Signs And Writing

 

I can’t read the writing on the wall

… it’s on the other side , I guess.

 

note: what the hell does an exclamation mark sign mean!

double note: I’ll start worrying when I see question mark signs.

of special note: omawarisan over at Blurt needs a new header on his blog and is having a contest! I’ve submitted my entry: you should check out all the clever entries over at his blog. The contest is still going on … so just saying.
(I don’t include my entry as clever … that would be presumptuous … and I’m more consumptuous)

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Today #245

Today I bought booze at a Do It Yourself center … I found that ironic … or sad … or the cheapest place in town to buy it … or found it at least.

Upside-Down Wordless Sunday

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Today #226

Today I looked up the lyrics for “Mmm Bop“. I think I heard a cat die.

Fragile

 

Sometimes I want to curl up in to a little ball and cry.

… I’m glad I don’t go to yoga and am able to do that.

 

note: some things are funny for a moment … and then I move on.

double note: when you walk away from these signs you are never “here” anymore … you’re somewhere else … or “here” on another sign somewhere.
Sometimes I don’t see the signs.

triple note: lying straight and crying in okay too.

quadruple note: planetross likes curling … really! … but not rolling up into little balls … rolling up into those big bull’s eye circles is better.

quintuple note: always pebble your ice.

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notes to myself #99

You curl for a few years. I can’t believe it either! … and you like it.

Fugu

 

Some people will spend a lot of money to eat something that could possible kill them.

These people are crazy!

They should just come to my place and eat for free.

 

note: everything you wanted to know about “fugu”, but were afraid to ask can be found here.

double note: I half-heartedly tried to find The Simpsons’ clip about fugu, but found The Simpsons’ introduction in Lego  instead. If you want to see a fine Lego Cake, pop on over to The Tesserae  for a look.

triple note: if you eat Lego Cake are you a demolitionist?

quadruple note: photo taken outside of a fugu restaurant in Yokohama. Is that the coolest fugu sign/artwork you’ve ever seen or what? I wonder if they’ve sprayed toxic paint on it so people won’t steal it!

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Virgins

 

“Excuse me!

The sign says you are not virgin. Is that correct?

I can show you how to become even less virgin.”

“hee hee hee hee hee”  produced in low growly salivating voice.

 

*SPECIAL NOTE*  sorry, I got carried away. I think there are 5 new entries here. I’m done for the night … maybe.

note: I think the staff are all married or in meaningful relationships.

double note: soap shop people are so promiscuous.

triple note: some shops will do anything for a sale!

quadruple note: I’m starting to like the direction this recycling craze is going!

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Vest Human

 

I know my Japanese is less than great, but … I wouldn’t make up stickers for my van without getting a second opinion.

 

note:  a basectomy doesn’t sound so horribly bad now.

double note: b‘s and v‘s take a veating ober here; r‘s and l‘s do too! I think in Japan I’m “pranetloss“!

triple note: I think that kid is holding a broccoli icecream cone too!

quadruple note: I’ve put on 3 entries tonight: check out the other 2 if you are so inclined.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Local Tourist Attraction

 

I drive by this sign once a week on my way to somewhere else.

One of these days I’m going to have to see what all the fuss is about.

If I don’t come back,  don’t come looking for me.

 

note: possibly there are plums and kings or countries involved. I could be wrong; I usually am.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Fire

 

Don’t mess with me man!

If it wasn’t for my oddly shaped matchstick head, I’d be in the Fantastic Four!

 

note: The makers of this sign are blowing everything out of proportion; especially the proportions.

double note: Can I put this on my CV/resume as a skill?

triple note: lighters are heavier than matches.

quadruple note: ban fire if that’s how you feel.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Not Necessary

 

Is it really necessary to know how far away from Tokyo I am?

This is not 148 km to Tokyo: it’s 148 km from Tokyo!

These signs appear every 5 km or so letting motorists know this vital information.
In some places there is one every kilometer: these must be nervous distances for many people.

If I wanted to go to Tokyo, I’d be on the other side of the road going the opposite direction.

Can’t people just turn their heads and check out the distance signs on the other side of the road if they are that curious?

 

note: The BBC channel fills 30 second slots with “This Week” telling people what happened this week 10, 20, or 50 years ago. It’s always depressing news: air crashes, natural disasters, asassinations, oil spills, …   
Isn’t today’s news bad enough without being reminded of bad news from 20 years ago?

double note: “Pipeline explosion kills 700 in Nigeria in 1998” in case you were wondering. Thanks BBC.

triple note: I wonder if there is a sign saying “1 km from Tokyo“. That would be funny.

 

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Tumble Dried English

 

I don’t usually dry my clothes at a laundromat, but it’s been raining for the last 3 days here, so I went.

This sign was on one of the dryers.

It’s scary, but I actually understand what it means.

I think I’ve lived in Japan for too long.

 

note: I’m usually underwhelmed by start buttons.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/