Confession Time

 I was the 5th Horseman of the Apocalypse.

I quit the group once they started getting all Emo … and Goth … and stuff.

 

note: shouldn’t it be the “4 Horsepeople of the Apocalypse” these days. I always feel better when women are involved.

double note: my horse was called “Rainbow Ice Cream” … just thought you should know.

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Today #60

Today’s soundtrack is a constant drumroll … it’s like someone is expecting me do something!

Poor Taste Buds Sometimes

 

Why are there fences on 2 sections of this overpass?

A road runs under one section and the train tracks are under the other.

Oh!

nevermind.

 

note: sometimes the way out is difficult to get to.

double note: I guess they are splatter guards sort of … like those ones for frying bacon and sausages.

triple note: I’m not trying to be morbid … it comes naturally sometimes … like hair in the nose.

quadruple note: I’ve driven this road for 11 years and just noticed the fences recently. I’m slow sometimes … or I don’t think about those things very often … probably both.

quintuple note: they could have saved the money on the fences by just putting up a sign saying “You will only break your legs from this height“. I don’t know if it’s true, but hey! fences are expensive!

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notes to myself #93

You are not a “mope around” person … you’re more of an ” oh well and move on” person.

The Hearse

 

You just keep driving you!

 

note: Death drives a station wagon!

double note: Hearses seem to get a lot of body work.

triple note: from Wikipedia our friend:

The name derives from the Old French herce “rake, harrow”, describing the temporary framework on which candles were placed above the bier. This also held banners and armorial bearings and other heraldic devices. Verses or epitaphs were often attached to the hearse. Applied to vehicles since the 17th century.

Check out Wikipedia for more info on hearses here. It’s quite interesting actually. I’m not macabre or from any other Scottish Clan.

quadruple note: apologies for putting on two car related entries in a row. Sometimes that’s the way the ball crumbles or the cookie bounces.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Bent

 

 

There must be something good that happens when we die, because …

just like plants stretching and moving toward the sunlight, old people seem to be bending and moving toward the ground.

note: I could be wrong; I usually am.

double note: Are old people bent over or are they just falling down very slowly?

I don’t want to put this one under humor for some reason.

Insurance

 

I have insurance: car health, home,… but I’ve never used them.

It’s nice to know I’m protected and I’m glad I’ve never had to make a claim, but I also feel like these insurance companies have screwed me somehow.

On flight insurance, I always make an ex-girlfriend the beneficiary. She always said she wished I were dead. The financial payout she’d receive if that happened, while I was flying, would just be an extra bonus for her.

I’m nice like that.

My 13 nieces and nephews are the beneficiaries in my Will.

They know this.

It’s a small insurance policy for me. I figure they’ll be nicer to me in my old age if they know there is money involved.

One nephew always asks me what his “share” is at the moment. He looks at me like I’m a “stock”: working hard – stock goes up ; travelling – stock goes down.

My nieces and nephews also know that if I die under mysterious circumstances, all my money goes to my ex-girlfriend.

That’s my true insurance policy.

I love my nieces and nephews, but I don’t trust them that much.

 

note: if my nieces and nephews make a deal with the ex-girlfriend, I’m in trouble.