Portraitor!

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A student drew a picture of me while waiting around for another student to show up for class.
She started with the hair, then drew a line … that I thought were eyebrows, and then she drew the eyebrows!!!

Kids are pretty observant.

The other kid showed up for class, so I don’t know if she observed my wrinkly shirt as well.

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note: kids are brutally honest … or honestly brutal.

double note: today’s word is “Shiwa” or wrinkles.

triple note: I don’t teach an art class.

Children

 

When I look at a child, I see the future.

When I look at a bunch of children, I usually see toys I want to play with … and stressed out playground equipment.

If I saw all the children of the world together, I’d be thinking I hadn’t brought enough spaghetti and balloons.

I’ll stick to looking at children individually … from a distance … and thinking about that future stuff.

 

note: acorns and unicorns don’t fall far from the tree … although the unicorns might have broken legs.

double note: my mother always said she stopped having children because she got a perfect one (me). … I must have inherited some of my “full of shit” quality from her … although I think my father would be charged with 80% responsibility, if I were a car accident.

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Today #187

Today was somewhere between dog shit on the shoe and winning the lottery.

Joking And Croaking

 

During the weekdays from Spring to Fall, I wake up to children joking on their way to school and fall asleep to frogs croaking in the rice fields.

These 2 sounds are the bookends to my day.

On weekends and holidays I am bookendless …

and don’t have those annoying kids waking me up so damn early every morning!

I kind of miss the frogs in the Winter though.

 

note: frogs don’t croak when they croak.

double note:

Margaret, are you grieving
Over Goldengrove unleaving?

“No it’s those bloody kids outside the window again!”

(apologies to Gerald Manley Hopkins)

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

It’s A Puzzle

Have you ever watched children do a jigsaw puzzle?

They all attack it differently: some concentrate on the piece shapes, some focus on colors or images, some look for edge pieces, …

But …

when the puzzle gets dumped out of the box, and before most of the pieces are turned over, there is usually one overly excited kid who grabs the first 2 pieces he or she can get their hands on and tries to join them.

The child is always extremely surprised when they don’t fit together and then carries on by grabbing 2 more random pieces.

That kid is the eternal optimist in the bunch.

Life hasn’t made him or her methodical or calculating yet.

I like that;

… and the puzzles last a lot longer too!

 

note: I’m an “edge pieces first” person. Thanks for asking.

double note: If you’ve got 5 corners, something’s wrong.

triple note: the top puzzle is my next project!

quadruple note: You may think it’s strange, but I don’t like crossword puzzles. A good “word jumble” is nice though.

quintuple note: I wrote about puzzles  a long time ago. (before “notes“,  “humorblog” links, and medium sized photos even)

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

The Blue Monkey #9

The Blue Monkey predicts:

In our lifetime  shoelaces will become obsolete.

However, children will still be laughed at for not being able to fasten their velcro straps.

 

note:

The blue monkey is a lesser oracle who predicts what may happen, not what will happen. He has studied many different disciplines on his path to enlightenment, including: using ouija boards, reading horoscopes, counting cherry pits, blowing out birthday candles, opening fortune cookies, pulling wishbones, watching Kung Fu reruns, listening to the weatherman, twisting apple stems, and shaking the Magic 8 Ball. All behold the blue monkey!

BEHOLD: The Blue Monkey #1
             The Blue Monkey #2
             The Blue Monkey #3
             The Blue Monkey #4
             The Blue Monkey #5
             The Blue Monkey #6
             The Blue Monkey #7
             The Blue Monkey #8

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

Witch Doctors

“Witch” doctors should really emphasize preventative medicine.

http://humor-blogs.com/

GPS for Children

 

Having children monitored with a Global Positioning Satellite System is wrong.

It would take all the fun out of “Hide and Seek”.

What next?

flat slides, merry go straights, and no touch tag!!!

 

note: “Where were you hiding?”

          “I was inside the horse carcass. haha!!”

 

http://humor-blogs.com/

A Popularity Contest

 

I teach English in Japan: a lot of my students are children.

I have the following 5 toys/games sitting on my desk at work.

Which do you think is the most popular?  (cast your vote now: see below for grand prize)

1. Cube World: interchangeable cubes with stick-men doing funny things, visiting their neighbours, and doing more funny things. Each has a little game you can play too! Please don’t drop them, they were expensive!

                                            

     2.   Easy Button: press the button and it says “That was easy”. Stepping on it is strictly forbidden!

                                             

     3.   Assorted Wind-Up Toys: wind them up; they flip, spin, hop, crawl, chatter, or march across the table. No, you wind it the other way!

                                            

     4.   Barrel of Monkeys: link the monkeys; 10 pts. for red ones, 5 pts. for blue, 2 pts. for yellow. Link all 12 for the maximum 68 pts. One hand only please!

                                            

     5.   Assorted Fruit and Vegetable Erasers: play “what’s missing?” or just be mesmerized by their amazingness. Some with detachable pieces. Please don’t put them in your mouth.

                                           

Grand Prize: an autographed copy of Kelly Pettit‘s award winning CD “FUEL“!

http://cdbaby.com/cd/kellypettit

http://www.meermusic.com/content/artists/public/digipres.asp?iid=40382

http://www.meermusic.com/

You have one week starting …….NOW!

note: in the event of a tie, winner will be chosen by names in a hat.

double note: Yes this is a shameless plug for my friend, but his music is great!

And just awarded Track of the Month on Fame Games for “She’s just like summer“!

Congrats!!