Tag Archives: ping pong balls

Money Making Scheme #16

Bawl Babies! Collect them all!

 

I’m going to sell “Bawl Babies”: balls with cry baby faces on them.

Any type of ball should do: tennis bawl babies, golf bawl babies, soccer bawl babies, super bawl babies, ping pong bawl babies, rubber bawl babies, beach bawl babies, Lucille Bawl babies, tether bawl babies, bowling bawl babies, medicine bawl babies, rugby bawl babies, basebawl babies, basketbawl babies, Nerfbawl babies, meatbawl babies, …

 

POSSIBLE SLOGANS

I’ll give you something to cry about!

More useful than a Cabbage Patch Kid … and they bounce too!

 

note: if this works, I may branch out into “Bald Babies” … ones with no fake drawn-in hair on them!

double note: paddles not included.

safe to paddle in public

triple note: Money Making Scheme #1 and #2 and #3 and #4 and #5 and #6 and #7  and #8  and #9  and #10  and #11  and# 12  and# 13 and #14  and #15  are still scheming.

 

notes to myself #11

When you are 19 don’t take the “selling encyclopedias door to door” job.
It’s just not your thing.
Did you really want to be good at that anyway?

Sammy’s Stucky Situation: The Bindlings

The Bindlings

Part One of “Sammy’s Stucky Situation” here.

 

Do you know why bulk candy is cheaper than other candy?” asked the supermarket manager.

Because it doesn’t come in a shiny box, have a cool name or a massive ad campaign hyping it“, answered Sammy.

No, those aren’t the reasons“, the manager said seriously.

After a deep breath the manager explained the truth.

“Bulk bin candy isn’t tested as well for Bindlings as other candy.
Bindlings are little tiny animals that attach themselves to sugar beans and cocoa cane. They are like parasites, but are never found in pairs. I guess they are singlecites or half-parasites or something. Not much is really known about them.

Big candy companies spend a lot of money screening their products for Bindlings: bulk companies don’t.

Undetected, Bindlings grow from teeny tiny no-see-um size to ping pong ball size and live at the bottom of bulk candy bins. Most people, when they see them, just think they are clumps of melted candy or chocolate and just leave them behind.

They are relatively harmless to adults, but very dangerous to children. Bindlings are phalangeaters and digit nibblers; they like fingers … children’s fingers!

They especially like nailbiters’ fingers, pinky promisers’ fingers, nosepickers’ fingers, yoyo yoers’ fingers, fingersnappers’ fingers, playstationers’ fingers, coinslot checkers’ fingers, icing lickers’ fingers, gumball grabbers’ fingers, and cookies in milk dunkers’ fingers.

They don’t like thumb suckers’ fingers for some reason, but they really like the thumbs!

Usually they only get a bit of a finger, but once in a while a child who’s sticking a hand into the bulk bins gets a whole bum scratching finger bitten off. And bum scratching fingers take a mighty long time to grow back, I assure you.” he finished.

“Would you like to hear another story about where the cereal box toys really come from?” continued the manager.

At that moment, the next town’s firemen tapped on the store’s window and the sound made both Sammy and the supermarket manager jump.

The firemen eventually freed Sammy from the cart with a lot of shaking and a bit of hair pulling, and without the use of their extensive Life equipment, much to their disappointment.

Sammy never stuck his hands in the bulk bin candy bins ever again and was a bit leery about cereal box prizes for a while. However, he still took the odd grape or two when no one was looking.

http://humor-blogs.com/

 

 

Money Making Scheme #8

november-24th-0251

 

 

I’m going to sell “Ping Pong Ball Pumps”.

I’ll have them manufactured in Sweden because they are famous for pump technology.

 

note: I might have to design special shoes called “Ping Pong Pump Pumps” so the user can hold the pump in place while inflating flat ping pong balls.

double note: I may market a “ping pong ball patch kit” for balls with slow leaks. (basically just tape: but if people buy the pump and shoes, they will buy anything!)

triple note: Ping Pong Balls make more of a “dut dut dut” sound than a “ping pong” sound. I could be wrong; I usually am.

quadruple note: The Ping Pong Paddle business is a good “racket” to get in to.

quintuple note: Money Making Scheme #1 and #2 and #3 and #4 and #5 and #6 and #7 are still scheming.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/