Optical Allusions

 

Are farsighted people the ones who buy glasses long before they need them?

… and nearsighted people the ones who buy glasses after they need them?

It seems a funny way to describe people who have glasses.

I’ll stick to four eyes.

 

note: I use glasses for reading and drinking most of the time now … I never used to though.

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Today #188

Today my eye colour was blurry.

Glasses

 

Over the past year I’ve had to wear my glasses more and more: at work, on the computer, and whenever I read anything.

I actually don’t mind wearing glasses that much.

I never wear them when I drive at night though.

They are sunglasses.

 

note: I thought I was wearing a glass slipper once, but it was just a chunk of beer bottle in my foot.

double note: prescription glass eyes would be cool!

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Today #34

Today I dillied, but I didn’t dally.

Once Again Yet Another Still More Too Much Time

 

Stock Features

Tall people have built in ladders.

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Urinals

Having a urinal at home would be cool.
Having 2 side by side would just be creepy.

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People Who Fly

…should have fragile stickers … not their luggage.

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A Cylinderella Story

Do chambermaids clean guns?

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Antarctica

If Antarctica became a country I bet Australians wouldn’t mention that “down under” stuff any more.

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Rumors

What are all these people doing “rumor milling around“?

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Vicariously

Living vicarelessly through others sounds almost dangerous!

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One

Standing out in a crowd of one seems easier than blending in to a crowd of one.
… or does that even make sense?

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I Don’t Know

If you don’t have an opinion are you “nopinionated“?

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Vicious Crop Circles

I guess being the cream of the crop is really good … unless we’re talking about corn.
… I don’t like that creamed corn stuff.

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Re: Fractions

When it comes to needing glasses, it’s more 50/50 than 20/20.
… but they both mean 100% for some reason.

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It Dependages

Some people’s arms and legs are pretty extreme … or possibly pretty extremities …  if they have 2 or 3 good looking ones.

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Politics

When a political party wins by a wide margin it’s a “landslide“. Why isn’t a very narrow margin victory called a “falling rock“?

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The Perfect Solution

If you have an ice cream headache you should take ice cream aspirin.

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The Ends Are Fraying

I abhor, detest, despise, and loath people who describe everything in absolute extremes.

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Shopping

I don’t care if I shop in different clothing stores. I’m an indifferent clothing shopper maybe.

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Ruining On My Parade

A lot of people are on the roads to ruins … Machu Picchu and Ankor Wat seem quite popular.

 

note: here are the other ones. You can probably figure out what order they go in.

Yet Another “Still More Too Much Time”

Another Still More Too Much Time

Still More Too Much Time

Still Too Much Time

Too Much Time

 

double note: I probably could have written more in this series, but Twitter is a good toilet for depositing and flushing these things usually recently up until now at the moment.

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notes to myself #120

What you do and who you are are not really related … but I think we are.

Invisible Lines

 

Why is it okay to try on someone’s glasses and say, “Man! your eyesight is messed up.” … or hop around on someone with a broken leg’s crutches and say, “How can you hobble around on these things?”

but … if you try to wheel yourself around in someone’s wheelchair or put someone’s toupee on, you are the biggest prick in the world!

There should be a rulebook or something about this.

 

note: hearing aids … I don’t know about.

double note: if I’ve offended anyone, I haven’t meant to.

triple note: this is the best Christmas present I have received for a very long time. Someone is a mad person!!!!!

*SPECIAL NOTE: I think I’ve put on 5 entries tonight. I may have other stuff to do this weekend … but maybe not.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Money Making Scheme #9

 

I’m going to sell prescription drinking glasses.

This should prevent people from getting blind drunk.

 

note: maybe a shot glass monocle would be more practical.

double note: if these prove profitable, prescription drinking … sunglasses, reading glasses, and magnifying glasses could be next.

triple note: “no-stain stain glass prescription drinking glasses” is difficult to say.

quadruple note: Money Making Scheme #1 and #2 and #3 and #4 and #5 and #6 and #7  and #8  are still scheming.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/