I’m going to paint my house with a paintball gun
right after …
washing the van with a water pistol.
But first I have to wait until I’m finished flipping these pancakes with the slingshot.
note: My friend always wins at paintball … he uses clear paintballs with stealth technology. I don’t even know when I’m hit! … he just tells me. He’s pretty good at poker too; I don’t know half the rules he does!
double note: paint cannonballs would be awesome!
triple note: a water Gatling gun would probably just be a hose.
quadruple note: Singapore Slingshots would be a great drink!
quintuple note: peashooter snipers are underrated.
sextuple note: I had third degree Indian burns for most of my childhood.
septuple note: I know “Indians” isn’t politically correct, but “First Nations People burns” or “Native American burns” just doesn’t sound right.
octuple note: I was missing a few cards as a kid, so I only know “49 pick up“.
nontuple note: Do you remember “Conkers“? It sucks in Japan … they actually eat chestnuts.
decuple note: I can make a game out of anything as long as you’re not big on rules: I’m unruly!
Posted in comedy, funny, games, humor, language, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, Uncategorized, word play, words
Tagged 52 pick up, chestnuts, Conkers, dress poker ... start nude and put your close back on, First Nations People, games, Gatling Guns, hoses, humor, Indian burns, inefficiency expert, Native Americans, paintball, paintball cannons, pancakes, peashooters in the bathroom, really cold water gives me chestnuts, Singapore Slingshots, slingshots, unruly rule makers, water pistols
I am ignorant about many types of food.
I love food, but don’t usually think too deeply about how it is grown.
In the last few years I have discovered:
– pineapples don’t grow on trees.
– bananas hang on trees the opposite way I thought they did.
– coconuts don’t start out small, brown, and hairy like the ones in the supermarket.
– people do eat chestnuts, just not the kind that grew around my hometown.
(I always wondered why people were roasting chestnuts on an open fire in that Christmas song)
I still haven’t figured out peanuts yet: please don’t tell me, I want it to be a surprise.
note: road apples, prairie oysters, and cow pies do not grow on trees or in the ground. I think one of them is inedible, but I could be wrong.
double note: My in-depth knowledge of how rice is grown hopefully makes up for these other deficiencies.
Posted in comedy, food, funny, humor, life, personal, random, random thoughts, stuff, thoughts, travel, Uncategorized
Tagged an extremely big amount, bananas, chestnuts, Christmas, coconuts, how to grow food, humor, lots of rice, peanuts, pineapples, rice, road apples and cow pies taste like shit, road apples prairie oysters cow pies! Yum!!