Pets

 

If I had a pet, I’d name it “Peeve”.

It would probably grow into its name.

I’m not really a pet person, … I’m more of a pet person person.

 

note: if I had 2 pets, I’d name the other one “Padam” … and then have both of them neutered.

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Today #107

Today my pencil was not very subtle … I had to sharpen it.

Outsurance

 

My friend tells me odd facts: the latest tidbit,

“People with pets live 3 years longer than people without pets.”

I had pets when I was a kid: I’m covered.

 

note: people who work at pet stores must live forever.

double note: I bet pets live longer when they have owners … especially fish.

triple note: the original Odd Fact is here.

quadruple note: this computer is still dying, but I will try to make it last until payday … kind of like my money.

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Today #52

I had an eye test today … my score was 2.

Doggie Do’s and Don’ts

Do you know why dogs stick their heads out of car windows?

Because there isn’t enough literature on the dangers of doing this being given out to dogs.

and … English to Dog translators are a dying breed.

 

note: I’m waiting for “pet safety seats” in cars to become mandatory … or … dogdatory.

double note: “flying carpets” are cool; “flying car pets” are not. (not even birds)

triple note: A catchy slogan might be: “Keep your dogsaliva longer; buckle them up!”

*SPECIAL NOTE* my “New Experiment” has died (sad face).

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Aquariums in Japan

I’ve just realized that I am an aquarium junkie.

I’ve visited 4 different aquariums in the last year; one of them twice!

After what I’ve written earlier about Animals in Zoos,  https://planetross.wordpress.com/2008/04/08/animal-penal-system/

 I think I am a hypocrite. 

I guess I don’t feel the same way about fish as I do about animals. I do feel sorry for all non-fish creatures at aquariums: I hope that redeems me somehow. Even that is hard; those dolphins and sea lions always look so damn happy during the shows.

But the fish… I have no sympathy. I guess I’m heartless. I like to rationalize it by thinking it’s better to be in an aquarium tank than in a restaurant tank or a fisherman’s net.

For the record: there are no sashimi/sushi restaurants at aquariums in Japan. Japanese people have their limits I guess.

I’m not a pet person, but at a local festival I ended up taking home a goldfish someone else had won. I put it in my biggest glass bowl, bought some fish food for it, and was getting all attached to the little bugger. Then it died.

I think it died of happiness; but I could be wrong.

So what do you do with a dead goldfish? I flushed it down the toilet: returning it from whence it came.

I told my Japanese co-worker this and she thought I was strange. I gave her the “returning it from whence it came” argument, but that didn’t work.

She said since it was a pet, I should have buried it.

I think I need to go to a Fish Sensitivity Counselling Seminar.

note: I hope they have fish and chips for lunch.

 

Too Much Time

Mirrors

I walked by a mirror and didn’t see my reflection.

It was very freaky!

Maybe it was a window.
I’m not too sure.

 

Bottleneck

I don’t know about you, but driving through a city called Bottleneck might not be the best idea!

 

Delicatessen

If I had a delicatessen, I’d call it The Psycho Deli.

Maybe I’d have a blackvelvet poster and a lava lamp somewhere.

 

Pets as Gifts

I don’t think it is a good idea to give a pet as a gift.

so

I usually give 2 pets: a male and female rabbit!

just to be safe.

 

I Want To Be A Webler!

web log = weblog = blog

Why isn’t it “webl”?

I’d rather webl and be a webler!

Turn Signals

I want up and down turn signals on my car: just in case.

 

Pirates of the Caribbean

I don’t care how good the movies are; the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland sucks.

 

Christmas Carols

People in the Southern Hemisphere are pretty good sports about Christmas Carols.

 

Youth

When I was younger, I was a lot shorter than I am now.

 

Funerals

Let’s put the “fun” back in “funeral”!

 

Jawbreakers

Has anyone ever broken their jaw on a jawbreaker?

FALSE ADVERTISING!

 

Rules

Rules are made to be broken.

except in sports.

There’s video replay now!

 

J-Pods

I’m waiting for the j-pods to come out!

 

Zombies are a Dying Breed

If everyone were cremated…..

I guess there would be no more Zombie movies!

That would suck.