Tag Archives: nerf balls

Money Making Scheme #16

Bawl Babies! Collect them all!


I’m going to sell “Bawl Babies”: balls with cry baby faces on them.

Any type of ball should do: tennis bawl babies, golf bawl babies, soccer bawl babies, super bawl babies, ping pong bawl babies, rubber bawl babies, beach bawl babies, Lucille Bawl babies, tether bawl babies, bowling bawl babies, medicine bawl babies, rugby bawl babies, basebawl babies, basketbawl babies, Nerfbawl babies, meatbawl babies, …



I’ll give you something to cry about!

More useful than a Cabbage Patch Kid … and they bounce too!


note: if this works, I may branch out into “Bald Babies” … ones with no fake drawn-in hair on them!

double note: paddles not included.

safe to paddle in public

triple note: Money Making Scheme #1 and #2 and #3 and #4 and #5 and #6 and #7  and #8  and #9  and #10  and #11  and# 12  and# 13 and #14  and #15  are still scheming.


notes to myself #11

When you are 19 don’t take the “selling encyclopedias door to door” job.
It’s just not your thing.
Did you really want to be good at that anyway?

It’s Just A Phrase I’m Going Through!


There are many phrases to describe dangerous situations:

playing with fire”    “living with a time-bomb”    “walking the razor’s edge

There should be more phrases to describe safe situations, like …

camping in the living room”    “playing with a picture of fire”     “living with a nerf ball

Can you think of any good “safe” phrases?




note: “Vanilla ice cream again! You’re really camping in the living room with that choice.  Oh! You’re lactose intolerant! Pardon me.”


NERF Balls


When I was 11, my mother bought me a NERF ball: the old school type; orange and about the size of a grapefruit.

My 24 year old brother use to come for Sunday dinner every week. We’d play soccer with the NERF ball in the living room. I was the goalie and my net was the fireplace screen. My brother was the forward (don’t think they were called strikers yet). He’d do a running commentary on the shots, saves, and goals in a loud voice. We’d play for about an hour.

It drove my mother nuts.

After 6 months of this, she finally hid my NERF ball.

I pleaded and begged for its return. No Deal.

I searched for it. No Luck.

Eventually I forgot about the NERF ball; I moved on to Coleco Head to Head football or the Dune books.


When I was 16, I found it!

I could never use it, or admit that I’d found it though.

My mother had hidden it in the liquor cabinet.

note: Yes. The advertisement does say, ” You can’t hurt babies or old people “.