Tag Archives: marbles

Some Days #5

 

Some days I feel so excited I think I ‘ll turn in to one big goose bump.

 

note: some days I’m just a lump.

double note: the other Some Days are still here  and here and here and here.

triple note: the medical term for goose bumps is cutis anserina … but that sounds so clinical.

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notes to myself #163

Your balls are really made up of your scotum and testicles … but you probably already know that, if you are older than 7 and have had Dad’s lecture. “Goolies” still sounds better though.

Harvey’s Hands

 Harvey's Hands

 

This is the story of Harvey before he turned nine years old and became a little rottenish.

Harvey was born a usual baby boy in the usual way: kicking and screaming.

He was a joy to his parents and ate all his baby food gloop which most people find unenjoyable when they become a bit older and more experienced.

He did well keeping his parents employed changing diapers, and eventually became bigger like most babies regrettably do. At the time most toddlers are grabbing cat tails and other important things, Harvey never grabbed, pawed, spindled, folded, crushed, or childhandled anything.

His parents worried about his uninquisitiveness and took him to the “Hospital for Children Who Don’t Really Look or Act Sick, But Worry Their Parents for Some Reason Anyway“.

Harvey's Hands

After several tests by professional doctors with more degrees than thermometers and triangles put together, the cause of Harvey’s unchildlike behaviour was discovered: he was handednessless.
He was not right-handed, left-handed, or ambidextrous.
He was equally not strong with both hands and therefore couldn’t decide which hand to use to grab things; so, he didn’t grab anything at all.

This wasn’t a seriously terrible thing.
As Harvey grew, his handednessless made teethbrushing, haircombing, and button buttoning a little more difficult; but children don’t usually do those things exceptionally well anyway, so it wasn’t very noticeable.

Harvey's Hands

The big problem came when he entered school.
 He learned to print badly with both hands. He never mastered the simplest of musical instruments and was eventually downgraded to playing a tambourine with out any jinglely things on it. However, the worst thing was always being picked last for games involving hands. His classmates also worried about his feet and never asked him to join in any games of hopscotch, kick the can, or hacky sack.

Harvey stayed away from marbles, yoyos, thumb wrestling, and hand puppets as well.

Harvey felt left out, right out, and ambidextroused out.

Velcro was his only friend.

 

Until … the day his class played a new game: Hide and Seek.

Harvey thought it was going to be another disappointment, but he gave it a try anyway.

He hid and was not discovered. Only after he had gotten a little hungry, a lot bored, and had certainly missed music class did he become unhidden.

The next day he was voted “it“.
Although he had very little hand coordination, his eye coordination was extremely well developed and he found everyone, who wished not to be found, very quickly.

Harvey's Hands

Harvey was so good at Hide and Seek, he was recruited for the National Hide and Seek Team and even had his picture on the front page of the local newspaper on a not so busy day for news.

 Harvey's Hands

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

My Middle Drawer

My middle drawer at work.

Everyone is welcome to have a peek, peruse, play with, and enjoy the pleasures within.

Class is starting. Please put everything back now. NOW. NOW. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, .5, .25, 0!  PUT THAT STUFF BACK NOW!!!  

OK! ANGRY ROSS is phoning the Toy Police. You are in trouble now!

Everyone knows I keep my “marbles” in the top drawer.

 

note: another great idea by Pat Coakley at Single for a Reason.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Marbles

 

 

Do you remember Marble Day at school?

I do. What a great day. I waited all year for Marble Day.

Sure, you could play marbles any day, but not at school in the open and everything!

Look at me! I’m playing marbles Mr. 3rd Grade Teacher; and there is nothing you or anyone else can do about it.

Marbles had great names: cat’s eyes, steelies, pee wees, cobs, king cobs, crystals… but the best name was bullfudger. I’m sure there are a lot of other cool names for them too.

I carried my marbles around in a Crown Royal bag.

How cool was I?  Pretty cool, I kid you not.

Even the rules had cool names:

  • Keepsies:  you win the marbles used by your opponent.
  • Quitsies:   allows any one to stop the game without consequence. You could either have “quitsies” or “no quitsies“.
  • How cool is that?  Pretty cool!

    I guess “quitsies” and “no quitsies” are the unwritten rules for most things in life anyway.

    Marriage: sometimes it’s quitsies and sometimes it’s no quitsies depending where you live and who your lawyer is.

    War: usually no quitsies applies.

    Work: sometimes quitsies; sometimes no quitsies, if you don’t get your final paycheck.

    Sports: quitsies all the way. Just watch professional tennis to see what I mean.

    note: keepsies applies to everything, and I’m calling double keepsies infinity just so it’s clear.