Tag Archives: predictions

Birthday Party, Cheesecake, Jelly Bean, Boom!

 

The “End of the World” people don’t like to hedge their bets, do they?

A “probably“, “maybe“, or “possibly” tucked into their prediction might make other people think they are still pretty okay normal people.

… “oh it didn’t happen. That’s okay, maybe next time you’ll be right. Wanna go get a few beers?

 

note: I’ll remain cynical until everything is phonetic … then I’ll be sinical.

note: this site  lists over 200 failed predictions about the End of the World. It’s mildly interesting. 
I try not to be too much of a Bible Thumper Basher, but this site’s main premise seems to be that Jesus’ 2nd coming will have something to do with the End of the World. … but no dates are given for that.
I hope he doesn’t come while I’m still alive because I’d probably be seriously bummed out, embarrassed and saying “no way!” a lot … along with 67% of the Earth’s inhabitants.

triple note: I’m not holding my breath unless there isn’t any oxygen around … or you bet me $5 that I can’t hold it for 2 minutes under water.

quadruple note: the title is a borrowed line from R.E.M‘s “It’s The End Of The World“.

quintuple note: if I have offended anyone, I haven’t meant to. It’s just a topic and I’m sure I’ll be saying something weird about holes in my socks or dandruff or chain letters or rolypolitics tomorrow.

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notes to myself #84

Mom is pretty disappointed that all her children don’t share her belief about the hereafter … but she did a good job making us believe in love and an individual’s choice to believe what they want.

Predictionaries

the blue eye of the storm

 

I have a predictionary: it tells me what might happen … but not in the right order.

 

note: I am unpredictionable: I don’t even know what might happen!

double note: when someone’s very unpredictable … that’s kind of predictable really.

triple note: predictionaries are like selective logging: not clear cut.

 

notes to myself #23

You miss the first month of  Grade 12 with mononucleosis, but you get out of taking Algebra … so it’s not all bad.

The Blue Monkey #9

105

The Blue Monkey predicts:

In our lifetime  shoelaces will become obsolete.

However, children will still be laughed at for not being able to fasten their velcro straps.

 

note:

The blue monkey is a lesser oracle who predicts what may happen, not what will happen. He has studied many different disciplines on his path to enlightenment, including: using ouija boards, reading horoscopes, counting cherry pits, blowing out birthday candles, opening fortune cookies, pulling wishbones, watching Kung Fu reruns, listening to the weatherman, twisting apple stems, and shaking the Magic 8 Ball. All behold the blue monkey!

BEHOLD: The Blue Monkey #1
             The Blue Monkey #2
             The Blue Monkey #3
             The Blue Monkey #4
             The Blue Monkey #5
             The Blue Monkey #6
             The Blue Monkey #7
             The Blue Monkey #8

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

The Blue Monkey #7

 

The Blue Monkey predicts:

In our lifetime wheelchairs will only have one wheel.

People’s balance will be greatly improved for some reason.

 

note:

The blue monkey is a lesser oracle who predicts what may happen, not what will happen.He has studied many different disciplines on his path to enlightenment, including: using ouija boards, reading horoscopes, counting cherry pits, blowing out birthday candles, opening fortune cookies, pulling wishbones, watching Kung Fu reruns, listening to the weatherman, twisting apple stems, and shaking the Magic 8 Ball. All behold the blue monkey!

BEHOLD: The Blue Monkey #1
             The Blue Monkey #2
             The Blue Monkey #3
             The Blue Monkey #4
             The Blue Monkey #5
             The Blue Monkey #6

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

The Blue Monkey #2

The Blue Monkey predicts:

In our lifetime a balloon cake will be invented for birthday celebrations. It will be called a ballake or a calloon.

Cutting this hybrid balloon/cake will prove difficult.

 

note:
The blue monkey is a lesser oracle who predicts what may happen, not what will happen.
He has studied many different disciplines on his path to enlightenment, including: using ouija boards, reading horoscopes, counting cherry pits, blowing out birthday candles, opening fortune cookies, pulling wishbones, watching Kung Fu reruns, listening to the weatherman, twisting apple stems, and shaking the Magic 8 Ball. All behold the blue monkey!

http://humor-blogs.com/

The Blue Monkey #1

 

The Blue Monkey predicts:

In our lifetime “rainbows” will be called “sunbows”. They will only have 5 colors: red, orange, yellow, green, and blue.

Because violet and indigo are too hard too remember.

 

note:
 The blue monkey is a lesser oracle who predicts what may happen, not what will happen. He has studied many different disciplines on his path to enlightenment, including: using ouija boards, reading horoscopes, counting cherry pits, blowing out birthday candles, opening fortune cookies, pulling wishbones, watching Kung Fu reruns, listening to the weatherman, twisting apple stems, and shaking the Magic 8 Ball. All behold the blue monkey!