Tag Archives: global warming

Money Making Scheme #13

still cool on the sun!

 

I’m  going to sell non-melting ice.

It’s a simple yet ingenious method: actually I am quite surprised that I thought of it.

Now that I think about it … I don’t know who would really want non-melting ice. Maybe I’ll just throw out all the paperwork and notes on this one and chalk it up as a bad idea.

 

note: “non-melting popsicles” would suck big time … even if you sucked on them big time.

double note: Wow! that opens up a lot of room in my freezer!

triple note: “non-freezing ice” would probably be a better money maker.

quadruple note: the water in my frying pan is from not washing and drying it properly with regular water.

quintuple note: Money Making Scheme #1 and #2 and #3 and #4 and #5 and #6 and #7  and #8  and #9  and #10  and #11  and 12 are still scheming.

sextuple note: I’m off for an adventure this weekend! I think DisneySea may be involved! Have a great weekend! See you (figuratively) on Monday.

 

 http://humor-blogs.com/

Theo’s Thoughts

Collected Thoughts

 

 This is the story of Theo when he was eight and not so rottenish yet.

Theo thought he needed a hobby; actually, his parents insisted he do something other than skulk around claiming he was bored all the time.

All his friends had hobbies: sports cards, stamps, coins, trainspotting, advanced robotics, …

One of his friends even collected teeth; but his father was a dentist, so that was only mildly disturbing.

Theo decided to collect his thoughts.

He would put them in jars, label them, and keep them in a bookcase that was really doing nothing except holding a bunch of  books.

He thought about all the thoughts he thought in one day …or at least thought about all the thoughts he thought he thought about in one day … and realized he had too many thoughts to collect all of them.
 He only had 35 jars, so he decided “happy thoughts” might be a good start.

Over the next few weeks he collected and organized all his “happy thoughts” about finding money, ice cream, toys, running through sprinklers, …

In no time at all, all his jars were full!
Surprisingly, 3 jars were exclusively filled with “happy thoughts” about ice cream!

It was a very fine collection of thoughts.

He soon realized that since all his “happy thoughts” were bottled up, labelled, and stacked away; he had a very large number of “sad thoughts” floating around in his head.
With no “happy thoughts” to chase the “sad thoughts” away, they just lingered.

This made him sadder.

Theo decided it would be a good idea to free all his “happy thoughts” and start collecting his “sad thoughts” instead.

He refilled his jars with “sad thoughts” about broken bones, no dessert, vaccination needles, dropped ice cream cones, dentist visits …

Other Collected Thoughts ... and some asparagus too

 

It took him a whole month to fill up all 35 jars. 

He concluded that “sad thoughts” were more difficult to trap  than “happy thoughts” because they didn’t like jars.

With no more “sad thoughts” in his head, Theo thought he’d be really happy: but he wasn’t.

Without any “sad thoughts” to balance his “happy thoughts“, his “happy thoughts” weren’t as strong or happy anymore …  kind of like appreciating being healthy a lot more after being sick … or how a cold Winter makes Spring’s arrival so much better. He needed both sadly, or happily.

Theo decided to release his “sad thoughts” and resolved  never to collect his thoughts ever again.

He used the 35 jars to catch colds instead.

 

note: The jar of asparaguses on the floor is not a “sad thought“: Theo just dropped it accidentally on purpose while walking by the bookcase on the way to the dinner table. He had a “happy thought” right after he did this for some reason.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Greenhouses

I bet greenhouse manufacturers don’t like their product being associated with global warming:

Greenhouse Gases, Greenhouse Emissions, Greenhouse Effect.

Describing global warming using the greenhouse analogy is pretty easy to understand, but probably a lot of people subconsciously believe greenhouses are bad or at least look on them suspiciously.

In the summer, they are definitely bad to work in.

At 19 a friend and I removed the old plastic coverings from 10 large greenhouses. That was hot work: we sweated like crazy working inside them.

I guess we could have removed the plastic from the outside, but we were 19 and not so smart.

They should put air-conditioners in those things!

 

note: If you are in a greenhouse during an earthquake, you don’t have to worry about being buried alive in the rubble. And if you are buried alive, people will be able to spot you quickly.