Insomnia … But Not In Othersia

 

Sometimes I lie awake dreaming about sleeping,

but never the opposite.

 

note: lying awake is easy … lying while asleep is more difficult … what with it being your subconscious and all.

double note: I took a lie detector test once. It worked! It said I was lying down.

triple note: if you are just pretending to be asleep, are you are double liar?

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Today #350

I went back to the gym for the first time in about 10 months.
The staff member said, “long time no see.”
I looked around bewildered and asked, ” Where am I?“

 

Sleep

 

Last night I slept like a baby. It was great!

… I didn’t wear a diaper … or soil myself … or cry … or wake up in the middle of the night for some food though.

I guess I didn’t sleep like a baby after all!

No wonder babies are so tired;
… they don’t sleep very well really.

 

note: maybe I slept like a log??

double note: if I sleep with another person who is sleeping like a log too, I guess there isn’t any threat of starting a fire.

triple note: I’ve never started a fire by rubbing 2 sticks together! … I’ll add that to my “alternative reality bucket list” … that’s the one that includes things I don’t really want to do too badly.

quadruple note: are there any “Alternative Reality Shows“? … if there were, that would be really cool … unless it was just different shows on different channels … then that wouldn’t be.

quintuple note: “sleeping pong” would keep me awake.

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Today #73

I bought a todaily newspaper.

Joking And Croaking

 

During the weekdays from Spring to Fall, I wake up to children joking on their way to school and fall asleep to frogs croaking in the rice fields.

These 2 sounds are the bookends to my day.

On weekends and holidays I am bookendless …

and don’t have those annoying kids waking me up so damn early every morning!

I kind of miss the frogs in the Winter though.

 

note: frogs don’t croak when they croak.

double note:

Margaret, are you grieving
Over Goldengrove unleaving?

“No it’s those bloody kids outside the window again!”

(apologies to Gerald Manley Hopkins)

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Blofeld Eye

 

I am not a morning person.

It takes me a while to shake off sleep’s cobwebs and function properly.

As for facial features … I don’t know what happens while I’m asleep, but metamorphosis take place.

This morning I awoke to “Blofeld Eye“!

Whose face do you wake up to?

note: I must have “in…creased” my sleeping time.

double note: At least I didn’t wake up to Scaramanga nipples!!!

http://humor-blogs.com/

While You Were Sleeping

 

While you were sleeping

I was doing my laundry
eating lunch
watching tv
mumbling to myself
having a shower
visiting a nice place
waiting for work to finish
buying groceries
laughing with friends
drinking myself silly
cleaning my toilet
lying on the sofa
breathing …
and getting on with my life.

Of course the world stops when I’m asleep!