“Hey! You can’t practice fish here! This is a practice swimming area!”
I shouted to the man while laying on the ground with my mask and snorkel.
note: really, how does someone know that they don’t have enough time to fish? … It could just take a minute.
double note: I think this guy is crazy. I’m sure the dogs in the park scared away the fish long ago.
Today I missed shaving just by a whisker.
Posted in comedy, funny, hobbies, humor, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized
Tagged fishing, humor, humour, practice fishing
It really bothers me when someone starts yelling and screaming at me.
I didn’t do anything!
… usually I just move the boat further away from them. La la la.
Man! What’s that guy’s problem? Now he’s waving too!
I don’t know him!
… I wave back anyway: I’m nice like that sometimes.
note: a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich would be very cool. Maybe the peanut butter part would take the sting out of it. Let me know.
double note: If you are on a deserted island … then it’s not really deserted anymore, is it?
notes to myself #114
Oxo cubes aren’t made from oxen.
oh yeah! … it’s oxen not oxes.
Consider this a twofer.
Posted in comedy, funny, humor, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized
Tagged deserted islands, drowning not waving, fishing, humor, la la la, no ice cream, oxen, oxo cubes, peanut butter and jellyfish, screaming, waving, yelling
“I never read it in a book
I never saw it on a show
But I heard it in the alley
On the weird radio”
from “If You Wanna Get To Heaven” by Ozark Mountain Daredevils
I can’t remember too much stuff I studied in High School: it’s all fragments and things disappearing around corners now.
However, I probably remember every song lyric I heard between 13 and 18 years old.
If there had been cool songs explaining Biology, Chemistry, Physics, and Algebra; I bet I would have …
– cured my lack of facial hair
– distilled a potion that made me irresistible to the opposite sex
– invented a way to win at PacMan
– built a Death Star in the shape of AC/DC‘s Angus Young‘s guitar.
Sadly for me the education through song portion of my fountain of knowledge dried up soon after “The Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round”.
note: probably the most educational song I know is Monty Python‘s Universe Song.
double note: I might have even invented “flubber” if I had had enough money to buy records!
triple note: How cool was Fred MacMurray? Pretty cool! I kid you not!
quadruple note: “I studied so hard for the test that I lost my voice.”
quintuple note: sometimes the wheels on the bus don’t go round and round.
sextuple note: In the fantasy realm of educational songs …
The Rolling Stones: physics
The Beatles: entomology
Led Zeppelin: alchemy and aeronautics
The Animals: zoology
The Cars: automotive
ZZ Top: hair dressing school
David Bowie: biology
The Clash: art of war or fashion
The Police: criminology
Dr. Hook: medicine or possibly fishing
Men At Work: business
The Doors: doors
AC/DC: the study of electricity
Crowded House: demographics
The Romantics: dead English poets you had to study in school
U2: spyware and spies and stuff
septuple note: I was going to include “Oasis: proctology” … but they weren’t around in my musical absorption period.
octuple note: Cheap Trick is more my life style.
Posted in comedy, funny, humor, language, life, music, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged AC/DC, aeronautics, alchemy, algebra, Angus Young, Ariel Sharon, art of war, automotive, biology, business, Cheap Trick, chemistry, criminology, Crowded House, david bowie, dead English poets, Death Stars, demographics, doors, Dr. Hook, electricity, entomology, facial hair, fashion, fishing, flubber, forgettings stuff, Fred MacMurray, hair dressing school, high school, humor, If You Want To Get To Heaven, irresistible or mildly attractive, Led Zeppelin, medicine, Men At Work, Monty Python, My Sharona, Oasis, Ozark Mountain Daredevils, PacMan, physics, proctology, song lyrics, spies, spy stuff, spyware, the 70s, the 80s, The Animals, The Beatles, The Cars, The Clash, The Doors, The Knack, The Police, The Rolling Stones, The Romantics, The State of Israel as told by The Knack!, The Wheels on the Bus, U2, UB40, unemployment, Universe Song, zoology, ZZ Top
Mountain Climbing and Fishing are almost the same.
When a person has to cut the line … a life is saved and someone is usually not very happy.
note: sometimes the line has to be cut with yoyos and kites, but it’s usually not so dramatic or very life threatening.
double note: Mountain Climbing Rule #1: don’t go climbing with people carrying knives.
triple note: How many climbers actually have to make that rope cutting decision? It seems to happen all the time in the movies … kind of like someone always saving the planet by driving an adrift space nuclear arsenal or a rogue meteor away from Earth.
quadruple note: I’m definitely not going climbing with Chris O’Donnell … or watching another one of his movies.
quintuple note: Ever since “Vertical Limit“, I’ve been waiting for “Diagonal Limit” and “Horizontal Limit” to come out!
Posted in comedy, funny, health, hobbies, humor, life, movies, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized
Tagged Chris O'Donnell, climbing movies, cutting strings, cutting the rope in mountain climbing, Diagonal Limit will not be so good, don't trust mountain climbers with knives, drama queens, fishing, Horizontal Limit will be pretty tame, how many times has bruce willis or sylvester stallone saved the world?, humor, kites, mountain climbers with spoons or forks are okay, mountain climbing, narrow escapes for fish, rogue meteors, similarities, space movies, Vertical Limit, yoyos
Are there “sun delays” at umbrella tournaments?
note: I don’t think I ever really own umbrellas, as they always lose me outside of bars.
double note: Catch and release: just like fishing.
Posted in comedy, funny, humor, life, personal, random, random thoughts, sports, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, weather, words
Tagged fishing, humor, losing stuff that I really need sometimes, rain, tournaments, umbrellas
Bait companies pay golf courses for the rights to collect worms.
The golf course’s large clear area with short grass is the perfect place to find worms easily. At night, equipped with miner’s lights on their heads and coffee cans strapped to their ankles, worm catchers harvest the worms.
Finally a benefit to golf!!
note: How do I know this? I used to pack worms for a bait and tackle supplier.
double note: I’ll have the “Golf Course”: a clubhouse sandwich with greens and tee served with a wedge of lemon.
Posted in comedy, funny, golf, humor, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play
Tagged bait, clubhouse sandwiches, coffee cans, Dune, fishing, golf courses, humor, miner's lights, worms
Why do people use worms to catch fish?
Fish eat worms, but usually not ones just floating around in the middle of nowhere.
They probably don’t even know what they are.
Those fish must be really hungry, or have bad eye sight.
Now if you are trying to catch a bird, I bet worms work great!
note: What do you use to catch worms: smaller worms?
double note: to catch piranha a bit of human works great.
Posted in comedy, food, funny, humor, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized
Tagged bait, birds, fish, fishing, humor, piranha, worms