Tag Archives: soccer

Alienational Team Sports

I think there is an illegal alien on the soccer pitch.

 

note: it’s a Worlds Cup Team.

double note: “our National Anthem would kill every person on this planet, so we’ll just use the theme song to “The Jeffersons” if you don’t mind.

triple note: get it? … there are 12 on the field! … oh, nevermind.  It was funnier in my mind … earlier … for a moment.

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Today #80

Today was easier than KFC chicken … I mean greasier!

Escorts

 

Is this what they call those youth soccer players who come out on the field with the professional players at the beginning of matches?

I think someone should think of a better name for those kids.

 

note: this was on my tray at McDonald’s today.

double note: yes I read the important information on those pieces of paper … just not anything nutritional … if there is anything like that.

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notes to myself #164

You will never remember the date of one of your sisters’  birthday.

Guilty People

 

 Guilty people who get off being convicted of stuff should be charged with “beating the system to death”.

 

note: something is really wrong if you are the “even one out“.

double note: beating the odds once in a while evens things out. Beating the evens is just odd … or something like that.

triple note:I’m an evenball.

quadruple note:It’s exactly where I left it. That’s even!

quintuple note: He was penalty kicked to within an inch of his life. (or a centimetre if you’re metric)

sextuple note: metric sounds more brutal sometimes.

septuple note:  soccer sounds more brutal than it is.

octuple note: My oldest brother sent me cool Winter Olympic toques … 2010 ones no less!  (toques are ski hats to you non-Canadians)

nuntuple note: can I have head pajamas? … cause I’m thinking about wearing this to bed.

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notes to myself #124

You have no shame.

Random “Ball Sport” Questions

 

1. Were the rules, playing fields, and spectator areas for sports with slightly expensive balls designed to  keep the fans from stealing them?      (soccer, football, rugby, basketball, and even Aussie rules)
Every time that net gets hoisted behind the uprights in football, it is saying “We do not trust you“.

2. Are baseball and cricket the only sports where the best thing to happen is for the ball to go out of play?
            Home Run!  Yeah!              A 6!  Hoorah! Bully!

 3. Are volleyball and tennis the only ball sports where the ball going in to the net is a bad thing?

4. Is golf the only ball sport where the ball is never out of play?
    This sounds like “empty lot kids’ ball game rules” to me.
    Golf balls are cheap too! Who invented this game?

 

note: planetross prefers ball sports with pucks and rocks.

http://humor-blogs.com/

Fans

 

When push comes to shove …

it’s time for the Argentine soccer match to start!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

note: Those Argentines get so fireworked up about soccer.

http://humor-blogs.com/

Red Card

I like the red card idea in football/soccer.

I’ve told you what you’ve done wrong, and now I’m going to pull a red card out of my shirt pocket just in case you didn’t understand me.

I should start carrying around a red card.

serious body odor! red card

bad manners: nose picking at stop lights, cutting toenails in public, saying bad things about Pink Floyd. red card

taking calls on your cellphone in the movie theatre. red card

counting out $20 of change at the supermarket check-out. red card

losing my books, keys, Cds. red card

poor fashion sense. red card

I think you won’t be able to field a team tomorrow.

I might just get a whistle too.