Rambo

 

“Rambo” in Japanese means “violence”.

“Rocky” in Japanese just means the boxer guy in all those movies. 

 

note: words are only meaningful if you know what they mean, otherwise they are just panhandlers holding out their hands to people with their eyes shut.

double note: I was going to say “blind person“, but thought that might not be political correct. I don’t even call that “can’t see spot” in a car while driving a “blindspot” anymore. I must be a political activist now!

triple note: why are Chinese characters cool tattoo material, but Hebrew characters, Russian character, Korean character, …  … not so popular?

quadruple note: I had to do a “… …” in that last note, sorry.

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Today #334

Today someone said “Cheese Hamburger“. I’m sure that was pretty common back in … before I was born!
(I’m glad I was born when I was, otherwise I’d probably sound weird.)

Verbatim

 

New Directions
Newdirections
Nudeerections
Nude Erections!

I’ve tried it out on people: “This company needs to find some ‘nude erections’.”

Nobody even flinches when I say that fast.

 

note: I guess naked statues are nude erections.

double note: I read outloud in my head usually, but I had to double check this one reading outloud outside my head for a change.

triple note: I thought there might be a textbook called “New Directions“, so I checked; … but I found something better! New Directions International!

quadruple note: I have nothing against the above linked religious organization. I just think they should have chosen a better name. Actually there are quite a few organizations called “New Directions” … I thought the invention of the compass kind of solved that dilemma.

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Today #169

Today was pretty sterile: it was counter reproductive.

A Novelty Piece

 

I have written this sentence only using words that appear in the dictionary.

It is not as hard as you think.

 

note: I may do a post using only words that appear in songs one day … or maybe movies.

double note: “I have designed my style pantomimes as white ink drawings on black backgrounds, so that man’s destiny appears as a thread lost in an endless labyrinth. I have tried to shed some gleams of light on the shadow of man startled by his anguish.”
Marcel Marceau

Stick to your day job pantomime boy!

triple note: I would never make fun of Harpo Marx.

quadruple note: childbirth must not be in the dictionary: too many contractions.

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Today #168

Today started out rough, but became smooth. It must have been the “sandpaper of time” at work.

Money Making Scheme #17

 

I’m going to sell mints called “Mo’ Mints“.

They will just be regular mints; but a slick ad campaign should be able to make them crazy popular.

 

POSSIBLE CATCH PHRASES:

“Make the Mo’ Mints last forever … don’t share them with anyone … and buy bulk.”

“I’ll do that … only for a Mo’ Mint.”

“Your father will be home Mo’ Mintarily… we better eat without him.”

“He went crazy for a Mo’ Mint.”

“I’ll do anything for a Mo’ Mint.”

“It was over in a Mo’ Mint.”
” That’s a long time!”

“It only took a Mo’ Mint for my son to do his homework.”

 

 If I can work it out with those heartburn people maybe there will be Mo’ MinTums!

 

note: oooo aaaah Precious Mo’ Mints video by The Three Degrees.

double note: I’m sure the premiere of this product will be a Mo’ Mintus occasion.

triple note: I only used 3 different brown pencil crayons to color those boxes. For the bottom one I just pushed down harder to achieve a different shade of brown. I wonder if other people know that you can do that?

quadruple note: Bono must be really super small to get “Stuck in a Mo’ Mint” … they are just regular sized mints. I’m sure the TV commercial people could make a giant one for him to get stuck in though.

quintuple note:  Money Making Scheme  #1 and #2 and #3 and #4 and #5 and #6 and #7  and #8  and #9  and #10  and #11  and# 12  and# 13 and #14  and #15  and #16  are still scheming.

sextuple note: I bet you thought I forgot about these Money Making Scheme things… or I forgot you thought about these … or something like that.

septuple note: on further research I find that there already are Momints. I’m sure Michael J. Fox read this blog and then went back to 2003 and usurped this great idea from me. I’m bummed out now and am feeling like I’m eating day old food … which isn’t bad as long as it’s been refrigerated properly.

octuple note: originality requires worms or birds or something.

nontuple note: being the first to be second is still only a red ribbon. (sad face)

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notes to myself #106

You make the right choice when you buy the U2 “Boy” album instead of The Romantic‘s “In Heat“.

