Tag Archives: rules

The 2 Second Rule

 

When you drop something on the floor, if it can be picked up in 2 seconds you can still eat it.

Many people don’t follow this rule.

I guess they had a bad upbringing.

note: Wouldn’t it be nice if you could use the 2 Second Rule for other situations:

– comments
  – bad purchases
  – bad haircuts
  – deciding on/eating that second dessert
  – lighting cigarettes at the wrong end
  – publishing poorly worded or mispelt comments on other people’s blogs
  – dropping letters in the mailbox with no stamps
  – pouring rancid milk into coffee/tea
  – taking that fatal shaving stroke
  – starting toilet procedures before checking the toilet paper situation
  – saying “Fill her up” before checking the wallet
  – hitting delete/erase buttons

Too Much Time

Mirrors

I walked by a mirror and didn’t see my reflection.

It was very freaky!

Maybe it was a window.
I’m not too sure.

 

Bottleneck

I don’t know about you, but driving through a city called Bottleneck might not be the best idea!

 

Delicatessen

If I had a delicatessen, I’d call it The Psycho Deli.

Maybe I’d have a blackvelvet poster and a lava lamp somewhere.

 

Pets as Gifts

I don’t think it is a good idea to give a pet as a gift.

so

I usually give 2 pets: a male and female rabbit!

just to be safe.

 

I Want To Be A Webler!

web log = weblog = blog

Why isn’t it “webl”?

I’d rather webl and be a webler!

Turn Signals

I want up and down turn signals on my car: just in case.

 

Pirates of the Caribbean

I don’t care how good the movies are; the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland sucks.

 

Christmas Carols

People in the Southern Hemisphere are pretty good sports about Christmas Carols.

 

Youth

When I was younger, I was a lot shorter than I am now.

 

Funerals

Let’s put the “fun” back in “funeral”!

 

Jawbreakers

Has anyone ever broken their jaw on a jawbreaker?

FALSE ADVERTISING!

 

Rules

Rules are made to be broken.

except in sports.

There’s video replay now!

 

J-Pods

I’m waiting for the j-pods to come out!

 

Zombies are a Dying Breed

If everyone were cremated…..

I guess there would be no more Zombie movies!

That would suck.