Tag Archives: lazy

A Big Bag Of Nothing

 

Sometimes inspiration doesn’t strike: no ideas, no thoughts, no nothing.

My mind is an empty cupboard cleaned of all morsels, crumbs, and other droppings.

And then I think …
why was was I eating in that “mind cupboard” … and who the hell’s been cleaning it???

Sure wasn’t me!

 

note: like most things in my life … if inspiration doesn’t come easily, I’m not going to try to do anything about it. I’m very Zen … or lazy … or something like that.

double note: I’m so far from so good … so far.

triple note: my mind isn’t really like a cupboard, it’s more like a walk-in closet that you can run around in. (I don’t have to follow those architectural rulers)

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Today #94

Today I yelled at a car that zoomed by me, “Are you Mario Andretti, or something?”
I must have stopped watching car racing when I was 7.

Enter Title Here

 

It’s amazing how much I can’t get done when I don’t put my mind to it.

 

note:Just don’t it” … or maybe “Possibly Something” could become weekend slogans.

double note: I bet Japanese slogan writers are called “Sloguns” maybe. hee hee!

triple note: Yoda must work for Adidas.
… think about it … or “about it think“.

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Today #74

Today I finally ripped off last month’s calendar page.
Woo Hoo!  Hello October!!!

I’m So Lazy

 

I’m so lazy …

– I don’t cut the tags off of clothing.

– if I were a Jedi I’d use the centrifical Force.

– I can only swallow half a pill.

– the fingernails on the other hand will have to wait to be cut.

– I only use parts of speech.

– I breath out oxygen.

– I avoid blinking.

– I wash my pants with the belt still on them.

– I assume people just give me colorful packages as presents.

– my hair stops growing.

– I wish there was a 100 year calendar to put on my wall.
(I’m optimistically lazy sometimes)

– I pretend that thing in the fridge is cheese.

– I contract contractions: ‘m, u’r, h’s, s’s, sh’v, w’v, c’v, …

– I don’t shuffle cards; I just play a different game.

– I just eat vegetable seeds from the nursery.

– I’m even too lazy to pretend I’m sick to cover up my laziness.

– light switches are too much like heavy lifting.

– I throw out scratch tickets after I buy them.
(I’m pessimistically lazy sometimes)

– escalators are work.

– I don’t count sheep: I consider them a group.

– I buy skinless, boneless, and meatless chicken.

-I tuck my hands up my shirt sleeves, so people won’t ask why my shirt is unbuttoned.

-I tell fast food staff not to wrap my burger because I’m really into recycling.

– I drink untapped water.

 

note: Do fast food places even have dishwashers?

double note: I’m not really this lazy. … I’m more phasey or possibly malaisey sometimes.

triple note: my brother sent me 2 Winter Olympic toques … so I don’t know what I’ll have for a picture tomorrow.

quadruple note: I never use that “Proofread Writing” button up in the toolbox. I don’t think it would understand me.

quintuple note: the change in your pocket isn’t going to change your life drastically, so please stick it in one of those “Haiti” boxes that are probably everywhere.  It could drastically change someone else’s.

sextuple note: … or any other “cause box” of your choice. “Just Be Cause” is my new slogan.
… I’m getting all Sally Strutherery.

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notes to myself #125

You eventually lose contact with all your peers from play school. Oh! you’ve forgotten them already? … nevermind.

In My Dreams … #4

my next house

 

In my dreams  I walk around on a table with no legs.

  

note: photo taken in one of the DisneySea sections.

double note: #1  and #2  and #3  are still slumbering along.

triple note: I used this one in a comment a while ago if it looks vaguely familiar in an exactly the same thing sort of way … I’m also lazy and want to spend some time perusing everyone else’s blogs to get my self straight … like Cool Hand Luke.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Lazy

 

I wish someone would do something about lazy people.

If a lazy person walked over to me, I’d get someone to slap them on the side of the head.

 

note:    When is it time to wash dishes?   

When you are eating take-a-way food from a bundt pan with the ice cream scoop.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Milk

 

 

I wish I could have children and be able to breastfeed …

because I sure don’t feel like walking to the store for milk right now.

note:     lactating – what ever “tating” is, I guess I don’t lack it.

double note: I expected to find porn when I punched “milk Jugs” into the search engine; but there was just… milk.. and … jugs.

http://humor-blogs.com/