When someone starts talking about things like blood cells, DNA, or ganglia; I always say that I don’t have any of them.
Then I start talking about something important like my new socks.
When people ask me for directions, I tell them “You can’t get there from here“.
Usually the look on their faces makes me feel a little sorry for them; so I tell them where the airport is.
When I was young, I was a lot shorter than I am now.
When other people talk to me and I don’t hear what they say, I usually answer with:
I like dogs, but I can’t eat a whole one!
When someone says they really like chocolate cake, I usually ask,
Do you know what’s better than chocolate cake?
and then answer: 2 chocolate cakes!!!
I use this question and answer routine for most things.
It’s really annoying.
When people show me something they bought at a dollar store,
I always ask how much it was.