I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Ice Cream!

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It’s  always à la mode

… never Jesus mode, Buddha mode, Jehovah mode, Yahweh mode, ...

I guess Islam just scooped the others on this one.

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note: remaining non-convertible helps me … especially when it’s raining.

double note: I’m ligious … I ain’t doing that stuff twice!

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what I’m listening to now #51: sausages frying.

something I’d forgotten: http://youtu.be/7rK3s_BP9kE

Needless Things

 

3 things I have that I don’t really need bothering me eventually:

… my tonsils, my appendix, and my conscience.

 

note: I’m still waiting for that ice cream, jello, and no school payday!
… stupid tonsils.

double note: my appendix bothers me … what the hell did it used to do? “Scientists aren’t really studying the appendix in apes, wombats, and some rodents.” (wiki)
What about the other rodents????

triple note:

 “The most common explanation is that the human appendix is a vestigial structure which has lost its original function.”
(wiki)

So that’s what Procol Harum was singing about!

“But I wandered through my playing cards
and would not let her be
one of sixteen vestigial virgins
who were leaving for the coast”

quadruple note: I thought I had nothing tonight, but this thought came through the door with me when I came home. Some milk came through the door with me too, but I put that in the fridge: I won’t share that.

quintuple note: I talk like I write: random. It’s no mystery. A thousand monkeys on a thousand typewriters have nothing on me.

sextuple note: I think Donald Diddams over at The Art of Digital Art  is the only one placing the cursor over the pictures on this blog.

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notes to myself #78

Eat more mince meat tarts, coconut marshmellow rolls, nanaimo bars, and homemade fruit cake while you have the chance! That stuff gets pretty rare later on in life.

When I’m Not Blogging, I Possibly Visited … (Part 5)

 The Toilet! 

“Your mission, Planetross, should you decide to accept it,
is . . . to go to Shikoku and see if anyone is really there at all.
 As always, should you or any member of your P.R.
Force be caught or killed, the secretary will disavow
any knowledge of your actions. This toilet will
auto-flush in five seconds.”
 

You know Shikoku … one of the 4 main islands of Japan. If Japan was a band, Shikoku would be the bass player.

I freely admit my knowledge of Shikoku is spotty.
I know that: it’s kind of roundy on the map, it’s connected to Honshu by 3 bridges, it has 88 temples that you can visit, if you’ve got loads of time … and really like temples … and I’m not talkin’ ’bout those Shirley type ones … or those ones on your head.

I asked my co-pilot “don’t put me on your blog … unless I’m distorted and yawning” what Shikoku had to offer. She said, “it’s kind of roundy on the map, it’s connected to Honshu by 3 bridges, and it has 88 temples“.

She said she used to work with  someone from Shikoku once and they were nice, but sometimes arrived at work 5 minutes late.

After that scary story, I rolled up my window and locked the doors.

 On arrival, I could tell these Shikokuites were going to be a sarcastic bunch. I liked them immediately.

They were a bit out of fashion though. But I could live with that because …

 they had giant bonsai trees  everywhere!!!!

With only one day to see anything, the decision was made to go to Takamatsu, Kagawa Prefecture.

 It was a tough decision about where to go first:
Ritsurin Koen (not in the top 3 parks to visit in Japan, but an edgy contender to nudge out the top 3 and my garden),
Yashimaji Temple (#84 of the 88 big ones), 
or
Shikokumura (old building from around Shikoku).

We went Ritsurin Park first because it was nearest … and the other 2 attractions were close together about 5 km away … and we didn’t really care about them that much other than day fillers.

Ritsurin Park was great: giant bonsai everywhere, little bridges conveniently located in areas between land, and even ice cream vendors!

Next stop was the Temple which was pretty good to wander around. All I remember about it was a surviving apple/cherry tree planted by some monk about 800 years ago. He wrote, “If someone asks ‘What tree is this?”, tell them ‘It is my tree.‘” … selfish bastard. 

After that I said stuff like:
“If someone asks whose van is this? Tell them it is Ross’ van.”
and
” If someone asks whose gum this is? Tell them it is Ross’ gum.”
and
“If someone asks whose smell this is? Tell them it is the dog’s smell.”

 

The sleeper attraction was definitely “Shikokumura”.

It started with a cool bridge.

And then went on to produce a sugarcane farm building, a No theatre, old farmhouses, a very old soy sauce factory, ….

old fishing equipment stuff for catching octopuses … or octopi if you are being anal, and even a lighthouse which supposedly was erased from all Japanese maps during WWII because it was very important. I didn’t take a photo of it …  because why break tradition.

During the evening I visited the longest covered shopping arcade in Japan; visited a nice bar/restaurant which had great seafood, but pretty crappy chicken, and  saw this little “Butaman” (pork dumpling shop) which reminded me of Peter Gabriel’s  “Steam“.

The next morning, it was back on the road with only one more stop before back home for rest … and an end to this serialized series.

I’d like to say that I was at highspeeds when I snapped this big rig’s doll collection, but I think my mirror gives me away.

Another traffic jam!

