, but not originally.

decuple note: I had to look up “nonuple” and “decuple“.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

No Free Lunch

I’m not looking for a “free lunch” out of life …

but second helpings and an extra dessert would be nice!

 

note: I think I have food poisoning.

double note: this is no time to diet!

triple note: “life is like lunch: there is a long nap afterwards.”

quadruple note: some days I think I’ve been over seasoned.

quintuple note: the spice of life sure isn’t oregano. It isn’t from Oregon either; although I hear it’s a nice place to live.

sextuple note:  photo from March 2007 in Argentina. It seems like a long time ago. (sad face)

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Sara n’ Mic (what’s this game about?)

 

Sara: I guess we’ll be going away for the holidays.

Mic: Boxing Day just seems to come earlier and earlier each year.

—————————————

Sara: What’s this game about?

Mic: I don’t know. I guess we’ll just have to open it up and find out.

——————————————————-

 

 

Sara: What did you say?

Mic: I said, right hand red!!!

Sara: Screw Life! This is better!!!

Mic: Let’s play naked!!!

 

The complete adventures of Sara n’ Mic: why are the gnomes outside?, why are we here?, what time is it?, the phone’s ringing,  who’s winning?  , and  what a great cast! are still collecting dust.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

A Little Bit More

 

 

I remember when the thing I wanted most in the world was to grow.

Only an inch; maybe a bit more.

I couldn’t wait. I wanted it now!

Pleasures couldn’t be consumated with out that extra little bit.

It wasn’t fair. Life had put a big obstacle in the path to my happiness.

I prayed nightly and measured daily; and when I least expected it, out of nowhere I gained that inch and achieved my goal:

tall enough to ride the rollercoaster!

 

 

 

 

 

note: P.N.E. Vancouver 1972. 5 times!!!!!

double note: I guess I have to worry about age restrictions next.

triple note: if I’d put up a picture of a rollercoaster, that would have given the game away.

http://humor-blogs.com/

Bent

 

 

There must be something good that happens when we die, because …

just like plants stretching and moving toward the sunlight, old people seem to be bending and moving toward the ground.

note: I could be wrong; I usually am.

double note: Are old people bent over or are they just falling down very slowly?

I don’t want to put this one under humor for some reason.