Being a human is like eaten corn: we are both just passing through a system.
Hopefully humans look the same when they come out on the otherside … like corn does.
note: digestive system or solar system … it’s the same thing really.
Today I had my first health-check in 20 years. It went quite well, I thought.
I left some blood, stool, and urine; but they let me leave … and smiled a lot.
Posted in comedy, funny, health, humor, language, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged corn, digestive system, health, heart, humans, humor, humour, passing through, solar system, sparkplugs
Here are the facts about rice in Japan:
the average tan produces happyo per year.
Just thought you should know … in case you were interested.
in other words:
The average field/paddy is 99.9 square meters (or 300 x 2 tatami mats) and produces 480kg of rice. (1056lbs)
note: from my source: the average person nowadays eats only 60kg (132lbs) of rice a year at home due to restaurants … and potatoes, bread, and pasta being readily available. I probably eat about 40 kg a year at home and another 40 kg while out and about.
How much rice do you eat?
double note: I don’t know how much wheat, corn, or potatoes grow in the average wheat, corn or potato field, but I’m sure there are wheat, corn, and potato farmers telling their Japanese teachers the facts at this very moment.
triple note: my source is old school, so I’m sure he eats about 100kg of rice a year … and other people not so much.
quadruple note: what the hell is a bushel? Farmers all over the world need to update their lingo!
Today passed by faster than a kidney stone!
Posted in comedy, culture, food, funny, humor, Japan, life, living abroad, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized
Tagged 480kg per rice paddy, corn, Japan, Japanese teachers in Saskatchewan Idaho/P.E.I. Iowa, kidney stones, Nipponderings, old school, potatoes, rice, wheat
I don’t want a balanced meal when I eat fast food.
I want an unbalanced one that slides down that little burger chute quickly.
note: McDonald’s is selling sweet corn niblets in Japan. … and it’s pretty expensive too!
double note: why do I always have to look up McDonald’s to see how to spell it?
I love corn!
I just would never in a million years order a bowl of niblets in a restaurant.
Is it because it’s too ordinary? No.
I’d order toast, an egg, a potato or even a glass of milk.
It’s probably because I know someone is just opening up a can in the kitchen and heating it a bit.
There’s just not enough work involved.
… and I know it only costs about 50 cents a can.
quadruple note: if they can make multi-vitamins in pill form, why can’t they just stick all those vitamins and minerals into the meat?
quintuple note: I’m starting to sound all Soylent Green in my best Charlton Hestone.
sextuple note: Charlton Heston was born John Charles Carter in No Man’s Land, Illinois. I’m not making this up! … there really is a place called Illinois!
septuple note: “fasting food” chains aren’t very popular … and don’t have any combo deals.
notes to myself #117
Once the “no dessert unless you eat all your vegetables” phase of your life passes … you really start eating unhealthy.
Posted in advertising, comedy, food, funny, humor, Japan, language, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged balanced diets, Charlton Heston, corn, fast food chains, fasting food chains, humor, Illinois, Japan, McDonalds, niblets, no dessert until you finish all your vegetables, No Man's Land, no vegetables until you finish all your dessert, Soylent Green, sweet corn, unbalanced diets
Have you ever had déjà vu?
I always seem to get it about 8 hours after eating corn.
note: Is ” déjà voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir” when you think you’ve already asked someone to have sex with you in French?
Posted in comedy, food, funny, humor, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play
Tagged corn, corn is good, deja vu, humor, Mark Hess
3 Things I Don’t Eat
asparagus, esophagus, sarcophagus.
Model Ships in Bottles
Big Deal! I want to see a large ship in a massive bottle. Now that would be cool!
They breed like rabbits.
Barbers in Seville
I bet they get tired of that joke.
Self Exploratory Surgery
Don’t go there girlfriend!
Why do I have them? I didn’t eat corn.
They’re just big plastic bags.
The Great White Shark
What’s so great about it? I’ve never seen a regular white shark to compare it with.
Nudists and Adam
I bet they don’t have the “lint in the belly button” problem.
I was doing fine until the training wheels came off.
note: if you missed the first 3 in this series and you are a glutton for punishment:
Posted in comedy, funny, humor, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged adam, asparagus, barbers, cobwebs, corn, dust bunnies, esophagus, greenhouses, humor, model ships, nudists, sarcophagus, sharks, unicycles