Tag Archives: haggis

The Haggis

“NOT HAGGIS”

How To Catch A Haggis

The haggis is a sheep-like animal found in Scotland. Its legs are a lot shorter on the leftside of its body than the rightside. This physical trait is an adaptation  to hillside grazing.

To catch a haggis some people chase it uphill: it runs counter-clockwise.

At the top of the hill people are there to scare it. The frightened haggis turns around to flee back downhill, loses its balance because of its shorter left legs, and rolls to the bottom of the hill where other people are waiting for it.

Myself and a friend were travelling in Scotland and met a young naive Australian guy who believed this story.

We emphatically told him the story was bullshit and that haggis was actually:

“sheep’s heart, liver and lungs, minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spice, and salt, mixed with stock, and traditionally boiled in the animal’s stomach for 3 hours”.

Between the “Truths” and “Fair Dinkums” we knew that he didn’t believe us.

I hope he figured it out eventually.

note: I’m still looking for skyhooks, striped paint, the elusive red herring, a snape, and the jackalope.

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