Testing 1, 2, … That’s It.

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I’m not a big fan of free samples.

If I’m going to sample something,
I want it to be the really expensive stuff!

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note: a trial size suit would be fine … if I’m arrested.

double note: I choose random stuff very carefully.

triple note: being a picky eater must involve actually picking fruits and vegetables off of whatever they grow on before showing up in supermarkets.
I could be wrong: I usually am.

quadruple note: scented toilet paper makes my nose run … it’s a vicious circle.

quintuple note: “3 square meals” probably means something different to toilet paper people.

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what I’m listening to now # 57: Walk off the Earth “Somebody That I Used To Know“.

The Future

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As a kid I almost never thought about the future.

Now that I’m older, I think about the future all the time:

… I always buy toilet paper, refill the ice cube trays, and never run out of gas.

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note: people who don’t invest in the future should probably invest now … or before now.

double note: an assist on this post to Mr. Pettit … for making me think beyond the ice cube trays.

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what I’m listening to now #43: nothing good.

Warning Signs … And Labels

I think it’s great that other companies have finally started following the lead of the tobacco industry and have begun to put health warnings on their products.
… not your health warnings … more environmental health warnings.

“Sniff … and use less of our product” is what I see when I look at these tissues.

I’m sure “Don’t Wipe” toilet paper, “Use a Sponge” paper towels, and “Forks are Better” disposable chopsticks will be released soon.

 

note: no one advertises “rainforest pencils” for some reason.

double note: looking at the paper on my cigarettes gives me the funny feeling that I’ve smoked a few trees in my lifetime.

triple note: “Uncaring Lazy Bastard” plastic bags could be a hit!

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Today #78

It’s recycling day today! I wish there were more of them … because I love them so much and would make sure to have a lot of stuff for them everytime!

On A Roll

 

I’m going out to get the paper.

I’ll be back on Monday.

 

note: hopefully I also find a few shirts that that other person doesn’t have yet.  hee hee!

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notes to myself #144

Pizza is good. … really good!

Shaving Cuts

 

 

Is the little piece of paper you put on a shaving cut called “skin tissue” or “scar tissue”?

note: It’s good for wiping your bum too.

http://humor-blogs.com/

One Ply

I finally finished the 12 pack of one ply toilet paper I bought by mistake.

As a single guy, it lasted far too long.
Just when I thought I could open the two ply pack, there were always a few more rolls of the dreaded one ply to get through.
What was I thinking when I bought it?
It looked so nice on the shelf: fluffy, strong, bouncy, and attractive.
How was I to know it was all a lie?

Who buys one ply anyway?

Truck stops, Service areas, cheap restaurants, department stores. The list goes on and on….

Now I am back on easy streets, living in the lap of luxury.

No more dreaded shuffling off to the toilet for me!

note: I’m buying 6 ply next time.