Tag Archives: metric

Fingers And Toes


If humans only had 4 digits on their hands and feet,

– metric would be just as confusing as the imperial system.
– nail polish would last longer.
– no one would be giving anyone the middle finger.

-sign language might have less words.
-ape hands would look so weird.
-base 8 would be pretty standard.

-cartoon characters would probably only have 3 fingers.
-Agatha Christie may have written “8 Little Indians“.
– one of those little piggies either would not be going to market or not going wee wee wee all the way home.

… and would we be saying …

Hang Eight!
High Four!
Four Finger Discount.


note: thereprobablywouldn’tbeanyspacesbetweenwordsonacomputereither.

double note: having your finger cut off in the Yakuza would probably mean more too!


Today #56

Today was like a bananaless banana split.



I run pretty fast from rectal thermometers.

I don’t know how fast I run from them because …

I don’t like rectal speedometers either!


note: thermometers and speedometers sound metric … like the Grammys.

double note: you’d have to be sick to use a thermometer!

triple note: I guess thermometers measure coolness too.


Trivial Bets #6

Nicolas Cage was in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. (true)

planetross 2 – trivial better 4

Guilty People


 Guilty people who get off being convicted of stuff should be charged with “beating the system to death”.


note: something is really wrong if you are the “even one out“.

double note: beating the odds once in a while evens things out. Beating the evens is just odd … or something like that.

triple note:I’m an evenball.

quadruple note:It’s exactly where I left it. That’s even!

quintuple note: He was penalty kicked to within an inch of his life. (or a centimetre if you’re metric)

sextuple note: metric sounds more brutal sometimes.

septuple note:  soccer sounds more brutal than it is.

octuple note: My oldest brother sent me cool Winter Olympic toques … 2010 ones no less!  (toques are ski hats to you non-Canadians)

nuntuple note: can I have head pajamas? … cause I’m thinking about wearing this to bed.


notes to myself #124

You have no shame.

Weights and Measures Redux


Canada went metric in 1977 when I was 12 years old.
Other than the funny ruler I had to use, I adapted.

I consider myself bilingual in the weights and measures department.

When I worked at a gas station, I had lots of fun with American tourists.

American Tourist: “How many litres in a gallon?”

Me: “Which gallon, an Imperial gallon or a U.S. gallon?”

American Tourist: “Just fill it up, and I’ll pay for it with your colorful play money.”

I thought I was pretty smart until I stepped on a scale in England and weighed 13 stone!

What’s that about?

Do they measure people in hands as well?