Drinking responsibly in the morning doesn’t sound right.
note: I don’t drink in the morning; that spot’s reserved for hangovers … or feeling healthy and sober.
double note: why are there “children’s aspirin” … children shouldn’t be waking up with hangovers.
Today I came home from a kindergarten visit, removed my sweaty shirt and saw weird red marks on my stomach. I went to the bathroom mirror to investigate further … and saw a 4 year old’s handprint on my stomach. That little girl must have smacked me pretty hard: it’s still visible 12 hours later!
(it’s like an aboriginal kindergarten cave painting, but on my stomach)
Posted in comedy, funny, humor, language, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged aboriginal kindergarten cave painting, aspirin, boooze goes into triples, booze, children's aspirin, drinking, drinking in the morning, drinking responsibly, feeling healthy, handprint on my stomach, hangovers, humor, humour, hungover, kitchen sink renovations, sober
I have spent many nights on Happy Island, but mornings usually find me hungover and washed up on broke reef.
note: it is a pretty cool name for a liquor store though.
Posted in comedy, funny, humor, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, words
Tagged alcohol, booze, broke, broke reef, drinking, grog, hangovers, happy island, humor, hungover, I will never drink again, liquor stores
If dental floss gets stuck between your teeth, what do you use to get it out; more dental floss?
It would be great if this was the solution for all problems:
– Have a flat tire … make it flatter … good as new!
– Drank too much … drink more … sober in no time!
– Lost money gambling … lose more … jackpot!
– Burnt your dinner … burn it more … mmm delicious!
note: Don’t like this blog … don’t like it more … ah! that’s better!
Posted in comedy, funny, humor, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized
Tagged dental floss, drinking, eating, flat tires, gambling, gingerbread men, humor
I’ve been listening to people making speeches for over an hour now.
When are they going to bring out the bread?
Stupid Toastmasters’ meeting.
note: In some countries it’s rude if you don’t make eye contact while making a toast. That’s why I always have a mirror with me.
Posted in comedy, funny, humor, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play
Tagged bread, cheers, drinking, humor, meetings, toast, toastmasters, toasts