Tag Archives: eye patches

If I Had 3 Eyes, …

 little green man wind-up


If I had 3 eyes, …

I’d probably wear a hat instead of sunglasses.

I’d hope one eye was blind so I could wear an eye patch.

“trinocular vision” might be difficult to get used to.

I’d hope one wasn’t on my ass … because then I’d have to cut a little hole in my pants to see anything.

would people call me 6 eyes if I wore glasses?

eye tests would be interesting!

I’d probably get sick of  the “little green men” costume on Halloween.

I might say “See you later … and later … and later” just for fun.

I’d yell “Come on ref! Do you only have 2 eyes or something!” at sporting events.

I could have a lucrative career as an actor … in horror movies.

I’d probably have to tell people, “No I don’t have eyes in the back of my head; just 3 up front”.

binoculars would be a bitch, but telescopes would be no problem.

I’d have bags under all 3 of them probably.

I’d hope they were all the same color.

if the 3rd one was on my ass I’d hope it didn’t have an eyebrow too … because that could get itchy.

I’d be an open target for that 3 Stooges “eye poke” routine.

I might sell one on e-bay if times got hard.

I bet my nickname at school would be “Eye Soceles” or maybe just “Triangle”.

I’d hope my eyelids blinked at the same time!


note: If I met someone with 4 eyes, I’d be envious.



Field of Vision


As I watched the object slowly appear to get larger and larger; I stood transfixed, mesmerized, and lost in thought about how “depth perception” was an amazing process of eye and brain working together in perfect unison.

How long did it take humans to develop such an incredible ability?

I was pondering this question searching for the answer …

And then it hit me!


Fuckin’ baseball.


note: never play baseball with an eye patch.

double note: photo taken at the Salar de Uyuni, Bolivia.

triple note: I’m not that small really … it’s your depth perception messing with you.




Why do people think I’m Australian when I say, “No worries, matey”?

I’m not Australian.

I’m a frickin’ Pirate!


note: an “eye patch” isn’t a field where you grow eyes.