Are carrots good for eye sight because they have vitamins and stuff in them?
… or is it because they are bright orange and easy to see?
note: I can’t afford a reflective vest, so I just ride my bicycle at night with a pumpkin, some oranges, and a few carrots.
“No I won’t sell you any of these things!!! I’m not riding home in the dark! Duh!”
double note: okay I’ll show you the rabbit!
triple note: The carrot or the stick? … why can’t I just have carrot sticks?
notes to myself #17
Do not eat 5 Whoppers at Burger King in Budapest: the 5th one is going to have you sitting on the toilet for a week.
Don’t be such a pig! … only eat 4 Whoppers.
Posted in comedy, food, funny, humor, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized
Tagged biding ricycles at night, boring people in exciting costumes, bright orange, Budapest, carrot and stick analogy, carrot sticks to the roof of my mouth, carrots, deflective vests would be nice, diarrhea, easy to see like cows, eye sight, food poisoning, giant rabbits, humor, nightvision? my ass! ... it was all "radar" cover ups and RAF propaganda!, oranges, pumpkins, reflective vests, reflective vests really think a lot, whoppers
My life is very constipated … or like some other word that sounds like that … or similar … or almost the same but different … or very close to that one but with a different meaning.
note: being constipated requires constant patience … that’s why it’s called “constipatience“.
double note: the above drawing is an advertisement from one of those fake newspapers they sell in cowboy tourist traps: mine said “Ross Janes: Wanted Dead or Alive, but Mostly Dead“. The newspaper is long gone, but I’ve kept this stupid drawing for 36 years or so. I don’t know why.
triple note: With the help of my knowledgeable friend Kelly Pettit , I am now the owner of a printer/scanner/photo making thingey. I scanned this drawing by myself and everything!
quadruple note: Yes, I know the little guy in the drawing probably has diarrhea, but … diarrhea is toilet humor while constipation is technically not toilet humor.
Posted in comedy, funny, health, humor, language, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged constipated, constipatience is a virtue, constipational hazard, diarrhea, fake newspapers with fake headlines, humor, kelly pettit, not toilet humor, photo making thingeys, possibly Carson City, printers, scanners, words that sound similar but maybe don't mean the same thing
Verbal Diarrhea is the noisy killer.
treatment: go talk to someone else about it.
1. non-verbal diarrhea is the silent killer, but less stressful to people close by.
2. nounal diarrhea is common and proper, but for some it’s an abstract idea.
IF YOU ARE SICK, GO SEE A REAL DOCTOR.
I’m in the health care field, not the sick care field.
*the above drawing is from a therapeutic massage place
Posted in comedy, funny, health, humor, language, life, medical, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged ailments, diarrhea, Doc Tari, health care, humor, I am a sufferer, medical diagnoses, medical treatments, noisy killers, nouns, open mouth surgery, sick care, verbal diarrhea, verbs