Tag Archives: fleeing flea markets

The Measures

The Weights and Measures 

The Measure family lived a half mile out of town in a semi-detached house on a quarter acre lot in the “Wuthering Heights” subdivision. Some people thought the area was named after the nearby heath and cliff; others, thought it was given the name because it was boring like the book.

Mr. Measure was a surveyor and Mrs. Measure a pharmacist. They had one child together named Milli.

Milli Measure

Since her parents had been married once or twice before, Milli had three half-brothers which she collectively called her one and a half brothers. She had a step-sister she referred to as her quarter sister; and she had an adopted sister who was one eighth something, so she called her Susan.

Many times the siblings were divided on issues, but they usually met each other halfway.
All the children were loved equally by their parents and often Mr. Measure would proudly exclaim, “When it comes to our family, there are no half-Measures!

They had a pet quarter-horse that was half thoroughbred and half whole grain, named Raisin; but the children called it Edward Furlong for some reason.

Edward Furlong  a.k.a Raisin

The Measures had a yard sale to raise money for their favorite charity, ” The Halfway Green House for House Plants” which grew house plants and promoted “Being Green Around The House” and wished to combat dehouseplantation because deforestation was too big to combat with only one greenhouse and limited funds raised from the charity box at their onsite gas station.

A big turn out turned out for the Measures’ yard sale.
Their wares included: square shoes for square feet in various sizes; half pants with a few holes in them and whole pants with half as many holes in them as the half pants; antique coffee table spoons; uncletique half pipes for snowboarders; old games with missing pieces and missing pieces for old games; weigh scales, piano scales, and alligator scales from Alligator shirts made in China; and garden metrognomes.

garden variety metrognome

 

They also sold: half slices of pizza and watermelon, quarter cupcakes, full half cups of coffee, and hamburgers that they had no idea how much meat were in them!

Mr. Measure went around shouting half orders to everyone and by the end of the day most of the Measures were going half out of their minds and were half fed up.
Eventually half of everything was sold which was almost everything because everything was pretty much half to begin with.

The Measures raised enough money for “The Halfway Green House For House Plants” that the charity was able to build another greenhouse and change their name to “The Wholeway Halfway Green Houses For House Plants And Semi-Tropical Ferns“.

 

note: I’d mention their neighbors “The Weights“, but that’s a heavy subject.

Mr. Weight waiting

 

 

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