Finally there was the bridge off of Shikoku … and a big Ferris Wheel!

Overall this one day trip to Shikoku was just a teaser. If I’m still blogging next year this time … or this year next time,  it will probably be about a return visit to Japan’s secret island and all the amazing stuff that is … Shikoku!

 

note: the last installment of this series is last … and next!   … and then it will be back to little short small tiny quick fast speedy stuff … hopefully.

double note: little short small tiny quick fast speedy stuff actually takes more thinking than these big long tall lothargic gigantic loquatious lengthy big things.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Theo’s Thoughts

 

 This is the story of Theo when he was eight and not so rottenish yet.

Theo thought he needed a hobby; actually, his parents insisted he do something other than skulk around claiming he was bored all the time.

All his friends had hobbies: sports cards, stamps, coins, trainspotting, advanced robotics, …

One of his friends even collected teeth; but his father was a dentist, so that was only mildly disturbing.

Theo decided to collect his thoughts.

He would put them in jars, label them, and keep them in a bookcase that was really doing nothing except holding a bunch of  books.

He thought about all the thoughts he thought in one day …or at least thought about all the thoughts he thought he thought about in one day … and realized he had too many thoughts to collect all of them.
 He only had 35 jars, so he decided “happy thoughts” might be a good start.

Over the next few weeks he collected and organized all his “happy thoughts” about finding money, ice cream, toys, running through sprinklers, …

In no time at all, all his jars were full!
Surprisingly, 3 jars were exclusively filled with “happy thoughts” about ice cream!

It was a very fine collection of thoughts.

He soon realized that since all his “happy thoughts” were bottled up, labelled, and stacked away; he had a very large number of “sad thoughts” floating around in his head.
With no “happy thoughts” to chase the “sad thoughts” away, they just lingered.

This made him sadder.

Theo decided it would be a good idea to free all his “happy thoughts” and start collecting his “sad thoughts” instead.

He refilled his jars with “sad thoughts” about broken bones, no dessert, vaccination needles, dropped ice cream cones, dentist visits …

 

It took him a whole month to fill up all 35 jars. 

He concluded that “sad thoughts” were more difficult to trap  than “happy thoughts” because they didn’t like jars.

With no more “sad thoughts” in his head, Theo thought he’d be really happy: but he wasn’t.

Without any “sad thoughts” to balance his “happy thoughts“, his “happy thoughts” weren’t as strong or happy anymore …  kind of like appreciating being healthy a lot more after being sick … or how a cold Winter makes Spring’s arrival so much better. He needed both sadly, or happily.

Theo decided to release his “sad thoughts” and resolved  never to collect his thoughts ever again.

He used the 35 jars to catch colds instead.

 

note: The jar of asparaguses on the floor is not a “sad thought“: Theo just dropped it accidentally on purpose while walking by the bookcase on the way to the dinner table. He had a “happy thought” right after he did this for some reason.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Wishful Thinking #5

 

You won’t have to buy any replacement bulbs for your Christmas tree or outdoor lights this year.

 

single scoop: I bet all your strands were neatly wrapped away last year too!

double scoop: Hey Mr. Fly! You’re not eating very fast.

triple scoop: Why hasn’t anyone ever commented on the fact that soft serve ice cream doesn’t come in scoops?

quadruple scoop: If you’ve missed the last 4, they are still here and here and here and here.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Wishful Thinking #4

 

After cutting your own hair badly, you will be able to even it out by yourself.

 

single scoop: it costs nothing to look like an idiot.

double scoop:  Hey Mr. Fly!  Save some for the rest of us!

triple scoop: Why do barbers and hair stylists always show you the back of your head with a mirror? I don’t care what it looks like: I don’t have to look at it.

quadruple scoop: If you’ve missed the last 3, they are still here and here and here.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

It’s Tuesday I’m in Love

 

What if the standard weekend was Wednesday and Thursday.

Would it be …

– Wednesday Night Fever

– T.G.I.T. (Thank God It’s Tuesday)

– Sunday as Humpday

– Friday morning blues

– Wednesday Night’s Alright (For Fighting)

– Ruby Saturday

– Thursdaes

– Tuesday the 13th

note: Don’t worry, I won’t do the months next.

double note: The Bay City Rollers would have had to clap one more time!

triple note: pop-ups and pin-ups: know the difference.

Wishful Thinking #3

 

The person sitting next to you on the airplane will be amazingly sexy and seriously attracted to you.

 

single scoop: I’d be happy if they offered me their dessert.

double scoop: Hey Mr. Fly! There is some very delicious plastic spaghetti over to your left too!

triple scoop: the idea for this one goes to Kelly Pettit.

quadruple scoop: If you’ve missed the last 2, they are still here and here.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

The Crow

 

 

 

Outside the ice cream shop, I saw a big crow struggling with a piece of plastic twine wrapped around its legs.

I tried to help it.

I threw it a pair of scissors and made a cutting motion with my fingers, but that didn’t help.

There was a happy ending though.

I bought an ice cream cone and got free chocolate sprinkles!

note: Can someone be hen-pecked to death?

http://humor-blogs.com/