Tag Archives: hangovers

Drinking

 

Drinking responsibly in the morning doesn’t sound right.

 

note: I don’t drink in the morning; that spot’s reserved for hangovers … or feeling healthy and sober.

double note: why are there “children’s aspirin” … children shouldn’t be waking up with hangovers.

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Today #210

Today I came home from a kindergarten visit, removed my sweaty shirt and saw weird red marks on my stomach. I went to the bathroom mirror to investigate further … and saw a 4 year old’s handprint on my stomach. That little girl must have smacked me pretty hard: it’s still visible 12 hours later!
(it’s like an aboriginal kindergarten cave painting, but on my stomach)

Excessivism

Cusco, Peru  Irish Pub 2006

 

Eating more than you should may save you from leftovers;

but …

drinking more than you should will never save you from hangovers.

 

note: hangovers are just leftovers that you don’t want … and you can’t stick them in to tupperware and hide them at the back of the fridge!

double note: hangunders are just fine.

triple note: being hungunder just means you are over the weather.

quadruple note: photo taken in some Irish Pub in Cusco, Peru in 2006. She’s just faking wastedness. I’m sure I saw her on a table later … and up a lot earlier than me the next day. The Dutch don’t do hangovers.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Happy Island

I have spent many nights on Happy Island, but mornings usually find me hungover and washed up on broke reef.

 

note: it is a pretty cool name for a liquor store though.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Seances

 

 

Seances always look like serious, quiet, and somber events.

Why can’t they be a little more fun and lively?

There must be a happy “medium” somewhere.

note: Why do ouija boards work so much better when you are hungover?

http://humor-blogs.com/

Still Too Much Time

My Failed Restaurant

 Blood Donor Kebabs.

 

 

Knives

 The original cutting edge technology.

 

 

Zamboni

I just love the way that word rolls off my tongue.

 

 

Growing Old

I can’t wait to be old: then I would have an excuse for being such a crap driver.

 

 

Kraft Dinner

Off of the Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner box:

It’s the CHEESIEST.
That’s why more kids and moms love “the one in the Blue Box.”
Right down to the bottom of the bowl.
Kraft Macaroni & Cheese.

Forget kids and moms, I love it too!

 

 

Cats and Tongues

“What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue.”

Who thought that one up?
Were cats once notorious tongue thieves?

I’m going to have nighmares now!!

 

 

Hangovers

There should be a food product call “hangover”.

-I’d like a hangover please.
-Snickers are good, but hangovers are better!
-Can you get me a hangover from the store?
-I had 3 hangovers yesterday

 Yum!

 

 

Big Macs

If you put a Big Mac in a blender and drank it, would it taste the same?

 

 

Crime Drama

Why are there so many Crime Dramas on TV?
I think there should be one titled, “The Proof is in the Pudding”.

At every crime scene, the lead character could say,
“We better check the pudding to solve this one.”

Pudding is good too!

 

 

2 Questions You Don’t Want to Hear

How long can a car drive in first gear with the gas pedal to the floor before it blows up?

Can I borrow your car?

 

 

Clocks

I thought my clock was broken: the second hand didn’t move for a second.

 

 

Bubble Wrap Factory

I bet people are pretty stress free working in a bubble wrap factory.

When the heat comes down, just start popping those bubbles.

I bet there aren’t too many accidents either!

 

 

Alarm Clocks

The sound coming from the clock was alarming!!!

 

 

Chiropractors

It’s just a hunch, but I think you should see a chiropractor!