My Failed Restaurant
Blood Donor Kebabs.
The original cutting edge technology.
I just love the way that word rolls off my tongue.
I can’t wait to be old: then I would have an excuse for being such a crap driver.
Off of the Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner box:
It’s the CHEESIEST.
That’s why more kids and moms love “the one in the Blue Box.”
Right down to the bottom of the bowl.
Kraft Macaroni & Cheese.
Forget kids and moms, I love it too!
Cats and Tongues
“What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue.”
Who thought that one up?
Were cats once notorious tongue thieves?
I’m going to have nighmares now!!
There should be a food product call “hangover”.
-I’d like a hangover please.
-Snickers are good, but hangovers are better!
-Can you get me a hangover from the store?
-I had 3 hangovers yesterday
If you put a Big Mac in a blender and drank it, would it taste the same?
Why are there so many Crime Dramas on TV?
I think there should be one titled, “The Proof is in the Pudding”.
At every crime scene, the lead character could say,
“We better check the pudding to solve this one.”
Pudding is good too!
2 Questions You Don’t Want to Hear
How long can a car drive in first gear with the gas pedal to the floor before it blows up?
Can I borrow your car?
I thought my clock was broken: the second hand didn’t move for a second.
Bubble Wrap Factory
I bet people are pretty stress free working in a bubble wrap factory.
When the heat comes down, just start popping those bubbles.
I bet there aren’t too many accidents either!
The sound coming from the clock was alarming!!!
It’s just a hunch, but I think you should see a chiropractor!