I broke the personal appearance code at work.
I have to get rid of my milk moustache.
… I think the milk goatee is still okay though.
note: the photo has nothing to do with anything. I just shaved off my milk moustache before I thought about posting this. The milk goatee is pretty patchy … maybe I should drink whole milk!
Today I saw a dead salmon frozen in a waterfall … my soul was still in my body though. That Sting is full of crap!
Posted in comedy, funny, humor, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized
Tagged a dead salmon frozen in a waterfall, dress code breaker, humor, humour, King of Pain, milk goatee, milk moustaches, milk mustaches, personal appearance code, Sting, telescopes and naked women wearing towels, The Police
“I never read it in a book
I never saw it on a show
But I heard it in the alley
On the weird radio”
from “If You Wanna Get To Heaven” by Ozark Mountain Daredevils
I can’t remember too much stuff I studied in High School: it’s all fragments and things disappearing around corners now.
However, I probably remember every song lyric I heard between 13 and 18 years old.
If there had been cool songs explaining Biology, Chemistry, Physics, and Algebra; I bet I would have …
– cured my lack of facial hair
– distilled a potion that made me irresistible to the opposite sex
– invented a way to win at PacMan
– built a Death Star in the shape of AC/DC‘s Angus Young‘s guitar.
Sadly for me the education through song portion of my fountain of knowledge dried up soon after “The Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round”.
note: probably the most educational song I know is Monty Python‘s Universe Song.
double note: I might have even invented “flubber” if I had had enough money to buy records!
triple note: How cool was Fred MacMurray? Pretty cool! I kid you not!
quadruple note: “I studied so hard for the test that I lost my voice.”
quintuple note: sometimes the wheels on the bus don’t go round and round.
sextuple note: In the fantasy realm of educational songs …
The Rolling Stones: physics
The Beatles: entomology
Led Zeppelin: alchemy and aeronautics
The Animals: zoology
The Cars: automotive
ZZ Top: hair dressing school
David Bowie: biology
The Clash: art of war or fashion
The Police: criminology
Dr. Hook: medicine or possibly fishing
Men At Work: business
The Doors: doors
AC/DC: the study of electricity
Crowded House: demographics
The Romantics: dead English poets you had to study in school
U2: spyware and spies and stuff
septuple note: I was going to include “Oasis: proctology” … but they weren’t around in my musical absorption period.
octuple note: Cheap Trick is more my life style.
Posted in comedy, funny, humor, language, life, music, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged AC/DC, aeronautics, alchemy, algebra, Angus Young, Ariel Sharon, art of war, automotive, biology, business, Cheap Trick, chemistry, criminology, Crowded House, david bowie, dead English poets, Death Stars, demographics, doors, Dr. Hook, electricity, entomology, facial hair, fashion, fishing, flubber, forgettings stuff, Fred MacMurray, hair dressing school, high school, humor, If You Want To Get To Heaven, irresistible or mildly attractive, Led Zeppelin, medicine, Men At Work, Monty Python, My Sharona, Oasis, Ozark Mountain Daredevils, PacMan, physics, proctology, song lyrics, spies, spy stuff, spyware, the 70s, the 80s, The Animals, The Beatles, The Cars, The Clash, The Doors, The Knack, The Police, The Rolling Stones, The Romantics, The State of Israel as told by The Knack!, The Wheels on the Bus, U2, UB40, unemployment, Universe Song, zoology, ZZ Top
“Voo doo doo doo Voo da da da Is all I want to say to you.”
note: Pinning your hopes on a voodoo doll is never pointless.
double note: I received this Voodoo doll as a gift and was too excited to take a picture of it before I stuck it in water. It does indeed grow 600% in size. (observe the AA battery in both photos for scale)
triple note: not sold on e-bay, just o-bey.
quadruple note: apologies to The Police.
Posted in comedy, funny, humor, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play
Tagged e-bay, humor, presents, thank you very much for the present, The Police, voodoo dolls