I’ve acquired quite a few key chains in the last 10 years or so.
Most of them were presents from friends or students who went on holidays: Saipan, New Zealand, Australia, other places in Japan, and Hawaii seem to be popular destinations for Japanese people for some reason.
I’ve bought a few as keepsakes from places I’ve visited: the “No Stress” one from Morro de São Paulo, Brazil supposedly floats, while the real piranha one would fall apart if you stuck it in your pocket, but it’s cool anyway.
Others just seem to have appeared magically with bottles of whiskey.
For me, the only problem with having so many keychains is … I don’t use keychains.
My keys are in the top left of the photo.
note: I should open a keychainstore.
double note: people seem to give me a lot of gloves as well, … but never those cool doctor ones.
triple note: the only person I know with an authentic keychain is Mr. Pettit.
Today I read that Cindy Lauper was on tour in Japan when the earthquake/tsunami/nuclear reactor stuff was happening … and she just kept on touring for another week. She goes to the head of the class.
Posted in comedy, friends, funny, humor, language, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged Australia, Cindy Lauper, Hawaii, Hokkaido, humor, humour, Jim Beam, Kasakhstan, kelly pettit, keychains, keychainsaws, keychainstores, Morro de Sao Paulo, New Zealand, Okinawa, piranha, roulette, Saipan
Do “World Map” makers like it when countries change names; or are they happy just copying last year’s “World Map”?
If I was a country with nothing going for it, I’d change my name every year just to keep those map makers on their toes. … and to give myself the illusion of power.
If I couldn’t change the world, at least I could change the world map!
note: If a country changed its name to something offensive, it would make geography classes more fun at school.
double note: If a country’s name doesn’t fit neatly inside the country’s space on the world map, then it’s too long.
New Zealand, Denmark, The United Kingdom, and most small island nations’ names are hanging out all over the place. Having a country’s name written over international waters is “map imperialism” in my books.
triple note: Either I need to buy a new map or something bad has happened to Ceylon, Rhodesia, Burma, and Upper Volta!
Posted in comedy, funny, humor, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, travel, Uncategorized, words
Tagged Algeria and Egypt don't really smell like poo, Burma, Cartmantographers are South Park fans, cartographers, Ceylon, change the world, Denmark, geography, humor, I'm with stupid, Mali loves Chad the new hit comedy, map imperialism, map makers, maps, New Zealand, questionable island nations, Rhodesia, something offensive, the illusion of power, The United Kingdom, Upper Volta, Where did I leave Siam?, world maps
12 years ago I stayed with a Kiwi friend in London. She lived with 10 other Kiwis in a flat in Acton.
I hadn’t heard the Kiwi accent for 3 years, so I was ready to listen carefully and prepared to say “excuse me” and “pardon” more than normal, when the first 2 flatmates arrived home from work.
They were brother and sister and seemed to be in a heated argument.
The conversation went something like … “No, you are the c**t.” “Who ya calling c**t? c**t“. “F**k you, you c**t“.
Eventually, I asked the woman what her job was. She replied.
“Pardon”, I said.
She repeated her answer.
“Excuse me”, I said.
Her brother noticed that I was having trouble with the accent and asked me what I thought she was saying.
“She’s a dick licker“, I replied.
She yelled, “I’m a debt collector!”
Myself and her brother became good friends.
note: I eventually visited their hometown of Huntly. I would have put in a picture of the place’s main attraction “the power plant“, but the website wanted me to buy the photo! (seriously)
Posted in comedy, friends, funny, humor, language, life, New Zealand, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, travel, Uncategorized, words
Tagged accents, debt collectors, dick lickers, flats, humor, Huntly, London, New Zealand, power stations