Connections

 

It’s amazing how the mind works: millions of connections relaying, processing, and storing information.

One word can trigger a whole cascade of knowledge or feelings about a certain subject … or many different subjects loosely related or not related at all.

I guess songwriters try to include words in their songs that will stir up certain images for as many people as possible. 
… but sometimes a word in a song just becomes a trigger that makes me think of a certain song.

Is there a special song you think of when you hear the word “motoring“?

 

note: I’m just curious.

double note: I just wrote all that other crap to get to the question.

triple note: there might be few more entries before and after this one.

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notes to myself #86

You don’t like going to the doctor … try to pinpoint when and why this is the case.

The Video: Really Bad Things

 Here is a little video Kelly Pettit  and I made.
It’s a mixture of the “Really Bad Things” series with a bunch of new ones thrown in too!

 

 

 note: a very very very very special “thank you” to Kelly Pettit  who did all the work on this one: director, producer, cinematographer, sound engineer, and most especially editor. I really couldn’t have done this with out his expertise in things I know nothing about.
He also carried half the pool table around with me looking silly for a few hours.
Kelly rocks!!!!

double note: I should have smiled more in this video.

triple note: Really Bad Things, More Really Bad Things, and Still More Really Bad Things are still being bad.

 

notes to myself #10

When you are 9 years old do not do Morris’ paper route for him. He’s not going to pay you; and him and his dad are douche b … oh! … you don’t know those words yet! … they are jerks.

Money Making Scheme #12

 

I’m going to sell pickles shaped like toothpicks and call them “Tooth Pickles”!

Possible catch phrases could be:

“I think you’ve got something in your teeth. Would you like a Tooth Pickle?”

or

A little peckish
What the heckish!
Tooth Pickle!
Tooth Pickle!
Tooth Pickle!

or

“I’m not gerkin you around! or Takin’ the Mickle!
If it’s an edible toothpick, it’s gotta be a Tooth Pickle!”

 

note: “Tooth Pickles” are not to be confused with “Pickle Teeth“.

 

double note: I wish I had some stuck between my teeth right now!

 

triple note: Money Making Scheme #1 and #2 and #3 and #4 and #5 and #6 and #7  and #8  and #9  and #10  and #11  are still scheming.

quadruple note: Don’t these just keep getting better and better? or is it just me? I could be wrong; I usually am.

 

 http://humor-blogs.com/

Trigger Words #1

 

 

Do you know any words that when you hear them, they cause you to roll your eyeballs?

One of mine is: organic   ….   as in “organic food“.

I know what people mean when they say it, but how can one word have 2 definitions that contradict each other?

1. derived from a living organism.

2. food grown without pesticides or chemical fertilizer.

It doesn’t make sense to me.

Either almost everything I eat is organic, or almost nothing I eat is organic.

It can’t be both, but it is!

Either I am organic, or I am not organic.

It’s an oxymoron.

It’s like saying: sport

1. an active pastime, recreation, or game having a set form and rules.

2. an active pastime, recreation, or game having no set form or rules.

This word with 2 opposing definitions bothers me.

note: black pudding, blood sausage, liver, and kidney are probably the original organic foods.

double note: I wonder which definition organic chemists like?

triple note: Are organs at hockey arenas and churches “vital organs“?

quadruple note: Is organ music: 1) made with an organ?   2) made by an organism?  3) made by people not on drugs?

 

Forgetting Words

 

 

People who partially forget a word but still try to include a portion of it into a conversation are not fooling anyone.

For example, please refrain from using these utterances when speaking: alwaysthinktheyaresickiacs, firomaniacs, or spiderphobia.

These people should really open a word definitionary a little more often.

note: I thought of this while suffering from cantsleepnia.

http://humor-blogs.com/

Dictionaries

 

Dictionaries should change their format.

Instead of just listing words in alphabetical order followed by the definition, they should demonstrate what the words mean.

For example:

random – should appear randomly through out the dictionary.

quarantine – should appear on a page by itself. (maybe solitude, lonely, and segregate too)

invisible – should not appear at all.

apple – should appear in the tree and pie entry. ( core and seed should appear in the apple entry )

 

Where would you put the words?

 

note: “potpourri” should not be listed between potpie and potroast. That’s just wrong in my books.

 

 http://humor-blogs.com/