Tag Archives: word play

Money Making Scheme #12

save those trees!


I’m going to sell pickles shaped like toothpicks and call them “Tooth Pickles”!

Possible catch phrases could be:

I think you’ve got something in your teeth. Would you like a Tooth Pickle?


A little peckish
What the heckish!
Tooth Pickle!
Tooth Pickle!
Tooth Pickle!


I’m not gerkin you around! or Takin’ the Mickle!
If it’s an edible toothpick, it’s gotta be a Tooth Pickle!


note:Tooth Pickles” are not to be confused with “Pickle Teeth“.

see a dentist!


double note: I wish I had some stuck between my teeth right now!

I wish I had some stuck between my teeth right now!


triple note: Money Making Scheme #1 and #2 and #3 and #4 and #5 and #6 and #7  and #8  and #9  and #10  and #11  are still scheming.

quadruple note: Don’t these just keep getting better and better? or is it just me? I could be wrong; I usually am.



More Really Bad Things


These things would also be really bad:


A static Klingon

A venetian blind date

A key chainsaw massacre

A shadow nut

Pungi stickmen

A coffee mugging


Bowling pins and needles

A septic tank top

Poison dartboards

Strychnine ball games

Thurston Howell the 3rd degree burns


Asphalt lines


A needs reparachute

DEF CONstipation

Cemetary plot summaries

Pigeon toe trucks

A psoriacyst

An ad campaign in the ass

Lollygagging on lollipops

Rancid Vicious

Magic mushrheumatism

Being hungoverboard

Morning aftershaves

Athlete’s foot in mouth disease

Mad Cowboycotts

Gravy stainglass window shoplifters



Eulogy strings


note: I do have a “monk keychain after all”!

double note: enough of these ones for a while; my mind is turning into a bag of trickles.

triple note: Really Bad Things are still bad over here.





Before medicine and potions, people must not have had an “apothecary in the world”! 


note: Has there been an increase in people going into pharmacology since the Harry Potter books and movies came out? That Snape is such a role model.

double note: Are people on drugs getting apothecarried away?



1) Headless or lacking a clearly defined head.
2) Having no leader.

I was looking up ace in the dictionary, just because I was bored, and losing at solitaire.
I came across this word.
Does anybody use this anymore, outside of the scientific community?

Maybe I should start using it.

That woman was very acephalous: her body was great but her head left me lacking.

Can I speak to the manager, or is this an acephalous company?

I’m feeling very acephalousish today. I don’t know where my head is.

What Do They Call It?

Are they just:

Cows in Jersey?
Beans in Lima?
Bars in Nanaimo?
Nuts in Brazil?
Boots in Wellington?
Wings in Buffalo?
Hats in Panama?
Dragons on Komodo?
a Baked in Alaska?
Cigars to the Cubans?
Fries to the French?

Is it just:

Pepper in Cayenne?
Clamchowder in Boston?
Checkers in China?
Cake in the Black Forest?
Cheese in Edam?
a Mule in Moscow?
Goulash to the Hungarians?
Dressing to the Italians?
Duck in Peking?


Is it now called Bejing Duck?

Unrecognizable Words

I played Pictionary with a few friends.

One friend picked a card and said he didn’t know what the word was.

I looked at the word and said, ” You know what that is!”.

He said he didn’t.

I said the word to him, and bells started ringing in his head.

He said, “I’ve never seen that word written before!”

The word: Spatula


Why is it always A bunch of malarkey?It’s never
a pack of malarkey
a group of malarkey
a coven of malarkey
a chunk of malarkey
a thick slice of malarkey
an unruly crowd of malarkey
a mob of malarkey
a junta of malarkey
a triad of malarkey
a small gathering of malarkey
a congress of malarkey
a murder of malarkey
a pod of malarkey
a basket of malarkey
an assortment of malarkey

Always a bunch of malarkey

Wreaking Havoc

Wreaking: to inflict punishment, to take vengeance

Havoc: destruction, devastation, disorder

Together: wreaking havoc, to wreak havoc.

I have a theory why these words are always used together.

People were using them so infrequently, they decided to band together in the hope that they would be used more often.

It’s a case of survival of the fittest in the word world.