Tag Archives: presents

Your Present Is The Stocking!

 

I guess before Christmas was invented
people just got presents on December 25th for no reason at all.

 

note: I finally have a stocking with my name on it! Thanks sister of mine.
… I write my name on the bottom of all my socks with a jiffy-marker, but that’s just not the same.

double note: I wrote this last year about what stocking I used as a kid:
https://planetross.wordpress.com/2010/12/21/stocking-up/

triple note: my sister knitted a stocking for my girlfriend too. Now I will have to buy a bunch of stuff to fill it up with. Do they sell leg shaped pillows?    

quadruple note: before religions started making holidays everywhere, people must have had to work a lot more.

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Today #294

Today I didn’t have much energy. I wish Apple had an update for people with low battery problems.

Utensilliness

 

Why are chopsticks a cool gift, but not a single fork?

 

note: I wish these chopsticks had different names; it’s confusing. I’m not sure which one goes in which hand!

double note: I want a set that are engraved with “this side up“.

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Today #255

I have an alibi for today, but not an alihello.

An Omni-Present

 

It happens every year.

A kid gets a present, they use it for one day, and then they forget all about it!

I don’t think adults would get away with that one!

 

note: when I get alcohol as a present, the present doesn’t worry me … it’s the future that makes me nervous.

double note: if I don’t get on here tomorrow …
MERRY CHRISTMAS  and HAPPY HOLIDAYS to everyone.
All the best to you and yours from me and mine!

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Today #101

Today surprised me like a shaken can of beer.

Christmas #1 (not the first Christmas)

Chile 2005

I think the Yuletide is out this year.

 

note: Yuletide seems to be harmful to turkeys … kind of like red tide for fish.

double note: I’m hoping for a “Yuletidal wave” of presents this year.

triple note:   When was the first Christmas? They should put a little note on calendars or something.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Voodoo Dolls

“Voo doo doo doo  Voo da da da   Is all I want to say to you.”

 

note: Pinning your hopes on a voodoo doll is never pointless.

double note: I received this Voodoo doll as a gift and was too excited to take a picture of it before I stuck it in water. It does indeed grow 600% in size. (observe the AA battery in both photos for scale)

triple note: not sold on e-bay, just o-bey.

quadruple note: apologies to The Police.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Tape Measures

I shrunk another tape measure by mistake in the washing machine today.

I’ll just give it to my chubby friend the builder for Christmas; he won’t notice.

Christmas shopping just keeps getting easier and easier.

 

note: those tape measuring cups are useless!

http://humor-blogs.com/