Fashionably Loud

 

 

I don’t follow fashion,

but to be fair

… it doesn’t follow me around either.

 

note: people who read fashion magazines are material witnesses.

double note: tailors, farmers, and uncaring people like to sew/so.

triple note: double stitching is so-so.

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Today #16

Today is the first day of the rest of your life … but so were all the others.
I guess people can only print so much on buttons and fridge magnets.

Tum Ti Tum Tum

 

 

Walking to your own special beat is fine.

Walking to your own special beet is only for farmers, weirdos  … and maybe people who can’t spell well.

 

note: sometimes being normal is the best way to go … because really … who brushes their teeth with a spoon?

double note: being named Norm Al Jones isn’t very original … or is it?

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Today #8

Today the eggs scrambled … there must have been a warning about an air strike.

Arms And Legs

 

People are very attached to arms and legs, but what if their names were switched.

Would there be …

Kids playing with Armo

Arm warmers and armings

Governments passing Armislation

Peg Arms

A movement to armalize marijuana

People in court alarming stuff

Alarmories in stories

Armhold traps

A French Foreign Armion

An “ABW” in cricket

Armolas in “The Lord of the Rings”

3 armed races

A “Pledge of Alarmiance” in the U.S.

The term alarmro in music

A  ZZ Top song called “Arms”
“she’s got arms
and she knows how to use them”

… or a Rod Stewart one named “Hot Arms”

“Open Legs” by Journey or “Brothers in Legs” from Dire Straits

A blegaid pouring my beer

Legged guards for legored vehicles

Legani suits

Legadillos

Neil Legstrong or Lance Legstrong

Fire Allegs

Flegers growing stuff

Legies and Legistices

Plegesan cheese or Plegigiano Reggiano for people who know more about cheese than me … or I … or myself

Legpits

One Legged Bandits

a Spanish Legada

Blegitzvahs

Swlegs of bees

or

A cult following for “Legy of Darkness”?

 

note: I guess arm and leg wrestling would still be similar … and possibly 4 arms on a legchair would be quite normal.

Leg bands and Arm bands would mess a lot of people and birds up though.

double note: if you don’t like this entry, you will definitely not like Salt And Pepper … and may be mildly antagonistic towards It’s Tuesday I’m In Love.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Neckties

 

A necktie is 100% eye candy.

It has no non-fashion function; except …

it makes a great tourniquet!

People have this necktie business all backwards!

Farmers, lumberjacks, and other professions with a high rate of “tourniquet required” related accidents should be wearing neckties; and business people, office workers, and other low risk “tourniquet wanting” professionals should stop wearing them.

 

note:

 

double note: maybe future former necktie wearers could wean themselves off the habit by wearing identity card holders with a little sign saying they gave the price of a necktie to a charity.

triple note: It must be Tony Orlando and Dusk by now.

quadruple note: Is the car driving in front of the “NOTE” a “BLOG“?

 

quintuple note: I’m still scarce this weekend.

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Driving Tan

 

When I drive on a sunny day, I roll down my window and suck in that fresh air.

Actually, my air-conditioner is pretty crappy, so I can either sweat it out or have that nice fresh air I was talking about in the first sentence.

I get a pretty good driving tan most years. People drive on the left side of the road here in Japan, so it’s my right arm that gets really brown.

I think of my driving tan as a cheap status symbol.

“Yes, I’ve been driving a lot recently; thank you for noticing. Why yes, the sun was out while I was driving.”

Most Japanese people drive with their windows rolled up tight and the air-con blasting. If they do have a window rolled down, it’s usually because they are at a drive-thru window picking up burgers. A lot of women wear long gloves to protect themselves from driving tan, or any other type of tanning. At least I think that is why they wear those long gloves; I could be wrong. Maybe they are all going to fancy garden parties where they eat cucumber sandwiches with no crusts and drink barely alcoholic drinks from long glasses.

Some people have a farmer’s tan; a lot of farmers have it for some reason. It looks ok, until the shirt comes off and then it just looks sad. Unless it is on a shirtless woman, then it looks pretty good.

I like the driving tan look better than the farmer tan look. 

But that’s just me.

I’m a driver, not a farmer. And I have the tan to prove it!

note: I guess a lot of farmers have driving tans, but you just can’t see them. Poor farmers.