Grapefruit

 

When I ate grapefruit as a kid my mother used to cut each segment away from the peel, so it was easy for me to eat.

She was pretty non-judgemental when I piled on the sugar too!

I’d like to thank her for that.

 

 Hey! It’s not like she peeled all my bananas for me or anything!

If you feel that way about it, go find your own mother!

 

note: if I didn’t have a mother, I’d wish I’d never been born. 

double note: I’m sure if I was born again, I’d be a born-again atheist.

triple note: Matt Damon has been Bourne again a few times now!

quadruple note: are there any born-again Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, Jews, …
… or are only Christians allowed to do that?

quintuple note: being a “died-again something” isn’t as catchy as that “born-again” stuff.

sextuple note: sheep probably “dye-in-the-wool” more than most animals.

.

Today #139

Today was relaxative … I ate a lot of corn last night.

Carrots

 

Are carrots good for eye sight because they have vitamins and stuff in them?

… or is it because they are bright orange and easy to see?

 

note: I can’t afford a reflective vest, so I just ride my bicycle at night with a pumpkin, some oranges, and a few carrots.

“No I won’t sell you any of these things!!! I’m not riding home in the dark! Duh!”

double note: okay I’ll show you the rabbit!

 

triple note: The carrot or the stick? … why can’t I just have carrot sticks?

 

notes to myself #17

Do not eat 5 Whoppers at Burger King in Budapest: the 5th one is going to have you sitting on the toilet for a week.
Don’t be such a pig! … only eat 4 Whoppers.

On Planetross: The Movesies and Nomovesies

 

On Planetross the movesies and nomovesies are very interesting.

There are waterclimbs and slowpids, small continents and large islands, tiny oceans and giant lakes, lush deserts and desolate sunforests, small mountains and large hills, barren jungles and outdoor caves, and many bottomless piles.

Zepanties and  goodbyepopotamuses roam free. 

Vegetable flies and manbugs buzz around rainflowers and dandetigers.

People plant trees in their gardens and harvest flowers to keep their houses warm.

Dragonwalks, grassstanders, cees and waterflies arrive in Spring.

Summer brings firemelons, cob on the corn, busrots, threematos, line-upcumbers, and something that looks like an orange but it’s blue.

Kangaroobarb, deflatekins, and chickenplants grow wild.

Fall falls and Winter wins.

There are 3 other seasons, but only people on the the small seas experience them; and they don’t talk about them much.

It’s all quite normal if you live here.

 

note: On Planetross is still orbiting.

double note: the spellcheck went crazy!!!

triple note: What came first the eggplant or the chickenpox?

 

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Comparisons

                                                

Comparing bananas to cherries is like comparing apples to oranges.

It’s exactly the same thing, or is it?

note: Would you eat bananas if they had seeds in them?

double note: No matter how many watermelon seeds you eat, watermelons won’t grow out of your ears … they start growing out of your nose. 

triple note: Eating cherry pits may affect your career path.  Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Sailor, …

 

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Colorblind

 

 

 

Can colorblind people see oranges?

I haven’t noticed any oranges in the supermarket recently.

Maybe I’m slowly going colorblind!

note: “Excuse me. Can you tell me which M&Ms are red? I like to eat them last.”

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