Tag Archives: knives

Drills

 

 

Drills are boring; and knives are sometimes dull.

note: fire drills are pretty useless: water tends to work better.

double note: there’s money in drilling oil and teeth.

triple note: “What did we catch in the net?”  
                     “Navy Seals” 
                     “Better throw them back or greenpeace is gonna be on our ass again.”

SPECIAL NOTE: nathaliewithanh has another Japan adventure blog  up on her site.

http://humor-blogs.com/

Electricity

 

As I watched my friend reach for a knife in an attempt to dig the stuck piece of bread out of the toaster, I stopped him and suggested …

“I think a fork might work better.”

note: I’m helpful like that sometimes.

double note: You are correct; that is a coin bank cleverly placed in the wall. When you put coins in to it something happens, but it’s a surprise!

http://humor-blogs.com/

Where’s The Friggin’ Point?

 

 

I do not weep at the world I am too busy sharpening my oyster knife.

Zora Neale Hurston

 

With apologies to Pat Coakley and her great idea for a series: “What’s the Friggin’ Point?

at Single For A Reason:

http://singleforareason.wordpress.com/2008/06/27/whats-the-friggin-point/

 

I couldn’t help myself.

Still Too Much Time

My Failed Restaurant

 Blood Donor Kebabs.

 

 

Knives

 The original cutting edge technology.

 

 

Zamboni

I just love the way that word rolls off my tongue.

 

 

Growing Old

I can’t wait to be old: then I would have an excuse for being such a crap driver.

 

 

Kraft Dinner

Off of the Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner box:

It’s the CHEESIEST.
That’s why more kids and moms love “the one in the Blue Box.”
Right down to the bottom of the bowl.
Kraft Macaroni & Cheese.

Forget kids and moms, I love it too!

 

 

Cats and Tongues

“What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue.”

Who thought that one up?
Were cats once notorious tongue thieves?

I’m going to have nighmares now!!

 

 

Hangovers

There should be a food product call “hangover”.

-I’d like a hangover please.
-Snickers are good, but hangovers are better!
-Can you get me a hangover from the store?
-I had 3 hangovers yesterday

 Yum!

 

 

Big Macs

If you put a Big Mac in a blender and drank it, would it taste the same?

 

 

Crime Drama

Why are there so many Crime Dramas on TV?
I think there should be one titled, “The Proof is in the Pudding”.

At every crime scene, the lead character could say,
“We better check the pudding to solve this one.”

Pudding is good too!

 

 

2 Questions You Don’t Want to Hear

How long can a car drive in first gear with the gas pedal to the floor before it blows up?

Can I borrow your car?

 

 

Clocks

I thought my clock was broken: the second hand didn’t move for a second.

 

 

Bubble Wrap Factory

I bet people are pretty stress free working in a bubble wrap factory.

When the heat comes down, just start popping those bubbles.

I bet there aren’t too many accidents either!

 

 

Alarm Clocks

The sound coming from the clock was alarming!!!

 

 

Chiropractors

It’s just a hunch, but I think you should see a chiropractor!

 

 

 

Utensil Trays

Is it just me, or are plastic utensil trays, found in most kitchen drawers, a piece of crap.
They universally seem to be not long, wide, or big enough.
Between forks, knives, and spoons; something doesn’t fit properly.

Someone should have figured out and fixed this flawed design by now!

Come on plastic tray maker people, pull you plastic fingers out of your plastic asses and smarten up.