Tag Archives: doctors

The Perineum

gynecologist snowman

I call the dentist and doctor
a “pair of neum”
I rarely see ’em.


note: I’ll blame Ogden Nash  , a bit of insomnia, and my father for this one.




broken clock


I love time; or more importantly the illusion of time.

I like the feeling of having time: excess time, squandering time, puttering time.

I go to work early, so I don’t feel rushed. I always have plenty of time, but I do it anyway.

I enjoy going to bed knowing I have a lot of free time in the morning to sleep in. I never do, but the feeling comforts me.

I love open ended vacations:  just go until the money or myself runs out.  Before a short holiday, the sense of not enough time looms large.  I usually come back satisfied that I did everything I wanted to, but the “not enough time” feeling returns while thinking about the next short holiday.

I plan for a day off once I’m back from a short holiday too. I might really have nothing to do but laundry; but I need it anyway.

Maybe I stay away from doctors because I want to keep the ultimate illusion of having time: time to do everything.

Maybe I just don’t like doctors.

Time is great; but for me, the illusion of time is better.

It’s the illusion that keeps me ticking most days.


note: I’m on a few of my “squandering time” days at the moment. I have a few more planned before I go back to work.

double note: I don’t think I’m going to like growing old very much. There won’t be enough time to do it. But I hope I get the chance to do it anyway.



Witch Doctors

“Witch” doctors should really emphasize preventative medicine.




 I tried making a new soup yesterday: “Leech Soup

The Emergency Room Doctor said I probably didn’t cook them long enough.


note: Leech Soup  sucks!

double note: I think I’ll hold off on making that “road applepie for a while.




I don’t like going to the doctor. I try to stay away.

If I have a small problem, a doctor probably can’t do anything better than to reassure me that it will go away with time and rest.

In Australia I scraped my big toe; it didn’t heal.
I wore sandals all the time and it didn’t hurt, so I ignored it.
When the scrape covered over with a soft milky green scab, I started to pay attention.
One day a friend asked me if I could feel anything on my big toe?
I looked down to see about 10 ants feasting on my scab.

I jumped around, screamed, and stamped my foot trying to remove them.
I eventually had to physically pick them off with my fingers.

After thinking about it for a while, I decided to let the ants work on my big toe.

2 days later, my toe was like new!

I wonder if ants can fix broken bones as well.