This is the story of Harvey before he turned nine years old and became a little rottenish.
Harvey was born a usual baby boy in the usual way: kicking and screaming.
He was a joy to his parents and ate all his baby food gloop which most people find unenjoyable when they become a bit older and more experienced.
He did well keeping his parents employed changing diapers, and eventually became bigger like most babies regrettably do. At the time most toddlers are grabbing cat tails and other important things, Harvey never grabbed, pawed, spindled, folded, crushed, or childhandled anything.
His parents worried about his uninquisitiveness and took him to the “Hospital for Children Who Don’t Really Look or Act Sick, But Worry Their Parents for Some Reason Anyway“.
After several tests by professional doctors with more degrees than thermometers and triangles put together, the cause of Harvey’s unchildlike behaviour was discovered: he was handednessless.
He was not right-handed, left-handed, or ambidextrous.
He was equally not strong with both hands and therefore couldn’t decide which hand to use to grab things; so, he didn’t grab anything at all.
This wasn’t a seriously terrible thing.
As Harvey grew, his handednessless made teethbrushing, haircombing, and button buttoning a little more difficult; but children don’t usually do those things exceptionally well anyway, so it wasn’t very noticeable.
The big problem came when he entered school.
He learned to print badly with both hands. He never mastered the simplest of musical instruments and was eventually downgraded to playing a tambourine with out any jinglely things on it. However, the worst thing was always being picked last for games involving hands. His classmates also worried about his feet and never asked him to join in any games of hopscotch, kick the can, or hacky sack.
Harvey stayed away from marbles, yoyos, thumb wrestling, and hand puppets as well.
Harvey felt left out, right out, and ambidextroused out.
Velcro was his only friend.
Until … the day his class played a new game: Hide and Seek.
Harvey thought it was going to be another disappointment, but he gave it a try anyway.
He hid and was not discovered. Only after he had gotten a little hungry, a lot bored, and had certainly missed music class did he become unhidden.
The next day he was voted “it“.
Although he had very little hand coordination, his eye coordination was extremely well developed and he found everyone, who wished not to be found, very quickly.
Harvey was so good at Hide and Seek, he was recruited for the National Hide and Seek Team and even had his picture on the front page of the local newspaper on a not so busy day for news.
I Am The Cheese 