Tag Archives: forks

Does “Slim To None” Mean “Slim To All”?

 

I’ve never found a diamond in the rough,

… but I’ve found a few golf balls there!

 

note: actually, I don’t golf as much as I’d dislike to.

double note: I could find a needle in a haystack … with a match and a metal detector.

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Today #337

Today I slapped on my slippers. Why aren’t they called “slappers“?
They kind of slap on the floor and aren’t too slippery really.

Utensilliness

 

Why are chopsticks a cool gift, but not a single fork?

 

note: I wish these chopsticks had different names; it’s confusing. I’m not sure which one goes in which hand!

double note: I want a set that are engraved with “this side up“.

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Today #255

I have an alibi for today, but not an alihello.

Chopsticks

 

I bet people could eat faster if they used 3 chopsticks.

… and put some sort of handle on the end of them.

 

note: I’m never chopstick stuck … I have quite a few pairs.

double note: chopsticks aren’t really good for chopping things; … they should be called pick-up sticks … but I guess some game company has trademarked that name … or it might get confused with sticks on the ground … that someone wants picked up. 

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Today #164

Today was like an evolving door.

Electricity

 

As I watched my friend reach for a knife in an attempt to dig the stuck piece of bread out of the toaster, I stopped him and suggested …

“I think a fork might work better.”

note: I’m helpful like that sometimes.

double note: You are correct; that is a coin bank cleverly placed in the wall. When you put coins in to it something happens, but it’s a surprise!

http://humor-blogs.com/

A Stabbing

No one was paying any attention, so I stabbed it.

I didn’t quite get the penetration I wanted the first time.

I lined it up  and stabbed it again: metal through skin.

The little bugger never saw it coming. It didn’t have a chance.

Just sitting there innocently one minute, and then impaled the next.

It didn’t scream or wriggle. It just accepted its fate.

 

I don’t think I did anything wrong.

I can’t get into trouble for this.

I’m going to do it again.

I’m a repeat offender.

I love pickles!

Utensil Trays

Is it just me, or are plastic utensil trays, found in most kitchen drawers, a piece of crap.
They universally seem to be not long, wide, or big enough.
Between forks, knives, and spoons; something doesn’t fit properly.

Someone should have figured out and fixed this flawed design by now!

Come on plastic tray maker people, pull you plastic fingers out of your plastic asses and smarten up.